Thursday, 18 February 2010

McItaly ‘Chew n Spew’ Burger Gaffe

When Italy’s Agriculture Minister, Luca Corruptioni donned an apron at the new McDonald’s Chew n Spew outlet in Rome to promote their ‘McItaly Burger’ he probably thought he was doing his country’s food producers a good turn.

Sold under the slogan “McDonald’s speaks Italian”, the McItaly was made “completely from ingredients sourced in the country," according to Corruptioni.
A greasy blob of meat plopped onto a square bun and layered with sliced tomato, a Vomitelli asparagus sauce and Asiago ‘old sock’ cheese (cunningly red, white and green ingredients to reflect the national flag) the burger was supposed to “promote the taste of Italy”.

Instead it has cooked up a furious argument, with Signore Wotde Fuccinelli, the founder of the Slow Food Movement, berating the concoction as a ‘pile of Yankee shit’ and accused the Berlusconi government of undermining Italian cuisine and a thousand years of culinary tradition in the name of commercial profit.
“You know, this thing tastes like a Neapolitan grogger – a bucket of shit with a crust on top,” Fuccineli told a reporter from the Chuck Up & Chunder Review.

McDonald’s founded its supposedly-innovative Hong Kong-based sweatshop Food Studio in 2006 to devise dishes suited to local tastes at its 31,000 Chew n Spew restaurants in 119 countries around the world.

• In France McDonald-goers can indulge in the Escargo McDo (snail) or the spicy Grenouille Burger (frog on a bun).
• Visitors to Malaysian McDonald’s can treat themselves to a Goat Satay Prosperity Burger during the coming Chinese New Year’s Kung Hee Fat Choy festive season.
• In Japan, the Ebi Filet-O consists of breaded, deep-fried seaweed, while the standard bun is steamed rather than toasted – with its pink paper wrapping intended to appeal to Japanese women and salary men faggots.
• Top of the pops in Tel Aviv is the Orla Guerin Burger – a Gaza Pogrom Patty made from deep fried kosher foreskins – and a steady favourite with the manky Mohels and rabid Rabbi’s.
• The savory McCamel Burger has proved to be a nonpareil fast food favourite with Egyptian pimps and taxi drivers.
• The You-Yu Burger - a jaw-aching crunchy dried squid patty - is a top item on the McD’s menu in Hong Kong.
• The McCurry Yummie - a pig’s ear filled with a disgusting spicy concoction that resembles diarrhoea is available at any McD’s outlet across India.
• The McKimchi Bun, available in South Korean branches of McD’s, consists of layers of red hot chillied cabbage that will leave the diner’s arsehole looking – and feeling - like a bright red tulip.
• In Canada fast-food eaters can choose to go upmarket with the McMoose Burger bun – and even request a staff member to help them chew it.
• Last but not least, let’s raise a toast to McD’s Iraq where the speciality is the McMutant Burger - made from 100% Monsanto corn-fed goatmeat patties irradiated with the wholesome goodness of genuine depleted uranium.

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