Aberdeen Plods Hypocrisy Squad Arrest T-Shirt

Once again the latest and the greatest from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill.

A High Street boutique selling "Anyone but England" T-shirts for this year's World Cup has rejected suggestions it is racist after police in Scotland’s crime capital of Aberdeen made one of their spectacular “Ello, ello, ello - what ‘ave we ‘ere then, Jimmy?” dawn raids on its store.

Police warned Slanj Kilts Ltd, which also has stores in Glasgow, Edinburgh and Uganda, that a window display featuring the T-shirt could cause offence to the sensibilities of Sassenach tourists.

Conversely, staff at Aberdeen’s Slanj Kilts branch told the media “What an effin’ joke. Some stupid plastic plod comes in the shop and starts harpin’ on about the T-shirt’s slogan being offensive and racist and all kinds of other politically correct sermonising shite.”

Grampian Police’s official spokesman PC Dorkie McTwatt told a reporter from the Time Wasters Gazette the force's visit to the Slanj Kilts store was not in response to any public complaint about the shirt slogan but prompted by an officer acting on his own initiative – specifically PCSO Moron from the force’s Aberdeen-based Rapid Response Hypocrisy Squad.

PCSO Moron told reporters from the tabloid gutter press "The Grampian area, in common with the rest of the country, has recorded incidents relating to foreign nationality and we are tasked to do our best to ensure that incidents of this nature are kept to a minimum and make people aware of the potential for disturbance such a criminal act might cause.”

"The primary role of any police force is to preserve the peace and catch criminals - and we would be failing in our duty if we did not act in a socially-responsible manner. The public expect no less of us."

Well said, PCSO Moron – the public expect no less. So, applying the same philosophy, get your shiny handcuffs out and plod off around to Ferryhill Place and start arresting members of the Aberdeen Angus Club’s disgusting paedophile ring that’s been operating with impunity and official protection in the area for decades – raping disabled children – and effecting the arrest and gagging of Robert Green for campaigning for justice for these ravished innocents – and further ordering the murder of those who sought to exposed them.

So, off you go PCSO Moron – but a word to the wise – don’t mention this to Chief Constable MacKerracher until the arrests are a done thing – and the Sassenach media present in full and assembled array to broadcast the long-overdue events.

Thought for the day: If a bear shits in the woods and there’s no-one around to smell it, does it still stink?

Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.