UK’s Spy n Snitch Society Goes Overboard

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The mind-blowing extent of Broken Britain’s panopticon surveillance society - boosted to a draconic high octane level under Tony Bliar’s New Labour misadministration, with local authority scumbags mooching into every facet of the common herd’s lives - was laid bare for public scrutiny earlier this week with the exposure of a highly confidential Ministry for Communities & Local Government report leaked to the Totalitarians Gazette by whistle-blowing moles.

The 6,000 page Word document file, marked Top Secret, revealed that in excess of three million snooping operations have been carried out by council jobsworths since the good ole US of A was hit with the 9/11 New Pearl Harbour false flag terrorist attacks by the Israelis a decade ago - to provide a raison de etre for kick starting World War Three and re-colonising the Middle East and Africa via the black propaganda demonisation of Islam and its Muslim adherents, branding them a bunch of fanatical Jolly Jihad psychopaths who abhor Western democratic freedoms and our despicable infidel cultural practices of shaving and watching Strictly Come Dancing while scoffing bacon butties - and ogling topless barmaids while swigging pints of Old Headbanger Special Brew or Bitch Thumper lager.

Since the publication of the report, the civil rights and privacy advocate campaign group ‘No to Nosy Twats!’ is demanding the controversial Kafkaesque anti-terror laws – euphemistically titled the ‘Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act’ – under which all snitch and grasser intrusive surveillance and spy operations by state snoopers are authorised – be scrapped in entirety.

Local Government Secretary Eric ‘I Beat Bulimia’ Prickles responded to the report’s leaking with a disingenuous, palliative statement that the all new ‘Protection of Freedoms Bill’ will reform the maligned RIPA – forcing officious council jobsworths to obtain a signed authorisation from three magistrates and a bishop before they can embark on further spying missions.
Conversely the ‘No to Nosy Twats’ group claim the proffered safeguards are insufficient and RIPA should be shit-canned – hook, line and sinker.

Baz’ ‘Pitbull’ McSkanger, the group’s feisty spokesman, a former licensed cormorant strangler, told one press hack from the Big Brother Watch Review that “This RIPA thingy woz supposed ter be aimed at catchin’ Paki Muslim terrorists an’ wot-have-yer – but these moronic tossers runnin’ the local councils is usin’ it ter have their high-viz knobhead snitches spy on any poor fucker an’ their dog wot’s put some crap in the wrong wheelie bin – or a family who’s kids aren’t in their school catchment area. It’s bureaucracy gone bonkers.”

“Then yer got old Eric ‘Six Chins’ Prickles tellin’ us that his new Community Safety Accreditation Scheme’s all fer our own good – getting’ spied on , that is - an’ if yer got nowt ter hide them there’s no effin’ problem. Wot a crock of shit that is. I mean ter say, the word ‘intrusive’ doesn’t even enter inter the fuckin’ equation, now does it.”

“An’ wot about these shot-up traffic warden dildos wiv their Community Enforcement Officer sweaters an’ shiny little badges wiv a hidden CCTV camera – all done up like some Nazi Gestapo or Soviet Stasi creeps wot’s on secondment from the Renta-Twat security agency.”
“This ‘third tier’ law enforcement’s just policin’ on the cheap – havin' some gang of officious pillocks sneakin’ around the effin’ neighbourhood ter catch some hapless twat fer ‘wheelie bin crime’ an’ slap ‘em wiv an on-the-spot fine of £90 quid – then brand ‘em as suffering from Oppositional Defiance Disorder cos they had the guts ter tell ‘em ter fuck off. Really, have yer ever heard anythin’ so effin’ barmy in yer life?”

“We’ve now got 2,500 of these uniform fetishist gits up an’ down the country – the likes of car park attendants an’ dog poo wardens – not exactly the intelligencia of our society - commissioned wiv intrusive powers wot’s workin’ fer town halls an’ private security firms wot can hand out fines, take photographs of offenders an’ demand their names and addresses – an’ none of ‘em’s accountable like the Plods are.”

“Georgie Orwell’s 1984 woz written in 1949 – wot woz 62 years ago an’ now we’ve got a real Big Brother panopticon surveillance society wiv all this CCTV coverage. Makes yer think – is Britain really broken – or is this the way it woz designed ter be?”

Thought for the day: While Orwell’s 1984 provides both alarming and prophetic insights to what a Dystopian state might manifest as, perhaps it is time, and again prudent, to remind PM Posh Dave Scameron and his Libservative Coalition that the revelatory text was a ‘warning’ aimed at the common people – and definitely not a blueprint and instruction manual – Totalitarianism for Dummies - for governments to impose on their own voting public.

Regardless, fuck Big Brother – and his sister – and the New World Order.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.