NoW / Met Corruption Scandal Thickens

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The Met Plod Squad’s Operation Twat-Watch team, tasked with investigating their own bent Masonic fraternity ‘Brothers’ on charges of corruption in the news media phone hacking and information-for-sale scandal, finally came clean on Monday and confirmed for the Leveson inquiry that not only was the ginger-mingin Rebekah Brooks - editor of The Sun from 2003 to 2009 and CEO of News International until she resigned in disgrace last July due being no longer fit for purpose – assigned a ‘grace & favour’ police horse for her fox hunting leisure activities but also fostered several senior ranking plods who were close to retirement.

Apparently the long service officers in question were posted to Brooks’ Smegmashire country house at Flipping Norton with the intention of getting them out of the city and into a nice open-air environment to spend their remaining couple of years of service providing the bubble-headed ‘slapper’ with a personalised security detail and close-in protection – a situation described by Lord Leveson as “at best inappropriately close and at worst corrupt".

Ms Brooks (nee Wade) was arrested in July last year ‘by appointment’ under the Prevention of Corruption Act and remains on bail on suspicion of phone hacking and authorising massive illegal payments to police and public servants.

Que – WTF - Arrested by ‘appointment’? No kicking the criminal bitch’s front door in just before dawn?
“Excuse me, this is the police, sorry to bother you. Can we make an appointment to come round and arrest you on charges of graft and corruption – at your own convenience, of course? After lunch next Friday – around 1:00 pm. That sounds fine. Thank you Ma’am.”

The Leveson Inquiry heard evidence that the police horse ‘Dobbin’ had been ‘loaned’ to Brooks in 2008, with her assuming responsibility for food and vet bills until it was returned in 2010 in a less than healthy condition, suffering from what is known in clinical psychology circles as ‘equine depression’ and spaced out on Prozac – plus afflicted with a severe spinal curvature complaint due Brooks’ fat arse bouncing up and down on it’s back. The horse reportedly committed suicide in October 2011 by going into lemming mode, jumped a fence and galloped off down the northbound carriageway of the M40 into oncoming traffic.

Retired Chief Inspector Frank Mc Skanger of the Met’s Fraud Squad told the Leveson inquiry that “We woz all sent off ter Rebekah’s place in the country as a bit of a dodge and an easy life before we drew our pensions – whisper a few bits of juicy political gossip in her ear an’ what-have-yer.”

“Easy life, my arse – the egocentric bitch had us muckin’ out the stables then runnin’ around wiv ‘fetch me, feed me, carry me’ demands. Then the fitter plods got fed double shots of 100mg Viagra and used by the rampant ranga as toy boys for randy romps in the barn to satisfy her licentious carnal urges an’ all came back knackered – just like poor old Dobbin. No bloody wonder Ross Kemp got shut of the cow.”

Thought for the day: Apparently Ms Brooks has recently spit the proverbial dummy concerning gutter press gossip over her buying a ‘wrapped n ready to go’ take-away baby from a surrogate mother and has instructed London’s premier ‘sue and be damned’ litigators Crater-Ffuck to take legal action for slander against anyone daring to imply she’s too lazy to even conceive and deliver her own children.

Hmmm, how about slanderous speculation that PM Posh Dave Scameron might well have ridden on the star-crossed Dobbin? How about the fact he might have also had a ride on the ginger-mingin Rebekah?

Given Scameron’s 24/7 smarmy, insouciant attitude coupled with his personal lack of integrity and fostering this burgeoning culture of dishonesty that infects the entire Coalition beast that no fucker or their dog ever voted for - the tosspot’s getting shy on credibility – especially when he tells press hacks that on second thought she might have ridden Dobbin at Brooks’ country pile but Ms Scabby Bertin, his Downing Street spokesperson, got ‘confused’ as she’d been inundated with a lot of questions about ‘horses’. Yeah, right.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.