Saturday, 10 March 2012

Big Brother NLP Targets 2-year Olds

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Children as young as two who display signs of violent and aggressive behaviour at nursery will be targeted for ‘intensive’ tuition sessions in social skills and how to comport themselves under moronic plans unveiled by the Ministry for What Can We Fuck With Next yesterday.

The notorious Common Purpose social engineering brainwashing ‘charity’ is rumoured to be working with the Ministry for Whitewash & Coverups on how to dodge a public outcry and the usual brouhaha that erupts around stupid government schemes if disruptive toddlers are pulled from regular kindergarten classes and dispatched to special army-administered centres (military prisons) to undergo compulsory neuro-linguistic programming sessions aimed at anger management and get on with their ‘Big Society’ multicultural classmates before starting formal school.

Under the totalitarian Orwellian proposals made by the government’s self-styled behaviour tsar, Charles ‘Pitbull’ Taylor, schools and nurseries will be encouraged to identify (read ‘target’) children who could benefit from help to tackle their anti-social behaviour in an effort to prevent them developing into Bolshie ochlocratic revolutionaries that might one day be inclined to form their very own radical mobocracy movements and overthrow the useless government – and re-invent the iconic wheel – along with the flawed Crapitalist system.

The proposal is part of a package drawn up by Common Purpose and Taylor, a career martinet and former welfare officer at Iraq’s infamous Abu Ghraib Prison, to improve provisions for disruptive youngsters in the wake of last summer’s riots which followed the extra-judicial illegal killing (murder) of alleged Tottenham bad boy Mark Duggan by the Met Plod Squad’s armed Renta-Thug Unit – which resulted in 95% of Broken Britain’s city-based commercial and retail businesses being looted and torched by unemployed anarchists out for a bit of fun.

Unveiling the plan, Taylor, a self-promoting school discipline expert of dubious credentials, announced the aim was to help children at an early stage rather than waiting until they started throwing people out of windows when they reached 14 or 15 - claiming it’s a lot simpler to tackle and modify poor behaviour among younger children due the obvious fact they’re so much easier to intimidate and put the ‘frighteners’ on at two or three years of age.

Taylor is the incumbent headmaster of the Thrashers Asbo Central Academy in London’s Slumborough Hamlets, which caters exclusively for the children of convicted war criminals, serial killers and other associated homicidal maniacs - along with pupils afflicted with bizarre phobias plus an assortment of behavioural and emotional problems.

Speaking to a press hack from the Neo-Fascist Gazette he explained “Often these children are showing some quite extreme attitude patterns very early on – and basically a tantrum is nothing less than a one-man riot – which is where all this oppositional defiance disorder syndrome begins and kids start thinking for themselves – and the last thing any government needs is for the peasants to go into individuality mode and become conscious of what’s wrong in this world.”

“The next thing they reach adolescence and the hormones kick in and we have a bunch of budding nihilist rebels on our hands. First off they start wearing hoodies and Doc Martens and shaving their heads and inventing secret handshakes and having tribal tattoos. Next they’re taking a critical look at what the government’s up to and asking all sorts of awkward questions like “Who killed Cock Robin?” and “Why didn’t David Kelly’s assisted suicide warrant a coroner’s inquest?” or “Why did Tony Bliar put a media gag order on the Operation Ore paedophile / child porno ring expose?”

In Taylor’s unqualified opinion, young children should learn simple social skills – such as asking for things without resorting to mugging people.
“It’s about training them how to behave properly in school, what the rules are, how to contain themselves, and how to express themselves without a claw hammer or bladed weapon or pick axe shaft in their hands.”

“We need an increased focus on effective assessment and identification of children’s needs. This should take place as early as possible – preferably straight after they’re weaned and before their anti-social behaviour has deteriorated to the extent that castration – or permanent exile north of Hadrian’s Wall is the only option left open to polite society.”

“Under my scheme, feral youngsters from the age of two could be given intensive help by expert staff outside their pre-school facility and in some cases sent to specialist nurseries.” (Kinder-Prisons).
“From five, disruptive youngsters would be placed in out of sight - out of mind Pupil Referral Units (cages) which will be linked to schools through a razor wire tunnel and where other kids can go and feed them, spit at them and poke them with sticks.”

Taylor’s own Slumborough Hamlets school has a nursery section (large cage) which accepts up to eight children at a time aged between three and five.
“The best thing that happens in my own school by miles is actually the ‘intervention’ thing we do with rowdy three and four-year-olds - when I put my hobnail boots on and give the little shits a good kicking and make sure they take their ADHD Syndrome medications.”

Thought for the day: Be it this vaunted yet hypocritical doctrine of Democracy, or the all-consuming Communism system, or the jack-booted political censorship of Fascism at its worse – whatever mask they wear each is a dictatorship set against the interests of the proletariat - and their tools of enforcement are the red-tape bureaucracy, the plod squads and ultimately, the nation’s military.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy and/or squirrel shit.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

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