Friday, 31 December 2010

US Pull 180 Afghan Strategy Turn-Around

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The latest US-NATO military strategy being introduced by the homicidal maniacs running the Pentagon’s Department of Insanity is aimed at providing some semblance of success and credibility to their fubar ‘Operation Enduring Warfare’ campaign in Afghanistan - and is a total 180 degree turn-around from the tried – and failed – plans to hunt down the non-existent al Qaeda – and wipe out Taliban resistance to foreign troops invading and subsequently occupying their country – solely to achieve an Alpha-Dominant military status to guard their Socal pipeline, keep Hamid Kami-Karzai’s poxy Pashtu puppet government in power – and gain control of the bountiful opium crops.

NATO Commander, US General Billy Bob Betrayus, founder of the West Point Military Academy’s ‘Duck Fuckers Club’, explained the revised strategy to a WickedLeaks researcher posing as a reporter from the Warmongers Gazette: “We were getting no goddam where with targeting the Taliban cos they don’t play by the rules and none of them wear uniforms so we don’t know who the fuck is who – nor will they lie down and play dead like our guys do when they get shot or fragged.”

“Seriously, when considering the recent snafu’s and losses suffered by both NATO’s 21st Cannon Fodder Regiment and the 18th Body Bag Brigade, we decided to switch to this scheme of the RAND Corporation’s that they’ve adopted from the Israeli attacks on the Gaza Strip and introduce ‘Operation Kill Every Fucker’ (OKEF) to overcome the negative Allied body count situation - plus get the whingeing White House kikester punks off our backs.”

“Our Chief of Unconventional Warfare Tactics here in Bellend Province, Colonel Wiley T. Coyote, has now implemented the OKEF battle plan to offset the vast dissimilarities between our NATO weekly body counts and the nigh-on zero count of these sneaky Taliban bastards who use this guerrilla warfare strategy to an unfair advantage against out troops.”
“Henceforth our attacks will be focused and concentrated on every fucker and their dog that’s old enough to bleed – these Muslim civilian types here in Afghanistan and in the borderlands of Pakistan – and any of the other fucking ‘Stan’s’ that harbour the Taliban bastards.”

However ‘Operation Kill Every Fucker’ got off to a bad start yesterday with an incident that was immediately reclassified as ‘Operation Whoops’ when a squadron of NATO Apache gunship helicopters, under the command of Major Hiram H. Peckerhead, ‘inexplicably’ attacked an official Afghan government convoy heading to a celebratory Islamic religious event at the ‘Bird in a Burka’ roadhouse, hosted by the local authorities in Tarfu Province.

The attack blasted a number of vehicles to scrap metal status, killing and wounding a mix of thirty-plus ranking police officers, a national assembly MP, the local governor Abdul Ali Shagfat, and a host of accompanying family members including women and children – and the local holy man, Imam Fubsy bin Jaffacake.

While NATO Commander General Betrayus and OKEF chief Colonel Coyote cautiously avoided any and all mention of Operation Kill Every Fucker in their press release concerning the incident, disingenuously insisting they always take extraordinary care to avoid striking innocent targets, this has been viewed by President Hamid Kami-Karzai’s ruling Kleptocracy Party cabinet as a claim that becomes less and less credible with each passing incident.

Thought for the day: Project RAND’s ‘Game Theory’ scenarios for global strategy, posited by Herman Khan (great-grandson of Genghis Khan) and Professor Igor Snottoff (inventor of the Kleenex tissue) might well look good on paper – or being verbalised from a lectern at a Stateside university campus – or as the after-dinner speech at one of the military-industrial cabal’s Freemasonry gatherings – but in reality the US haven’t done so well with the RAND Corporation’s bullshit, or the Zionist’s Project for a New American Century - or Albert Pike’s Masonic ‘Ordo ab Chao’ (Order out of Chaos) maxim.

Their illegal 2003 ‘weapons of mass distraction’ misadventure into Iraq resulted in a total reversal of the axiom, resulting in ‘Order into Chaos’ – so too now in Afghanistan - just the same as anything else the bungling Yanks put their hand to. These ultra-Zionist ‘Jews of convenience’ cretins running the US, that initiated the Israeli 9/11 false flag terrorist strikes, have transformed Murphy’s Law into Flanagan’s Precept – which states that Murphy was an optimist.

Are their memories so short that they’ve forgotten the lessons of Vietnam? (alike Afghanistan, yet another Graveyard of Empires) Their disingenuous bid to halt the spread of Communism through Indo-China was, once again, defeated by superior military strategy and the iron, indomitable will of the indigenous people. Hmmm, so too will it be in Afghanistan – another bodybag-filling Groundhog Day – without the happy ending.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Oh, and by the way, fuck the Zionist-dominated US and their Project for a New American Century.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

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