Gulag Gaz Boss: Guilty as Framed

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Former Russian industrial tycoon and prominent oligarch Oleg Mobsaroubles has been found guilty of embezzlement at a second ‘politically charged’ trial in Moscow, instigated by the sinister Stalinist-style Ministry for Acquisitions.

Senior State Judge Genghis Corruptsky informed the court that Mobsaroubles and his business partner Michail Sackashit were guilty of embezzling funds from their Wankprom Oil company and laundering the proceeds via that notorious offshore tax haven – the North Sea-based Dogger Bank.

The 96-year old Mobsaroubles is already serving an eight-year sentence following his 2005 trial for ‘galloping tax evasion’ concerning income from his Gulag Gaz Corporation – whose company headquarters were registered in the Atlantic island of Rockall – and was later procured by SPAG, the front company controlled by Semion Isaac Barfsky, Chief Vor of the Georgian ‘Bratva’ (Mafia).

Mobsaroubles, now very much the ailing oligarch, was due to be released next year, but these new politically-motivated charges and resulting convictions could see him jailed until Hell freezes over – if not longer.

A one-time Moscow University student prodigy and technocratic innovator, Mobsaroubles originally formed Gulag Gaz with his college pal Dr Igor Snottsky, the inventor of Bogey-Wipe nasal tissues and the battery-operated handkerchief. However, after Snottsky was killed in a freak traffic accident while taking a bath, Mobsaroubles teamed up with the boss of the post-Soviet Greedoff Bank, Michail Sackashit, to form Wankprom Oil.

The two defendants were led into court in handcuffs by armed guards, with Mobsarouble’s teary-eyed girl friend – Moscow Slappers Club pole dancer and celebrity stripper Takem Orloff – waving to him from the public gallery.

In the sealed glass dock Mobsaroubles, once Russia's richest man, blew kisses to his ever-faithful stable of Thai ladyboy bitches; the small courtroom packed with journalists and members of the ‘vory v zakone’ who had him stitched up on false charges and took over his businesses with help from Russia’s number one criminal, ex-KGB Director and incumbent Slime Minister Vlad’ Putrid.

Several hundred demonstrators could be heard outside the courtroom, chanting "Freedom for Oleg!" and "Send Vlad Putrid to jail instead!" - and further denouncing the charges as “Rubbishsky!”

A number of Mobsaroubles’ supporters were detained on domestic terrorism charges after calling for PM Putrid to be put behind bars, with several demonstrators beaten to death with a sock-full of kopeks when they refused to disperse.

One lawyer representing both Oleg Mobsaroubles and Mikhail Sackashit, Mr Vadim Kuntoff, has criticised what he described as a politically inspired trial to keep opponents of the current crooked Medvedev-Putrid regime under lock and key so their mega-bucks assets could be stolen.

Fellattia van der Gamm, the legal spokesman for Ox-Rat, the international political abuse watchdog, told one reporter from the Daily Shitraker that the trial was a farce. "Mr Mobsaroubles is in effect Russia's political prisoner, and we thought those days were over with the end of communism and the break-up of the USSR in 1990.”
“This has serious implications for the way the global business community views Russia – a criminal sovereign realm run along the same lines as the Zionist gangster state of Israel – and not to be trusted.”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.