Bliar’s Bodyguards Go Nuclear

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Tony Bliar, renowned as the wholly ineffectual UN Middle East peace envoy - (who notoriously sat on his bony arse in Cyprus enjoying a Christmas vacation with 'Cherie Rubberlips' while Israel’s homicidal military killed every fucker old enough to bleed in their 22-day long ‘Festive Season’ genocidal massacre of Palestinian civilians in the besieged concentration camp of Gaza during December 2008 and January 2009) – has come under fire for wasting UK tax-payers money – yet again.

Bliar’s police bodyguards, seconded from Scotland Yard’s elite SO1 Specialist Protection Unit, which provides armed in-close security for former ranking British war criminals and visiting foreign scumbags – and are also assigned to SO19 when the unit’s tasked with culling London’s burgeoning Brazilian electrician population - are the subject of an official probe by the Independent Police Coverups Commission.

IPCC watchdog officials want to know why members of the former premier’s 24/7 fifty-man security detail of armed plods took it upon themselves to spend £200 million quid on an arsenal of hi-tech weapons of mass distraction – which included a Russian Akula 941 class submarine, three Boeing AH-64 Apache attack helicopters, a fleet of up-armoured M1114 Humvee APC’s - plus a small arsenal of tactical nuclear warheads they bought (untested and missing the warranty documents) from a member of the Ukrainian mafia - known only as ‘Vodka Harry’ - at a lap-dancing bar in Kiev - and without getting an official receipt.

Commander Ja’akoff Weaselstein, the ex-Mossad chief of Bliar’s SO1 security detail, informed the IPCC that the assorted armaments were purchased as ‘defensive measures’ to protect their peace envoy charge – and not as weapons of aggression - when he visited the Gaza Strip in March 2009 (the first such trip during the two years he had held the post - and since Hamas seized control of the besieged enclave in the 2007 elections). “They are a deterrent only – and we have the micro-nuke warheads and their FIM 92A Stinger launch missiles stored in a shed at the back of our hotel car park in Jerusaelm - they are very safe there.”

Bliar, who has a veritable legion of staff working from the five-star American Colony Hotel in Jerusalem, spends one week every month there, wheeler-dealing on his own account with the Knesset's kikester politicians and pursuing Baron Rothshite’s crime syndicate business interests to expand his personal fortune – and that of his greedy, money-grubbing slapper of a wife Cherie.

However, the gospel according to Amnesty International and an SO1 whistle-blower working for Ox-Rat, the international snitch and grassers watchdog charity, during the March 2009 ‘Gaza excursion’, Bliar - the so-called ‘peace envoy’ - only travelled a couple of hundred yards across the Israel-Gaza border on that singular occasion.

Instead of meeting with Hamas officials to discuss the IDF’s criminal practice of stealing Palestinian teenager’s internal organs to feed their thriving transplant black market, Bliar spent several minutes in the shadow of Israel’s Great Apartheid Wall, climbing over the rubble of the Shaheed Kindergarten and the adjacent Al Usra Medical Centre, levelled by IDF missiles and artillery.

Here he paused in texting his stockbroker to speak with a Palestinian goat herder named Achmed about his views on the global warming crisis and if he believed Al Gore was the prophesied Messiah, before leaving for a high-profile money-spinning speaking engagement at a Shites of Malta annual dinner in Geneva – where he was the personal guest of Grand Master Fra Matthew Festering.

These latest revelations, concerning ex-politicians and war criminals digging into the public purse willy-nilly, have raised fresh questions concerning the right of wealthy individuals - (Bliar has an estimated £20 zillion quid fortune he’s milked out of the private sector through influence peddling and insider trading since he left Downing Street as payments for his part in the illegal Iraq invasion) - to public-funded security details – when they should contribute to their own burgeoning protection costs as Bliar’s bodyguards bleed the taxpayer mega-bucks a year in salaries and expenses alone.

IPCC Chairwoman Beverly Titwank informed one reporter from the Daily Shitraker “If Tony Bliar had been a bit more like his own description of himself – an up-front sort of bloke – and not such a lying shit, invading Afghanistan and Iraq and having Dr Kelly murdered – then signing off on the 7/7 false flag terror attacks on the London tube system - perhaps Mr Nice Guy probably he wouldn’t be considered Mr Nasty Twat and be a Muslim Jihadist target – and every Brit’s pet hate.”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Thought for the day: Why is the British tax-payer forking out to protect a scumbag war criminal that should be arrested, charged and prosecuted under the statutes of the Universal Jurisdiction laws?

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.