Tuesday, 5 January 2010

Muslim Fatwa Terrorists Target Cartoonist

Danish police - hot to trot with an adrenalin rush after their recent practice run of indiscriminately brutalising carbon exchange scam demonstrators protesting outside the Copenhagen Global Warming summit – yesterday got the chance for some live round target practice by shooting a Somali Muslim terrorist from the Mogadishu-based Jolly Jihadi militia’s ‘Fatwa Squad’.

Police in the provincial town of Aarshole cornered - then kneecapped - an unemployed Somali pirate at the home of 96-year old cartoonist Klaud Kuntsonn when he charged at them – Berserker-fashion - with a Viking era battleaxe.

It was Kuntsonn’s 2006 cartoon depicting the Prophet Muhammad wearing a bomb-styled turban with a smoking fuse that kick started a series of violent sectarian demonstrations up and down the length and breadth of the known Universe by the Mad Mullahs Brigade that finally ended with millions feared dead and several wounded.

Since this time ranking Imams from across pan-Islam have pronounced a Fatwa (death sentence) on Kuntsonn for his unforgivable crime of blasphemy in depicting an image of Muhammad – forbidden under Islamic law - especially so with the bomb-styled head gear.

Mr Kuntsonn was at home enjoying a quiet evening’s game of ‘rub n tug’ with his personal Albanian pikey masseuse when the maniac African walked across the frozen moat, scaled the drawbridge and broke into the coal cellar armed with a knife and battleaxe.

An armed response team from the local Aarshole police department arrived and shot the looney Somali after Klaus Kuntsonn and his masseuse locked themselves in his safe room and pressed the panic alarm button.

The man, who cannot yet be named for privacy reasons under Danish law (Mustapha bin Madeupname) was charged with attempted murder and assaulting a police vehicle with an axe.

Danish ‘Pet’ secret service official Bobby Shaffto told Fux News the intruder was a 28-year-old Somali linked to the radical Islamist al-Shitbag militia based in Mogadishu – who came to carry out the Fatwa on Kuntsonn and claim the $1 million reward as he was short of money after being made redundant from his piracy job in the run-up to the Christmas holidays.

The assailant, who is currently in the hospital wing of Fuckenheim Immigration Prison due being shot in the kneecaps, told a Pox News interpreter he was on a Boy Scout bob-a-job week exercise and was only carrying the axe so he could chop some firewood for Mr. Kuntsonn.

Conversely Pet agents strip-searched the terrorist suspect in the ambulance carrying him to hospital and discovered he was rigged out with a pair of the all-new Crotch Bomb jockey shorts with a detonating fuse run down one leg and poking out of a hole in his sock.

Forensic examination of the pyrotechnic skiddies revealed they were a North Yemeni counterfeit copy of the famous Jimmy Choo-Choo designer kex impregnated with an Iranian-manufactured high explosive dog shampoo – specifically the Republican Guard ‘Woof Wash’ brand.

Further condemning evidence was obtained when doctors discovered an Arabic Fatwa reward claim form hidden up his rear passage – with the name Salman Rushdie crossed out and Klaus Kuntsonn scribbled over the top - palimpsest-fashion - in pencil.

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