Wednesday, 13 January 2010

Broon Declares Islam4UK March a Big No-No

The Downing Street-based Trotskyite porridge wog currently charged with running the country, Prime Minister Gordon Broon, has issued a most severe and ominous “See you, Muhammad!” warning to a radical Islamic group planning a protest march in a Wiltshire town famous for honouring the bodies of fallen soldiers as they pass through on their way from RAF Lyneham to their final resting places in the old military cemetery behind Tesco.

Mr. Dogbite Jaffacake of Islam4UK has written to the police commander of Wootton Bassett informing him his organisation is planning a protest march to honour all the Muslim civilians snuffed by the illegal occupation troops in Iraq and Afghanistan – which will be highlighted by the protesters carrying 500 symbolic coffins shoulder-high.

The Islam4UK group apparently chose the town to attract publicity to the fact that wherever neo-colonialist aggressors set foot in the shadow of Islam’s flag, then they’ll be coming home in body bags every time – which certain critics have pointed out to be quite a piece of hypocrisy when these very same economic migrants and refugees from oppression and poverty are actually guests on British soil.

Frank Scrunt, a Wootton Bassett resident and former Sergeant with the 21st Queen’s Own Cannon Fodder Regiment who lost both testicles to frostbite while serving in the Falklands, told a reporter from the Warmongers Gazette “These effin’ Muslim gits come over ‘ere an’ build their mosques and what ‘ave yer an’ claim welfare benefits or drive taxis an’ get on the NHS cos their own effin’ country’s an’ effin dump ruled by mad Mullahs an’ Sharia laws an’ then they start tellin’ us ‘ow ter run Britain an’ ter get our arses outa their ex-Third World shithole terrorist ‘avens.”

Conversely Islam4UK spokesman Sheikh Fizzy Al Kaseltzer, a former Kabul tomcat strangler and founder of the Luton Halitosis Society – long suspected by MI6 of having extremist links to the militant Saracen Martyrs Club and the Jolly Jihad Society, told the Headbangers Gazette “We’re all fuckin’ sick an’ tired of hearing about yer freedoms an’ democracy an’ all that crap – what a bunch of brain-dead wankers.”
“We want yer out of our country and take yer effin’ democracy wiv yer – an’ stop nickin’ our opium poppies.”

However, the Minister for Sorting Shit Out, Sir Irwin Bogbrush, informed Fux News “This radical Islamist group that planned a march through Wootton Bassett to honour the Al Qaeda and Taliban Muslims killed by our troops in the Afghanistan conflict has today been banned under the UK’s Terrorism Act 2000.”

“The Islam4UK persona they seem to have adopted only cloaks the fact they are actually the outlawed al-Muhajiroun group – so any more crap or lip out of them and they’ll be on the next plane back to Helmand Province with a Predator drone targeting the Verichip implanted in their arse.”

Mr Fizzy Al Kaseltzer vehemently denounced the government’s action in declaring Islam4UK / al-Muhajiroun a terrorist organisation, and denied any of their members were involved in violence.
"I rebuff the statement that any of our members have been involved in violent activities or the promotion of terrorist acts or asking anyone to carry out any sort of military operations – and if anyone says we did then they’re gonna get a nasty bomb through their letter box.”

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