D-Notice Slammed on Kelly Inquest Report

Vital evidence which would solve the mystery of the dodgy death of Government weapons inspector Dr David Kelly will now be kept under wraps for all Eternity – a time period of similar duration to the Biblical ‘Forever and Ever, Amen’ span – according to Sir Marmaduke Bogbrush, the official Parliamentary whistleblower.

In a draconian and highly suspicious decree, Lord Mutton, the peer who chaired the controversial inquiry into the scientist’s death, acting on a directive from Sir Marmaduke Koverup at the Ministry of Whitewash, has secretly ordered – in true Stalinist fashion - that any and all mention of Doctor David Kelly be immediately expunged from the official records, history books, the House of Conmans toilet’s grafitti wall, Wikipedia - and especially Google.

This includes the eradication of archived files relating to Kelly’s birth certificate, church christening entry, marriage certificate, grammar school reports, university degrees, passport applications, council tax payments, driving license - and most definitely his medical records and the tampered and concocted results of the ‘in camera’ post mortem examination.

It should be remembered that Dr Kelly was smeared by the members of Bliar’s government who publicly revealed it was he who had leaked the story - that the ‘weapons of mass distraction’ dossier was a crude work of fiction and more at scent than substance - to the Daily Shitraker’s Chlamydia Muffrot - the celebrated investigative reporter and author of the best-selling biography of Russian oligarch Oleg Mobsaroubles – ‘The Devil Reads Pravda’.

Speaking to the press outside the Cock and Bull Tavern, ex-New Labour spin doctor and career scumbag Alastair Scambell ventured that Lord Mutton’s imposition of a D-Notice basically puts an end to the scandal that did surround this now unmentionable non-person - (Dr. David Kelly - RIP) – and makes it a criminal offence under the Terrorism Act to even mention his name in the company of polite society.

Scambell informed Pox News “The sneaky whistle-blowing twat only stage-managed his suicide in that manner to make it appear as though he’d been murdered and thus cause a whole shitpile of trouble for us boys running Downing Street and Whitehall – and trying our fucking best to keep the Middle East British.”

The move, which has already re-stoked the conspiratorial fires of speculation about the true circumstances of Dr. Unmentionable’s death, comes just days before Tony Bliar is due to appear before the Chilcot Inquiry into the illegal invasion of Iraq to present a prima facie smorgasbord of mis-truths, factual distortions and absolute bare-faced lies to justify the overthrow of another sovereign nation’s leadership and government in the name of Zionist neo-colonial expansion and commercial profit.

But for Bliar and the Chilcot Inquiry, there’s no ifs or buts about it – to initiate a war of aggression is not only an international crime – it’s the supreme international crime against humanity – and Bliar’s as guilty as all Hell.

Only now has it emerged that a week after his inquiry was completed, Lord Mutton took this unprecedented covert action to ensure all vital evidence that proved Downing Street ordered Dr. Unmentionable’s murder remained a state secret forever.

One set of documents leaked to The Daily Shitraker revealed that a vital witness statement not produced in evidence at the inquiry concerned the written testimony and photographs provided by a certain Mr. Arthur Scrunt, an ardent bird watcher who was concealed in his hide in Dogger’s Wood on the afternoon of Dr. Unmentionable’s demise – and not only observed but photgraphed three typical MI6 types attack and snuff the doctor - then leave his lifeless body propped up against a tree.

Unfortunately Mr. Scrunt was unable to appear at the Mutton Inquiry to testify due falling victim to an extraordinary hit-and-run accident and suffering fatal injuries while mowing his front lawn.

Bazzer McTwat, leader of the ‘Justice for Dr. Kelly’ movement yesterday informed the gutter press he had now established the ‘Justice for Dr. Unmentionable’ movement in compliance with Lord Mutton’s D-Notice.

McTwat told a reporter from Fux News “The inquest into Dr Unmentionable's death got suspended before it could begin on the orders of Tony Bliar’s big mate Lord Falconer – wot was Lord Chancellor at the time. He used the Coroners Act to designate the Mutton Inquiry as 'fulfilling the function of an inquest' – wot scored an all-time high on the Bullshitometer – just to cover Bliar’s guilty arse.”

“We all know Dr. Unmentionable got snuffed before he let any more cats out of the top secret bag and dropped Bliar and Bush and Co. right in the shit for the dodgy weapons of mass distraction dossier and illegally invading Iraq – just ter please their Zionist bosses.”

“Now Mutton’s slapped a D-Notice on the entire issue wot carries the legislative constraints of the Official Secrets Act, the Prevention of Terrorism Act, the Police and Criminal Evidence Act, the Contempt of Court Act, and laws relating to obscenity, libel, race relations, sedition, incitement to disaffection and treason - amongst others – and then have the bare-face audacity to turn around and inform the public and the Fourth Estate they’ve got nothing to hide.”

“So, once again here we have the sleaze-ridden serial scumbags of the ‘New Labour’ (sic) party leadership kowtowing to the Zionist Illuminati’s military ruling class – them wot manages and owns the global media and uses it to control public perceptions of reality and fiction.”

“Here they’ve got caught manipulating senior jukebox civil servants – specifically the highly pliable Lord Mutton – and working against the good of, and the best interests of, the British voting public by coercing the said Lord Mutton to bar the release of all medical records, including the real and true results of the Dr. Unmentionable’s post mortem – and order them to be kept secret in perpetuity.”

”Lord Morton Mutton’s a disgrace to justice and a disgrace to the most basic human decency – that’s why Tony Bliar stuck the twat in charge of the inquiry. As fer Bliar, I’ve always considered the English language lacks the necessary words to describe him and his sick condition. History will not remember him and his ilk kindly.”