Wednesday, 20 March 2013

WTF Next? A Muff-Munching Monarch?

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

While the lower House of Conmans Tory / Lib-Dum fubar of a coalition government are occupied on a 24/7 basis arguing the toss with their New Labour opposition foes and conjuring up legislation to sanction a swathe of dirty deeds and ways to commit further treason against the electorate they were voted into office to represent the best interests of - by pawning the life’s blood of our once sceptred isle to the Rothshite crime syndicate and associated Edomite Mafia’s Fortune 500 corporations – a gaggle of dipshit morons in the upper House of Lords have awoken from their Rip van Wanker slumber with the not-so bright idea of questioning the legal status of hereditary succession for a future raving dyke of a lesbian muff-licking Queen (Amazon dynasty) ‘if’ her first born progeny is the product of artificial insemination.

Laugh you might, believing the world couldn’t get any dafter with speculation and debate on such academic conundrums as Scientific Creationism, ontological proof of the existence of God, String Theory, the existence of the Higgs-Boson - and who the fuck is going to win the next ‘I’m a Celebrity’ contest - but the Upper House has a well-deserved reputation for being complete waste of time and simply serves as a doss pit for influence-peddling scumbags who picked up a life peerage for their political crimes.

Here – amongst others - Lord Peter Scandalson of the Fudgers (aka Vermin in Ermine) comes immediately to mind as the type of bottom feeder who signs in every weekday morning to collect his £300 quid tax-free daily attendance allowance before allegedly legging it down to some low life guest house pederast hang-out near Barnes Common for a spot of kiddie fiddling.

Thus we are stricken with a crew of House of Lords tosspots given to thinking up stupid schemes and asinine ideas that will surpass the moronic content of their last stupid idea, and led by Tory peer Lord Teddy True of the Numptys believe gay marriage legislation and the techniques and ethics of artificial insemination dictate that the law of succession needs to be updated to prepare for a married lesbian Queen who conceives using donor sperm from one of their European mongrel relatives belonging to the Herzogtum Sachsen-Coburg und Gotha / Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg blue blood shape-shifting lizard lineage.

Conversely the gay rights charity Backs-to-the-Wall was not impressed, with chief executive Ben Bummerskill informing a press hack from the Iron Hoof Gazette that "These old fogey members of the House of Lords need to shut the fuck up as it’s Parliament’s job to sort out the ‘Succession To The Crown Bill’ which could, if ratified and passed, allow the first-born daughter of a monarch to become Queen - and further lift the historic Tudor era ban on Roman Catholics acceding to the throne.”

So, if it isn’t complicated enough already with the inbred mutant crew of royal parasites like the bat-eared Prince Chazzer – aka the Royal Plant Whisperer - sucking the life’s blood out of the hapless taxpaying common herd, now we’ve got to accommodate rug-munching monarchs and their Sapphic sisters – and create roles such as Keeper of the Royal Godemiché.

But there’s nowt queerer than folk and nothing new in history when we consider the number of closet case and self-outed bum-fucking kings that have held the reins of power over the centuries – with the most recent that also-ran Wally Simpson – a bisexual ‘both ways’ swinger – almost becoming ‘Queen Wally the First – but settled for Mrs Bessie ‘Wallis’ Warfield Spencer Simpson-Windsor when the Mk VIII model Edward abdicated to facilitate his marriage to the troll.

Rumours are rampant in regal whistle-blowing circles that Wally used to give hubby Edward aka ‘David’ / Duke of Windsor one up the bum with her strapon dildo when not otherwise engaged in a ménage et trios with her Moroccan maid and the well-hung US Marine Snotty Bowers – a constant house guest at their Le Moulin de la Tuilerie mansion home.

Thought for the day. So it’s any fucker’s guess how that projected ‘fantasy’ scenario of Lord True’s will go down with the PTB – especially considering what happened to Princess Di’ when she became too much of a proverbial populist pain in the arse, dissing land mines and then getting up the duff with Dodo al Fayed’s sprog – hence targeted for assassination in the engineered Pont de l’Alma tunnel car smash, and the foetus sliced out of her gut, with mother and child murdered in a Satanic sacrifice ritual in the back of a SAMU ambulance by one of France’s secret handshake club surgeons, Dr Freddy Maillez, while en route to the Pitié-Salpêtrière Hospital.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

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