New Labour Zionists Fire Muslim Peer

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The New Labour Party’s pro-Zionist wunderkind leader Ed ‘Junior’ Millipede has suspended Lord Ahmed of Vodaphone pending an investigation into anti-Semitic remarks allegedly made by the Muslim peer who blames Jewish-owned media organisations for his imprisonment relating to a dangerous driving offence.

Previously the Minister for Texts and holding the road safety portfolio in Tony Bliar’s Iraq war cabinet, the paranoid delusional Ahmed has now gone on the public record, informing one gutter press hack from the red top Conspiracy Gazette tabloid that he blames the Rothshite bankster crime syndicate and the kikester bosses of newspapers and TV channels over his imprisonment for causing death by dangerous driving.

Obviously suffering what clinical psychologists refer to as ‘denial syndrome’ Ahmed is refusing to blame his own stupidity for reading and answering a series of texts on his cellphone while driving down the Rotherham stretch of the M1 at twice the speed of light in his X-Factor type Jag’ on Christmas Day, 2007 - when he was in a fatal collision with a disorientated jaywalker, Martin Gumby, whose car had broken down on the hard shoulder and was attempting to invoke a sense of Xmas spirit in other drivers and thumb a lift to the next motorway services.

Ahmed was jailed for a slap-on-the-wrist 12 weeks in 2008 for texting several messages on his cellphone while at the wheel and travelling at a speed referred to by the Plod Squad’s motorway patrol as ‘very, very fast’ – then freed by the Court of Appeal after serving a mere 16 days of the sentence due his cries of foul and anti-Muslim sentiments and being a victim of post-9/11 Islamophobia for offering a £10 million quid bounty for the heads of US Presidents George Dubya Bush and Barky O’Barmy over their ZioNazi-conspired war crimes against Pan-Islam.

Rabbi Shylock Scattstein, chief executive of the Board of Deputies of Whingeing Jewish Victims Club, told reporters "We are appalled by Lord Ahmed's alleged comments which come across as an even worst Jewish conspiracy theory than the forged Protocols of the Greedy Bastard Elders of Zion.”

In a statement the New Labour Party’s spokeswoman Fellattia Titwank told a gaggle of media hacks outside the Brewers Green HQ that “This is no longer the days of Harold Wilson and Stoker Jim Callaghan running things and approving a policy of ‘yid-kicking’.”

“We now have a Jewish leader and young Ed, while only wearing his kiss curls and a kippah when it suits his purposes, will not tolerate any sort of racism or anti-Semitism or Holohoax denial – or his MPs raising questions in the House of Conmans over the racist Israeli government’s despicable human rights record regarding their treatment of the Palestinian populations in the occupied West Bank or Gaza Strip, besieged behind that nasty 30-foot high Great Apartheid Wall. So everyone might as well get it through their thick skulls as criticism of Israel is Mesira – forbidden!”

To wit, Ahmed claims he was targeted for retribution by the rogue Israeli state’s racist Knesset government of PM Bobo Nuttyahoo due his public support for the Palestinian cause and visiting Gaza.
Regardless, however outlandish and incredible Ahmed’s allegations, there will always be gullible or malicious individuals or groups that will accept his accusations at face value, adding to the growth of anti-Semitic discourse and the historic one-size-fits-all expedient pogrom-generator of ‘blame the Jews’.

Okay, we’re all aware of the pantomime act anti-Semitism and Holohoax denial hasbara, hudaibiya and chutzpah bullshit that the career Zionist Khazar-Ashkenazi kikesters of convenience bandy about to defend their right to have stolen Palestine from the rightful, historic owners back in 1948 - on the fairy tale premise that they are God’s Chosen People, no less, and Palestine (plus a lot more) is their Promised Land.

But Ahmed pushing the Protocols scam and this insidious Jewish conspiracy theory is going a mite too far - blaming them for getting him convicted of a driving offence as he’s a Muslim and criticised their illegal settlements in the occupied West Bank, comparing them to the previous white South African racist regime’s apartheid Bantustans.

Yet there again, hatred of the Jews might just be an ingrained part of Western Christian culture – not only due their usurious, money-grubbing tendencies and devotions before the idol of the Golden Calf and altar of Mammon, but fact they’re very nasty to the Palestinians – and their hi-fiving Mossad removals men were involved in the molecular dissociation destruction of the World Trade Centre Towers on 9/11 – but principally – and this has got to be the all-time clincher – they were personally responsible for the crucifixion of Jesus Christ – God’s one begotten son – and for that criminal act none of them are going to Heaven – ever.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

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