Friday, 1 March 2013

UK Pushing Anti-Terrorist Scam

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The gospel according to an ad’ on Smooth Radio this morning, the semi-comatose British public are being exhorted to trust their inner child ‘scared of the dark’ paranoia instincts and report the first signs of suspicious behaviour by their Muslim neighbours to the National Anti-Terrorist Hotline immediately – if not sooner.

Officialdom claims such I-Spy participation by the public is required to thwart the plans of Big Al Qa’eda’s Jolly Jihad suicide bombers before they get chance to air their ‘righteous indignation’ for getting blamed over the 9/11 false flag attacks - and so much since – then detonate their trainers or skiddies in a sub-nuclear weapons of mass distraction fireball in the middle of a packed Brummystan bingo hall on a Saturday afternoon – or fly a hijacked passenger jet into the Qatari-owned London Shard – the latest Tower of Babel architectural monstrosity to blight the Metropolitan landscape.

Since the ‘Irish terrorist question’ seems to have died a natural death with the likes of the Real IRA, False IRA, Provos, Sinn Fein and a gaggle of other spud-munching bomb chuckers too numerous to mention collectively losing interest in suffering the discomforts of a Ryanair flight to London with the sole intention of blowing up one of the Guinness World Book of Big Bangs editors - to justify their exaggerated existence – and budgets - and avoid copping a mortal career wound from the whetted blade of the Con-Dems austerity measures chopper - the MI5 and MI6 security services have resorted to fielding a ‘Grass up your local Terrorists’ alert campaign.

This national radio and television media Islamophobia offensive being broadcast across the length and breadth of our once-sceptred isle is aimed not only at raising the kitten-shitting hysteria levels of a tabloid and telly brainwashed common herd already spaced out on Prozac and Valium – and White Lightning cider - but their awareness of what sneaky Muslim types can get up to with a litre of peroxide and a bag of black pepper – and we’re not talking about cooking up some haemorrhoid-scorching hot curries here either.

While containing nary a mention of thirty pieces of silver reward for a decent tip-off, the half-hourly persistent parroted announcements implore the proletariat voters of our panopticon surveillance state to be good citizens and turn into super grasses and Billy the Snitch – as that one vital piece of information could disrupt a major terrorist plot and save lives.
So if you see a yellow and black ‘Danger: Radioactive Materials’ bag hanging out of Mrs Achmed’s wheelie bin and glowing in the dark, then get straight on the blower to your local terrorist watch centre.

As the annoying ad’s go: “Chances are it’s probably nothing ... 'but' ... there again it might just be ... that’s why we have a team of specialist officers - our ‘terrorism gurus’ - who know exactly what to do and make split second decisions – such as ‘Shoot the Brazilian Electrician!’ – before he can mend Mrs Achmed’s blown fuse and she starts up the covert centrifuges in her basement again, enriching uranium to weapons grade 90%+ U-235 level.”

The government’s Paranoia Broadcast Service campaign further provides the public with examples of suspicious activity and aberrant behaviour to enable them to ‘Spot the Terrorist’ at a glance.
The Met’s Anti-Terrorist Squad chief, Commissioner Cressida Knobhead, informed one press hack from the Xenophobia Gazette that “Perhaps it might be some shufty bint who hangs her washing out dressed in a burka – and is actually a cross-dressing al Qa’eda operative – or maybe just one of your Muslim neighbours that you don’t particularly like – but report them anyway.”

“This could be some one-eyed Middle Eastern type with a grungy beard - and coat hanger hook for a hand - loitering around the local mosque – or Canary Wharf - and trying to look like he’s a constructive member of Posh Dave Scameron’s multicultural Big Society. But never lose sight of the fact these people aren’t even Christians and like George Dubya Bush and Tony Bliar told us: ‘They hate out democratic freedoms’. Amen.”

“Don’t forget, one itty-bit of information could be crucial in helping disrupt the peace of an entire Muslim neighbourhood – just to let them know MI6 are still watching. So go on, report the twats, just to be on the safe side and our team of trained experts will decide if it’s the real thing – a weapons of mass distraction incident – or just another bunch of the Israeli Mossad’s high-fiving removals men and art students pulling another of their false flag pranks – like 9/11 and 7/7.”

“What’s more, who really gives a flying fuck if a crew of the Met’s SO19 Armed Response Unit thugs get it wrong and blow Grandma Patel away on Stockton Tube Station instead of Mohammed al Patsy and his gang of Shaheed Semtex Suicide Vest Brigade – as long as they all end up suicided inside one of MI5’s big black North Face holdalls in the middle of the David Kelly Memorial Woods at the end of the day.”

“So if you have a suspicion that Muslim groups in your area may be involved in contaminating our Greedy Grocer supermarket microwave-ready meals with horsemeat then sent us a Tweet or e-mail – or phone us direct to the ‘Scaremongers’ Anti-Terrorist Hotline and we’ll be down on their case faster than shit though a goose.

Thought for the day. So much for peace on Earth when the Zionist military-industrial conglomerates are forcing the hand of their stooge governments to run campaigns to demonise Islam and arouse the hibernating hatreds of its Muslim worshippers.

Fuck the Freemasons and the poxy Jesuits and Opus Dei and the Edomite Mafia - and Big Brother – and his sister – and the New World Order.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy and/or squirrel shit.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

No shit, that's a brilliant piece of satire. laughed me socks off.
bet the security services love u. LOL's.