Dobby Pulls Royal Hypocrisy Stunt

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Last Sunday His Royal Dobbiness, Chazzer, the Prince of Wales, wearing the regal Cloak of Utter Hypocrisy and accompanied by his chain-smoking troll of a consort, Gorgonzilla, the Duchess of Broomsticks, pontificated to millions of viewers on BBC1’s Countryfile programme on the curse of ‘urban sprawl’ and the core issues involved with working in harmony alongside Mother Nature and embracing the philosophy of the Gaia Principle for the benefit of generations yet to come.

No sooner had the bar-eared Dobby finished publicly intoning the usual bullshit sound bite mantra about his role as a ‘Plant Whispering’ guru and protecting the countryside from the Philistine ilk of the Tory’s ginger-mingin ex-Minister for Firewood, Caroline Spelman – she of the Desperate Dan chin - who attempted to sell off the national woodlands of our once-secptred isle for profit to the Sahara Forest Trading Company – than the Daily Shitraker carried an expose revealing plans to build a vast housing estate on part of the Duchy of Cornwall’s cherished pastures.

Chazzer, a self-delusional inbred mutant member of the Herzogtum Sachsen-Coburg und Gotha / Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg blue blood shape-shifting lizard clan – and chairman of the Duchy - likes to promote himself as an ‘organic guru’ and the custodian of rural Britain, declaring to any and all interested in his duplicitous waffle and egoistic blather that “We need to think about what kind of world we’re handing on to our successors” – with nary a mention about the Duchy’s money-spinning scam of ‘concreting over the countryside’ to build 1,000 houses on a 103 acre greenfields site in a spectacular pristine valley at the heart of Thomas Hardy country, close to Dorchester.

A further row has erupted with Bolshie tree-huggers over the Duchy’s plans to build 100 houses, a supermarket, a toxins-spewing recycling plant and a Cornish food hall (pasty and chips) on a 50-acre dairy herd greenfields site near Truro – passed off by Dobby as ‘sustainable development’.

The Duchy’s history dates back to its creation in 1337 by Edward III for his son, Edward Rastus, the Black Prince, and to provide an income for future Princes of Wales for all eternity. Typical of Broken Britain’s double standard anomalies where royalty is concerned, the Duchy’s incomes are – unlike regular property companies - exempt from capital gains tax – covering a total of 136,000 acres, encompassing land in 22 counties — from the Scilly Billy Isles through the West Country to Herefordshire, Lincolnshire, Nottinghamshire, South Glamorgan, Cambridgeshire and Wiltshire.

The vast sweep cuts across priceless acres of London, and includes surprisingly diverse freeholds, from the Oval cricket ground to Dartmoor Prison and the iconic Elm Guest House on Barnes’ Pederast Lane – a favourite hang-out for Tory cabinet ministers and like-minded secret handshake brotherhood low life pondscum.

Bev McSkanger, director of the Twat-Watch charity, opined to media hacks that “Chazzer’s Duchy is a business wot’s got a mob of privileges an’ influence-peddlin’ an’ name-droppin’ clout that’s not available ter other developers – like the fact he’s an effin’ prince an’ his Mum’s the Queen an’ what-have-yer.”

“So we need ter be clear on this an’ all Dobby’s bullshit about bein’ anti-urban sprawl and sustainable development when at heart he worships Mammon, the God of Materialism an’ comes across as a total fuckin’ hypocrite an’ just another environmental pillager when yer see he’s got a housin’ estate development in the pipeline on 250 acres east of rural Newquay wiv plannin’ permission ter build 3,250 homes worth up ter £10 billion quid.”

Thought for the day. Hmmm, organic farming fetish besides – in light of this expose then obviously Dobby’s dishing out lashings of real bullshit.
Oh well, that’s the royal retard / mongrel result the blue blood lines get from centuries of swimming at the shallow end of the gene pool and interbreeding with their slack-jawed relatives.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

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