Tory Bid to Scrap EU Human Rights Act

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Voicing their concerns regarding the duplicitous Posh Dave Scameron and his Nasty Party’s intention to scrap the Human Rights & Wrongs Act, Librarian-Dummercrat activists used the opportunity of the spring party conference in Brighton-on-Boredom to get on the public record by re-emphasising a collective determination to resist all such efforts by their insidious Tory coalition partners.

Scabby Acrobati, a Lib-Dum activist and director of the civil rights group Kunt-Watch, had this to say to media hacks: “Never mind the official bullshit line of ‘It doesn’t really matter if they do scrap it as the act’s not worth the paper it’s written on’ - for if the PTB want you out of the picture then you’re simply going to end up as yet another exsanguinated corpse to be discovered suicided, propped against a tree and pissed on by dogs in the David Kelly Memorial Woods - or as good as dead in the back of a Mercedes limo in the Pont de l’Alma tunnel - or suffer a fatal coronary while hiking on Ben Stack – or found asphyxiated and padlocked inside one of MI5’s big black North Face holdalls.”

“Er sorry, rather it ‘does matter’ when we have government agencies – or their Renta Thug for hire proxies - pulling a David Copperfield magician act – or in their case a Tommy Cooper snafu - and making people disappear.”

“For Christ’s sake, even with the Human Rights & Wrongs Act and Parliamentary Oversight Committees we still have whistleblowers leaking reports that taxpayer funded government departments concealing information from us – specifically instances like New Labour’s Tony Bliar shutting down media coverage of the Operation Ore child porno’ investigation – and now the Plod Squad and all this Yewtree and Fernbridge bullshit that certain elements of the force knew about the accusations of pervo cabinet ministers and randy royals such as Dirty Dickie Mountbatten bumming little boys at Carole Kasir’s Elm Guest House back in the 1970’s but didn’t have the evidence to proceed.”

“What a load of old codswallop – they knew who, where and when, but the word came down from on high to bury the story and hide the truth – just the same as the BBC (British Coverups Corp) did with the Savile scandal. The Tory Home Secretary, Lord Leon Brittan of Spenditall – rumoured to be another Secret Handshake Club fudging paedo - was handed an actual dossier naming the elitists scumsters involved in the kiddie fiddling ring and binned it – and is now pulling the selective memory card and saying he has no recollection of MP Geoffrey Dickens giving him any dossier.”

“So it was never a matter of mishandled complaints or missed opportunities – this was a deliberate and criminal act of perverting the course of justice by the upper echelons of government and the security services – with a compliant police force there to serve the interests of the landed gentry and political elitists, doing what they’ve always done best – Sit, Shake a Paw, Roll over, Fetch, Now play dead – Good Plod.”

“And before any sod starts blurting on about this being a ‘conspiracy theory’ then they’ve hit it on the head – that’s exactly what occurred – and still is happening to this very day – a conspiracy of silence and the perversion of justice.”
“Really, just look at these Yewtree and Fernbridge inquiries. What has been uncovered? That a group of deceased political types and geriatric celebs were into child molesting – and does nobody find it the slightest bit conspicuous that nary a single living, compos mentis offender is still around to spill the beans on their sodomite paedo pals?”

Conversely, and Lib-Dum opposition besides, the Tory Justice Secretary Chris Graything, formerly Shadow Minister for Hedgehog Affairs, confided to a gutter press hack from the Fascists Gazette that the Conservative majority would repeal the Human Rights & Wrongs Act, regardless of Attorney General Dominic Grieve maintaining there’s no question of the UK withdrawing from the convention – or the Conservative’s coalition partners swearing on a pick and mix stack of Bibles, Korans and Torahs to defend the inviolate sanctity of such to the death.

Graything, the incumbent Tory MP for Epsom Salts and known around the House of Conmans as Ian Duncan Smith’s ‘Mini-Me’ clone, claims that abolishing the Act, which enshrines the European Convention on Human Rights in domestic law, will be a primary objective in the Tories 2015 election manifest.

“I personally can’t conceive of a situation where we could put forward a serious reform without scrapping New Labour’s moronic Human Rights & Wrongs Act and starting again from the basic statutes of the 1215 edition of Magna Carta.”
“We cannot go on with a situation where these Jolly Jihad Club Muslim types - who present a clear and present danger to our national security by coming to Britain just to diss our democratic freedoms - are able to call up some ambulance-chasing no-win / no fee compo lawyer and take the government to court citing their human rights have been abused after MI5 go round and toss their houses for weapons of mass distraction and give them a bit of a kicking - or waterboard their sprogs to force them to talk.”

A majority of Tory MPs want to ditch the EUSSR Convention well before the 2015 election, arguing that the Strasbourg court’s meddling in the British justice system is over-riding the sovereignty of Parliament after they ruled the Con-Dem’s blanket ban on prisoner suffrage is illegal – and Posh Dave Scameron responding that scally inmates will not be given the vote as they are a bunch of low-life Bolshie criminal oicks who invariably vote for New Labour or UKIP just to upset the status quo.

While Deputy PM Nick Clegg (another frog who dreams of being a toad) and his Lib-Dums have sworn to veto any such move by the Tories, as a compromise ‘the Coalition’ set up a panel back in 2010 to tinker around with the convention per se and conjure up a British Bill of Rights.
However, and quite typically, after 19 months and £700,000 quid of taxpayers’ money squandered, the academic panel of career arse-scratchers and nose-pickers was branded as fatally flawed from the feet up when it produced its half-baked findings which condemned both Capitalism and Democracy as unsustainable socio-political systems and recommended adopting a Hitlerian Fascist philosophy to keep the common herd in line – seen but not heard.

Thought for the day. Regardless of all the human rights and wrongs waffle, if Posh Dave Scameron doesn’t give the common herd a one-off ‘IN or OUT’ vote on continued EUSSR membership then his political days – along with the Tory Party’s days in office - are numbered.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

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