Tory Lies ‘Not’ Sustainable Resource

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Canny street smart political observers point the fickle finger of fate this week as the UK’s media stooges are forced to acknowledge the fact that Conservative Party bullshit has reached ‘peak production level’ after less than three years and is in terminal decline – with Tory PM Posh Dave Scameron’s pledge to the hapless disabled members of our tits-up society that they would be exempt from Chancellor Osborne’s impending toxic ‘bedroom tax’ being exposed as more at scent than substance now the truth comes back to bite him squarely in the arse.

Posh Dave’s magnanimous false promises regarding the spare room subsidy besides, Candida McSkanger, a 16-year old mother of three from south London’s Landfill Hamlets ‘sink or swim’ social housing estate, has received a letter ordering her to pay £60 quid per month extra for the spare carer’s room in her three-bed semi which has been specially-adapted so eldest son Quasimodo can receive 24/7 nursing supervision to control his incessant Numpty Syndrome head banging tantrums.

But on her welfare benefits that’s an increase Candida can’t afford, even if she goes out flogging her golly morning, noon and night - hence Quasi’ will have to go into full-time residential care at a cost to the taxpayer of £4,000 a week. So how’s that for a lack of penny wise / pound foolish common sense on the part of the Department for Works & Pensions?

However Candida’s only one of the 660,000 social housing tenant families with disabled children that are going to be slapped with bedroom tax bills of £14 nicker a week – quite fittingly scheduled to come into force on April Fools’ Day.

Now here we see this star-crossed Con-Dem Coalition of a circus without a tent fiasco for what it really is – the right hand hasn’t a fucking clue what the left hand is doing. The National Ill-Health Service are trashing junk food and telling every fucker and their dog to stick with a 5-a-day diet, while the Chancellor and Department of Works & Pensions are collectively freezing salaries, hiking taxes and slashing benefits – with the common herd unable to afford even a portion of their traditional 1-a-day meat pie and chips.

Moreover, Scameron comes across as a myopic tosser with no concept of the paradox involved when making his exemption statement to disabled parents – while the Nasty Party’s DWP Secretary Iain Duncan Smith, former Minster for Hedgehog Affairs and founder of his constituency’s Chigley & Camberwick Green Halitosis Club, is busy fighting a rear guard legal action by disabled bedroom tax victims under human rights laws – with ten test cases scheduled to be heard before the High Court in May – and rabid packs of ambulance-chasing lawyers rightly claiming the disabled are being discriminated against.

Oh yes, dontcha just love it when the supercilious Tories get caught out and impaled on their own boasts. But it’s about time Scameron, Duncan Smith and Osborne stopped believing in Father Christmas or the myth that wood grows on trees – and instead realise that the unpredictable divergences of the Chaos Theory equation are not supposed to be applied to formulating strategies to steer Britain’s national economy towards the light at the end of the tunnel – especially so when that ‘light’ might be the harbinger of further fiscal disasters coming from the other direction at a geometric rate of knots.

So how do we restore Broken Britain’s economy to health? For starters get shut of this incompetent bunch of dog wankers in Downing Street - and don’t let the New Labour bodgers anywhere near the piggy bank either - after Gordon Broon and Alistair Darling’s 13 year fubar of a Money-Go-Round spend-a-thon. For fuck’s sake that pair even borrowed money off Wonga and the Ripoffs-R-Us
payday loan sharks.

Downing Street need to give their Zionist crime syndicate funding masters the finger and call a timely halt to this ‘foreign aid commitments’ bullshit and pull out of the EUSSR – and be like sensible shoes Switzerland and not get involved with such a moronic European Federation / single currency concept – especially one that was originally Hitler’s bright spark idea.
To wit, we stop supporting the shameless hedonistic lifestyles of the Brussels kleptocrats and start focusing on mending ‘Broken’ Britain as the graft and corruption-ridden 27-member state behemoth heads full pelt towards a monetary Eurogeddon.

Plus no more aid to Third World basket case dumps nor meddling in wars of foreign aggression with the shitbag Israeli kikesters and the Great Satan - and cut the austerity measures slashing social welfare benefits – and start filling in the fucking potholes with Tarmite or whatever instead of having some local council highways department jobsworth spraying a circle of white paint around them - before a double decker bus disappears down one.

As to the ‘bedroom tax’ conundrum affecting families with a disabled / special needs member - well perhaps they might prefer Posh Dave Scameron out and Cornwall’s Eugenics Party councillor Ron McTosser in his place.

McTosser was forced to resign last month after opening gob before engaging brain and publicly stating to a disability charity campaigner that gimps with limps and other special needs children cost the council too much money and should be put down, just like the Nazis did with their highly cost-effective euthanasia programme that got rid of Germany’s window lickers and useless eaters – which he personally would like to see extended to include the unemployed, the homeless – and any other unproductive members of our society – along with the hordes of pikey and gyppo benefit scroungers migrants from the EUSSR.

However, not quite the approach for politicians intending to make friends and influence people – or win votes.

Thought for the day. Okay readers, as the Con-Dem Coalition and too New Labour, UKIP, the BNP, the Greenies - the whole schlemiel in fact - are clueless on how to solve our once-sceptred isle’s GNP deficit and awry balance of payments, why not submit your ideas using the online reply form below and you too could win a life-sized replica of Ian Duncan Smith’s brain – mounted in an eggcup.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.