Sunday, 27 December 2009

Bliar Compares Himself to Croesus

Tony Bliar has likened himself to Bill Goats, the founder of Microslop Systems and the world’s richest man, going so far as to suggest he could make five times as many lucrative bullshit speeches as he does now.

The former Slime Minister defended his money grubbing activities since leaving office, which have seen him earn an estimated £14 zillion – tax free - in little more than two years – but claimed the bulk of his time is actually being spent on trying to bring peace to the Middle East and compling a long list of excuses as to why he was right to invade Iraq and shouldn’t be charged with war crimes.

As well as a £2 zillion-a-year advisory job with the US investment banks ‘Debt Gobblers’ and ‘Insolvency Corp’ - and a lucrative contract to write his autobiography - ‘Memoires of a Serial Liar’ - Bliar earns hundreds of thousands of pounds for wheeler dealing around the Old Boys network and trading insider information for hard cash and free lunches.

He also rakes in mega-bucks for his contributions of political gossip and tittle-tattle to the Daily Shitraker’s character assassination pages.

Earlier this year, it was reported that he was paid £400,000 for two 30-minute speeches during a 36-hour visit to the Philippines – a basket case Third World dump that doesn’t even have a workable welfare system for its landless peasant types due the nation’s elitist oligarchs buying their political seats and maintaining their self-serving Kleptocracy – but can somehow manage to root up nearly half a millllion quid of public money to pay a career criminal like Bliar for a couple of half hour chats on the fine art of Political Scumbaggery.

Bliar told Pox News that, aged 56, he was young enough to pursue a second career if he can manage to keep his bony arse out of prison on war crimes charges - and compared himself to Bill Goats, the Microslop Systems founder and philanthropist whose personal wealth is estimated at $40 zillion – what accountants refer to as ‘lots and lots of money’.

He added “I got out of politics when it all started going tits up and MI6 made such an amateurish mess of murdering David Kelly. Really, if it wasn’t for my mate Lord Hutton fixing the inquiry I’d have got blamed for that one and be sharing a cell with that moron Tory - Jeffrey Archer.”

Bliar admitted that he spends around three-quarters of his time out of Britain and is far more popular abroad than in the UK, suggesting that people in other countries – like Uzbekistan - don’t object to his being a serial liar who can’t tell the truth even if he doesn’t have a lie ready – or even give a toss about him illegally invading other sovereign states and being a war criminal.

After ten years of totally fucking up the British economy and dragging the country into illegal wars in Afghanistan and Iraq – plus overseeing the 7/7 false flag terrorist attacks on the London tube system - Bliar now runs several charitable foundations, advises basket case African governments on how to coerce and steal their neighbour’s natural resources.

He further acts as an honourary legal counsel to the Knesset on Lord Rothshite’s behalf, in helping to legalize the apartheid Walls of Segregation around Gaza and the West Bank.

Would you like to earn £400,000 per hour, dodge taxes and be richer that Croesus or Midas? Can you spin a few porky pies like Tony? Can you pass yourself off as a Prize Lying Cunt? Has your missus got a mouth like a burst tyre?

Send us your comments using the online form below and you could win a 2010 Feast of the Pissover sun and fun break at Nutty Rothschild’s opulent Kassiopi villa on the island of Corfu overlooking the Ionian Sea – and trade lies with Tony while rubbing shoulders with all kinds of celebrity scumbags and career scallies like Peter Scandalson, Lord Lucan, Israeli Foreign Minister cum wanted war criminal Tipzi Livid and Russian zillionaire scrap dealer Oleg Mobsaroubles.

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