Big Brother Targets Kindergarten Radicals

The UK’s Big Brother think tanks at Chatham House and the Tavistock Institute have now - in their superior wisdom - ordained nursery-age children should be monitored for signs of Pavlovian brainwashing by Islamist extremists - according to a leaked police memo left in a trashcan at Hyde Park’s Whistleblower’s Corner – with copies being passed on to the Daily Snitch and the Grassers Gazette.

Civil rights groups have been swift in delivering lashings of criticism on the measures, declaring that under New Labour's surveillance state everyone is treated as a potential suspect – even pre-schoolers – and further citing the foul Catholic Jesuit credo of “Give us the child until seven and we’ll give you the man.”

The leaked police report originated with an e-mail to Common Purpose training officers across the UK from MI6’s ‘False Flag’ counter-terrorism unit which stated “It has become imperative that you now inform on all persons, of whatever age, you consider have been radicalised or be vulnerable to radicalisation by the mad mullah beardie types.”

“This includes anyone old enough to start thinking for themselves - or anyone who views the UK House of Conmans to be a corrupt institution - or our new EUSSR Parliament in Brussels to be totalitarian or fascist just because they have assumed dictatorial powers.”

However Sir Norman Bormann, who drafted the Labour government’s anti-terror strategy, claimed the e-mail was a “clumsy” counterfeit attempt by Islamic radical shit-stirring scallies to provoke controversy and illuminate their position to be ‘holier than thou’, and one of ‘victims’ more so than ‘radical terrorists’.

Conversely Mohammed al Jaffacake, MP for Peckhamstan, told Pox News “This is all yet another attempt to muddy the waters of the oasis and make we Muslim blokes look bad.”
“The Whitehall Zionist propaganda merchants are all Rothshite’s running dogs and declare that we hate the West’s ‘Democratic freedoms’.”

“This is simply so much rubbish – we love your Democratic freedoms - and cricket.”
“Back in the semi-desert shitholes we came from we cannot enjoy nice tasty bacon and sausage sandwiches, gamble in casinos, hump the blonde hooker that lives down the road, drink pints of Bitch Thumper lager in the local pub or scream our heads off at a soccer match on a Saturday afternoon.”

“Oh no, anything like that and you get dragged before a Sharia court and stoned or your cock chopped off for bonking a goat. Here you can go out and mug some old lady for her pension and all you get is a couple of hours community service.”

“So may Allah bless the UK – and Tony Bliar can invade and bomb our dumps of countries all he wants.”

Nevertheless, police insiders with a grudge to massage confirmed it was now accepted gospel that radicalisation can take place from the age of four years of age, and counter-terrorist officers specially trained in identifying children and young people vulnerable to radicalisation were visiting nursery schools in predominantly Muslim areas after one seven-year old Birmingham girl was discovered playing with a scantily-clad ‘Burka Barbie’ remodelled as a 'Houri of Paradise' by her Auntie Fatima - a militant Hamas supporter.

One further top secret Home Office document discovered on a London bendy bus disclosed, meanwhile, that a five-year-old has become the youngest child to feature in a scheme to tackle grooming by Jolly Jihadi Muslim extremists and was one of 228 people targeted in the ‘Channel Project’ - part of the ‘Prevent’ programme focused on shifty immigrant types wearing bedsheets.

The HO report states that the five-year-old boy in question was referred for "deprogramming" to one of the UK’s PFI outsource project ‘extraordinary rendition’ centres in Uzbekistan after it was discovered he had named his pet hamsters after Hezbollah and Hamas martyrs and kitted them all out with make-believe mini- suicide bomber vests.