Global Warming Scam Kicked in Ass

For our Happy New Year ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Regardless of the New World Order’s Greenpeace stooges holding out their habitual begging bowl for ‘Season of Goodwill’ donations by fielding a Save Santa Claus Home campaign, both the North and South polar icecaps were in all truth and reality at a 35-year high in the run-up to Christmas – with Antarctica logging the lowest temperature ever recorded on the planet at minus 135.8 degrees Fahrenheit – which in scientific jargon is referred to as being ‘very, very cold’ – and by the Met Office’s beardies and anoraks as ‘brass monkey weather’.

Hence it comes as a severely ironic kick in the ass when the M/V Akademik Shitoutalucksky research vessel assigned to the Australasian Antarctic Expedition and currently stationed in the ‘brass monkey’ area of the Southern Ocean to study the negative effects of anthropogenic (man-made) global warming on the now ice-bound continent of Lemuria, has become immobilised and frozen in by a four metre wall of ice.
Further, much to the discomfort and embarrassment of the seventy-four scientists, crew and fare-paying tourists aboard the blighted vessel, they’re surrounded by mega-flocks of mocking penguins out for a Yuletide good laugh at the stupid human’s paradoxical predicament.

So far attempts by Australian, Chinese and French icebreakers to free the stranded vessel have been thwarted by the extreme freezing conditions that seem to be spitefully ignoring Al Gore’s faux global warming warnings – once again being hyped around the global stock market bourses in an attempt to sell the shifty Shylock bankster’s carbon emission credits cap n trade exchange to a world of sceptics now tossed off with being force fed manipulated propaganda regarding aberrant climate change being caused by human activity (chemtrails / HAARP?) and not that gigantic fiery yellow ball of capricious electro-magnetic dynamism at the epicentre of our solar system – namely ‘the Sun’.

To counter the non-cooperative weather pattern elements associated with global warming we have Broken Britain’s Rothshite crime syndicate / Edomite Mafia-run Con-Dem Coalition government’s cross-party Environmental Audit Committee now juggling a not fit for purpose Climate Change Act ‘and’ a political brownie points Energy Bill – the implementation of which will change the definition of key poverty indicators and, faster than shit through a goose, reduce by a factor of 30% the number of English households currently tagged as ‘fuel-poor’ from 3.2 million to 2.4 million – a sleight of hand trick learned from Jobcentre Plus statistics manipulation of unemployment figures.

Conversely, the real numbers for the here and now, released by the Office of Statistical Guessology this week, reveal the effects of policies designed to tackle climate change (higher energy prices) resulted in 31,000 ‘excess’ deaths across England and Wales last winter, double that of the previous year – with all being, in effect, old age pensioners who died of the cold ( read ‘due lack of affordable heating’) – in preference to croaking at the hands of inept and apathetic NHS staff, and falling victim to the Liverpool Care Pathway euthanasia scheme.

The arse-scorching killer heat wave of 2003 was blamed for 2,000 deaths and treated as a national emergency. Sir David King Kong, PM Tony Bliar’s appointed chief scientific officer - and to his undying shame a peak oil con’ job proponent and supporter of uber-hypocrite carbon footprint alarmist Al Bore – declared for the public record this meant that global warming was more of a danger to public health than the threat of MI5’s false flag terrorist operations.

Since King’s 2003 Chicken Little scaremongering proclamation and regardless of community ‘Wooly Knit-a-Thons’ expedited by groups of Grannies, some 280,000 elderly British citizens have died from the chilling effects of frigid conditions / hypothermia in their own front rooms – while a mere sixteen pensioner types were recorded as snuffing it as a result of global warming – fifteen due to dehydration when the mid-summer temperatures soared to the 25 Centigrade mark - and one dumb fuck from nodding off to sleep in a care home sauna.

Hmmm, Energy Bills and Climate Change Acts besides, just wait for the adverse public reaction to the gas and electricity company monopolies hiking their tariffs to prohibitive, unaffordable rates when winter really kicks in and the local council authorities are propping frozen, penniless pensioners up against the car park wall at the crematorium to wait their turn to get a final warm up before going to the sunny Hereafter.

Of course, the start of the snap-frozen oldies dilemma kicked off when the Tory’s moronic Chancellor of the Exchequer, George ‘call me Jeff’ Osborne – a product of the Wilkins Micawber Institute of Economics - slashed £50 nicker off the pensioner’s winter fuel allowance - and to add insult to injury we have the sadistic Minister for Social Misery, Iain Dunkin-Shit, along with his deputy Nazi fascist accomplice, super-skanger Esther ‘Blonde Moment’ McVey, the Tory MP for Squirrels - revelling in a sense of schadenfreude as they jointly pare down welfare benefits for the old and needy to sweet fuck all – and any other poverty-stricken fucker and their dog - regardless of the hardships bestowed on the hapless heads of the victims of the Nasty Party’s austerity policies.

But the solution to the problem doesn’t involve quantum math – just common sense and the political will to make it work. Put the gas and electricity industries back under public ownership – nationalised non-profit organisations run for the public good and bollocks to these foreign money-grubbing extortionist power corporation monopolies and price-rigging cabals.

Plus put an abrupt end to these bottom feeding, bog-standard government quango appointees from Gluttony Associates and Greedmore Consultants raking in £200,000 quid bloated salaries plus expenses, telling us we need more horizon-blighting subsidised wind farms or that toxic fracking is the future – or it’s time to build a few more faulty Fuckupshima design nuclear power stations – and all the while being conflict-of-interest paid lobbyists for the very industries they’re supposed to be regulating – with the Tory’s own Defra Minister Owen ‘Cobblers’ Paterson is a perfect example of this lobbying duplicity.

Have these tossers got the public good at heart? Fuck no – they’re hell bent on imposing (read ‘inflicting’) carbon credit fascism on our collective heads via the route of faulty science - same as the East Anglia Uni’s flawed weather and climate data purposely manipulated with malice aforethought by ego-driven cretins to secure funding and grants – plus the odd thirty pieces of sordid silver back-handers.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.