Chinese Activist Jailed for Thinking

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

A secret court in the People’s Marxist Utopia of China (read: over-crowded, industrial toxic smog-bound Third World shithole) has sentenced the prominent human rights activist Xu Zhiyong to four years in prison for the crime of ‘critical thinking’ and having in his possession a CD disc with the songs of the banned Sino-rap group, Falun and the Gongs.

Xu Zhiyong, a lecturer at the Beijing University for Chopstick Science, is a founder of the radical NGO ‘Right to Ask Questions’ group and an active human rights and wrongs lawyer who, while being high as a kite on political rhetoric and rated a top dog go-getting anarchist and popular presence on various Chinese social media platforms, has a flawed grasp on the realities of history, plus a zero common sense rating, and deluded himself into believing that free speech and democracy might just take off in the Middle Kingdom – if someone shouted loud enough.

Xu, who ran a campaign that exposed the Beijing regime’s human rights and wrongs record as being on a par with Hitler’s or Idi Amin’s – or the ruthless rogue regime of Israel’s Bobo Nuttyahoo, appeared before a secret Beijing court last week where Presiding Judge Fuk Yew Tu handed down a guilty verdict on charges relating to acts of treason – by way of gathering crowds to disrupt public order.

Firebrand veteran of Tiananmen Square, Mr Pak Lunch, along with rebel academic Ms Sue Doku, suicidal self-harm activist Mr Kun Kare Less, Mrs Flip Flop Fong, Ms Fuk Mee and Mr Tic Tac Toe, all members of Xu’s informal grassroots group, the Pissed Off Citizens Movement, which has fielded the call for reforms and transparency in the workings of government, were snitched up by underground political mole and super-grass Qui Tam Twat – and are facing similar charges for exposing government corruption by the People’s Kleptocracy Party and organising ‘flash mob’ public meetings to protest against the ruling regime’s policy of political oppression.

Sentencing Xu Zhiyong to four years in the Smiley Face Organ Transplant Prison – a grotty gulag in the remote Wanking Province - to be re-educated as a model citizen, Judge Fuk Yew informed Xu’s defence lawyer, Mr Sum Dum Fuk, in typical Orwellian Newspeak that critical thinking and self-awareness are not desirable traits to be found in anyone who isn’t a Shaolin Buddhist monk, bound under the strictures of a Trappist style vow of silence.

Xu was grabbed by state security goons on secondment from the feared Snakehead Triad last week while making a public speech under cover of the regular afternoon smog bank outside the popular Pol Pot Insta-Noodles chew n spew takeaway in Beijing’s Happy Panda Park.

Wearing his customary ‘Tuidang’ (Fuck the Party) t-shirt from the trendy downtown Anarchist Boutique, Xu was proselytising to a gathering of Bolshie students to resist the state controlling every aspect of their entire mortal existence.

“If our minds didn’t conjure dreams, ambitions and achievable aspirations then we would be mentally stunted to deal with and overcome the legion of challenges and disappointments Life has the habit of throwing at us.”
“Move outside the orbit of the common herd – they are in a trance – sleep-walking – utterly comatose - and don't see anything wrong with this one child policy and forced abortions and sterilisations and criminals having their internal organs stolen. Unaware of anything that’s going on in the greater scheme of things in the big, wide world. They are content and distracted, completely disconnected from the world that sustains them with a bowl of rice a day. They have no understanding of this. They think their state of disconnection is actually being connected. And what are they connected to? The mass media. The goggle box celebrity crap and reality television.”

“This corrupt Politburo class us a fringe elements for committing what they deem criminal acts for critical thinking and daring to ask ‘what the fuck is going on here?’ – for which we are derogatorily categorised as domestic terrorists. But the issue for them is protecting wealth, power and privilege, to maintain the imperium of the 1% - and their Thought Police’s jackboot on the necks of the 99% - and that’s us.”

“Never forget, in a time of universal deceit, those telling the truth are non-conformists affected by a state of Oppositional Defiance Disorder – which emanates from surfing alternative news websites, asking awkward questions, thinking for oneself and hence disbelieving what the government and mainstream corporate-fascist controlled media tell you – an aberrant mental condition that requires behind bars isolation and treatment with veritable cocktail of full strength psychotic medications – or in the most severe cases – an assisted suicide.”

“Thus questioning government motives and policies is viewed as a revolutionary act – and that is what scares the living shit out of the geriatrics and technocrats in the Politburo. Hence this all-pervasive surveillance state apparatus that simply dare not allow a teeming one and a half zillion population to question its ruling authority and up-end the status quo.”

“This privileged elitist fraternity, stricken with an absurd sense of entitlement, slither into public office via a nepotistic rule of hereditary succession and manipulating the illusion of competence - yet are all stricken with severe credibility issues – apart from which they are the type of shits that will anything to get into power, and willing to do anything to keep it.”
“What we are asking for has fuck all to do with progressive radicalism – as our people simply want a fair deal - and if this government needs the secret police to enforce its policies, then those policies are flawed and work against the public interest.”

Regardless, fuck China and the TPP and the New World Order.

Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area and whilst purposely blending slanderous comments and unbridled conjecture with wild rumour and hard facts, may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

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