Tuesday, 3 November 2009

Shameless Saudis on the Cadge

There was a veritable abundance of Third World countries present - and on their usual scrounging missions - at the recent U.N. climate talks in Bangkok.

All present were attempting to convince anyone stupid enough to listen that they definitely qualified for massive financial assistance to adapt to the impacts of global warming and profit from – whoops! – I mean – ‘adhere to’ the West’s carbon exchange cap n trade policy directives.
Then in barged the oil-rich obnoxious lard-arsed Saudis with their bottomless pit of a supplicant's begging bowl.

Saudi Arabia has led a covert back-stabbing campaign of outright threats and blackmail during these and other negotiations — demanding behind closed doors that oil-producing nations – with themselves at the forefront - get special financial assistance if a new global climate change pact calls for substantial reductions in the use of fossil fuels and starts to eat into the despicable bloated profits they’ve amassed over the past several decades and blown on marble palaces, white infidel whores, booze, drugs, race horses and floating brothels bigger than the QE2.

The Saudi’s brass-necked campaign comes despite an International Energy Agency survey report that indicates OPEC revenues would still increase $35 zillion between 2008 and 2025 — a mega-fold rise compared to the period from 1985 to 2007- even if countries ever agree to significantly slash emissions and thereby cut their use of oil.

Conversely the head of the Saudi mooching delegation - Sheikh Mohammed al Sleazbag -dismissed the IEA figures as ‘all fucked up’ and claimed OPEC's own calculations showed that Saudi Arabia would lose $19 billion a year starting in 2012 under the new climate change pact.

“We are among the economically vulnerable countries” Sheikh al Sleazebag told a reporter from the Greedy Gits Gazette – prior to him heading the Saudi begging mission to Copenhagen in December to negotiate a treaty that is hoped will replace the Kyoto Protocol, which expired as soon as it was ratified - as no-one ever took it really seriously until polar bears started drowning and Denver, Colorado residents woke one morning and found themselves up to their knees in seawater.

“This is a monumental fubar for us,” he continued. “We are in the process of diversifying our economy - investing in betting shops and the profitable pirate DVD business - but this will take a long, long time. We don't have too many resources – apart from oil, sand, camel shit – and a reserve stock of Jolly Jihadi suicide bombers.”

Saudi Arabia, which sits atop the world's largest mound of Petrodollars, is seeing economic growth slide because of the House of Saud’s thousands of illegitimate princes and other royal hangers-on milking the economy dry to finance their decadent bad habits and gross addictions that would get a common Saudi peasant instantly arrested and stoned to death by the backward nation’s fundamentalist Mutaween religious police – and even draw a sharp intake of breath from the membership of the Los Vegas Townswomens Guild.

The hubristic Sheikh al Sleazebag, in a typical example of Saudi inbred cultural unqualified arrogance, accused Western nations of pursuing an agenda against oil producers – and Saudi Arabia in particular - under the guise of combating global warming. “How can it get hotter than it is already – it was 45 degrees Centigrade in Riyadh today and the thermometer only goes as high as 48?”

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