Monday, 16 November 2009

Cross-Dressing Blamed on PCB’s

One medical report just leaked to the Transgender Gazette by government whistleblowers indicates something really does stink in Denmark – and it’s definitely not Hamlet’s socks.

The Copenhagen government yesterday admitted that leaked official research proved pregnant mothers, new-born babies and developing infant children are at risk from an array of gender-bending chemicals present in such commonplace items as toilet paper, goldfish food, Polish chicken portions, depleted uranium, Kelloggs Testosterone Flakes, Iranian bratwurst, Mongolian sauerkraut, Chinese fly swatters, KY jelly, suppositories, and battery-caged Cassowary eggs.

The most prominent among the actual domestic chemical index are dioxins, PVC, flame retardants, phthalates (extensively used to soften skidmarks in jockey shorts prior to washing) and the now largely banned PCBs – over a zillion tons of which were used in countless products from industrial paints to baby formula.

The 32,678-page report, leaked by the Grassers and Snitch Division of the government’s environment protection agency, Klunts - is the latest piece in an escalating and alarming jigsaw.
Gender-bending chemicals are being increasingly blamed and duly responsible for the mystery of what are termed ‘the lost boys’ - babies who should normally be male but turned out to be born the split-arsed variety – or effeminate cross-dressing closet cases.

The Transgender Gazette claims toxic chemical contamination from household items and cosmetics is to blame for plunging sperm counts and feminising male children globally and specifically in the developed (sic) world.

Sperm counts are diminishing at such a geometric rate that teenage European males are now less fertile than hamsters – which seems to be the recently accepted medical benchmark for fertility comparisons.

In one Nazi / Auschwitz style ‘sexperiment’ the numpty Danish medical association set out to find out how much contamination from gender-bending domestic chemicals a two-year-old male child could tolerate before morphing into a girl.

It concluded that the test subject – initially named ‘Hansel’ was at critical risk from daily exposure to low levels of substances such as nappy rash ointment, sunscreen cream, Preparation H hemorrhoid gel, Albanian trout, Greedy Grocer ‘hormone-boosted’ chicken breasts, Sunny D’ aspartame-flavoured orange drink and even fluoride toothpaste.

Six weeks into the experiment ’Hansel’ emerged from the bathroom one morning crying ‘Mummy! Mummy! – my cock’s fell off!”

An exhaustive medical examination revealed that Hansel’s penis had indeed been ‘shed’, his gonads completely retracted into the groin and a female vulva was in an advanced state of development.
Further, an ultrasound scan revealed the presence of a forming uterus and ovaries. It was at this time the subject was renamed ‘Gretel’.

Thus the World Health Organisation has now accepted that young boys – globally - alike those in the Danish study, could end up producing less sperm and develop feminised behaviour through this hormonal inbalance now known as Faggotitus Syndrome.

Research carried out at the UK’s prestigious Smegmadale University discovered during a study that umbilical cords from British mothers contained traces of hazardous substances such as nicotine, cannabis, wine and blood.

Further, boys whose mothers were exposed to White Lightning cider and Meths Breezer alcohlolic drinks while pregnant were more likely to play with dolls and tea sets, dress up in female clothes – and join the Queen’s Royal Navy.

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