Wednesday, 28 October 2009

Middle Kingdom Makes Green Energy First

Chinese car maker BWB today announced it is about to release a prototype electric vehicle capable of revolutionising the world of motoring.

Senior BWB (Big Wheel Barrow) design engineer Dr. Flip Flop Fong – the man responsible for power steering on Mongolian roller blades - informed reporters from the Shit or Bust Gazette that the company’s new E6 electric car - due to hit European and US markets before the end of the year - will do 250 miles (400km) on a single charge – and even further if left plugged in.

By comparison the Tesla electric sports car can achieve a similar range, but is basically a battery mounted on four wheels with a seat and steering wheel on top - and no room for passengers or luggage.

Conversely the BWB’s E6 model is roomy with space for ten passengers and a good-sized trunk that can hold several sacks of rice or two crates of ducks – with the battery being towed behind on a trailer.

It currently requires 2 days to charge the car’s battery when plugged into a domestic household 220 volt socket but BWB saleswoman Ms Yu Won Wank informed an interviewer from the BBC’s Flop Gear programme a specially developed fast charging point with a lead the diameter of an elephant’s trunk will fill up the car in just one hour – with this facility being available at any local nuclear power station.

BWB's Thaumaturgical Research Division has already established its name and credentials as one of the world's leaders in rechargeable battery technology with their Orme-based / exotic metals super conductor Rampant Rabbit vibrator battery kit that is capable of bringing an entire convent of nuns to orgasm before requiring a fresh charge – with this technology being the foundation for the new E6 vehicle’s power pack.

The green group WWF has just appointed the Chinese energy expert Dr Sum Dum Fuk as its head of global solutions. He advised the Sceptics Review that he would reserve judgment on BWB's claims until he saw further road test endurance results – especially so after learning the company was now planning on attaching a wind turbine to the roof of the E6 coupe model – as an optional extra.

The E6 will sell for 200,000 Yuan and is aimed initially at the Middle Eastern / Gulf region market where BWB’s ‘Camel Jockey’ model will have the entire body fabricated from solar panels so it can be parked or driven in continual charge mode during the daytime.

BWB’s Dubai-based sales rep’ Mohammed al Wang told an interviewer from Scrapheap Challenge “The E6 is set to go and runs a record 250 miles plus in the daytime – but unfortunately comes to a full stop as soon as it goes dark – but we’re working on that minor glitch even as I speak.”

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