Royal Family's 2015 'Happy New Scandal'

In this morning’s ‘Raving Royal Controversy’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Broken Britain's gutter press New Year banner headlines are unified in their pathetic reports of the near death crisis, airlift to a North Walsham veterinarian's hospital, progression of treatment and success of emergency surgery performed on a 'constipated goldfish' (Crappius auratus auratus) named Frank – and all in a futile attempt to comply with a monarchical 'Read This, Tremble and Obey' mass media public distraction edict from Fuckingham Palace to keep the common herd's eye off the ball while the Royal minders PR spin team got their 'emphatic denial' defence act together to convincingly condemn and refute allegations that Prince Randy Andy, the grand old Duke of Pork, is as guilty as his convicted paedophile sex slave abuser / boozing / coke snorting swinger pal Jeffrey 'Both Ways' Epstein, of bonking underage snatch.

The standard strew of palace disinformation and denials besides, anarchists, republicans and assorted nihilists are over the proverbial 'iconoclastic moon' with the Royal family's latest New Year scandalous embarrassment - that the paunchy Andrew, a talentless parasitic fuckup in his own right, has been named in a US civil suit as one of the pederast abusers of Jeffrey Epstein's child sex slave trafficking harem – all of which slots perfectly with allegations that his elder brother (and heir to the throne / king-in-waiting) Prince Chazzer - aka the Royal Plant Whisperer – (who was short-listed for an Oscar for his part of Dobby in the last Harry Potty movie) - was heavily into kiddie fiddling and shagging corpses with his great mate, Sir Jimmy Savile.

One member of this infamous paedo concubine seraglio, Jane Doe #2 - aka Fellattia van Gamm, who Epstein bought from her parents in Transylvanian for the price of a Siemens cappuccino maker when she was 12 years old, has named among her abusers the high flying celebrity lawyer Alan Derscumowitz – who has since thrown a typical Ashkenazi kikester hissy fit and gone into denial mode, claiming Fellattia is a fantasist he has never met – and hence by extension of this fact – neither has Prince Andrew Saxe-Coburg-Gotha-Windsor of York. Hmmm, now who's the fantasist.

Likewise, civil case pursuant Jane Doe #3 - aka Virginia Roberts – has named her pimp / recruiter into the life of sex slave whore at 15 years old as grotty Ghislaine Maxsmell, the bisexual daughter of bent publisher and Zionist stooge, the 'Bouncing Czech' himself - Cap'n Bob Maxsmell (Jan Ludvic Hoch) – murdered by Mossad back in 1991 for not following orders and being a bit of an all-round unreliable KGB double agent twat.

Roberts' civil complaint alleges she was forced to engaged in BD/SM-themed clusterfuck orgies where she and the 13 year old bisexual circus acrobat Sapphie Godemiche engaged in rampant three hole romps with the Duke of Pork and a household name ex-British Slime Minister at Epstein's personal Caribbean sex slave hideaway of St Tits, part of the US 'Virgin Islands' (sic - no pun intended) group – with her civil court complaint provided graphic testimony of giving the Prince a sloppy blow job 69-style, while massaging his prostate with a courgette – a service for which Epstein reportedly paid her US$15,000.

One abuser Roberts is rumoured to have specifically identified is old 'Vermin in Ermine' himself – the stoat-coated Lord Peter Scandalson of the Felchers – and an occasion which provided a disgusting 'hands-on' multi-tasking sexperience when forced to rim the latter pervert then push a 'wedge' of five freaked-out, traumatised hamsters up his back passage

Also named as abused claimants in the paired US$50 million suits are former Epstein sex slaves Candida Mingerot, Olga Slutanova, Beverly Titwank, Mingeeter Tribber, Slagella McSkanger, Chantelle Slitcrotch and Russian lap dancer Tekem Orloff – the latter gifted to Epstein by exiled Siberian zillionaire oligarch Oleg Mobsaroubles - owner of Gulag Gaz.

More damning still is the FBI's possession of registered sex offender Epstein's notorious 'black book' - chocker block full with the contact details of a host of the usual suspects - Fabian Society / Round Table / Club of Rome / Vatican / Bilderberger bisexuals, outright sodomites and raving pederast 'blackmail material potential' victims – including Tony 'Miranda' Bliar, Beardie Branson, Henry 'Viagra' Kissasser, Evelyn de Rothshite, Peter Scandalson, Duke Andy Windsor, Dodger Bill Clinton and Michail Sackashit of Russtheft Energy, to name a mere sampling - and all great believers in Epstein's male chauvinist maxim that girls old enough to bleed are hence fair game to 'butcher'.

For the record there are two current US$50 million bucks civil suits filed against Epstein – who has made in excess of 20 out-of-court mega-bucks settlements since being convicted and imprisoned for solicitation.

So the burden of proof viz Randy Andy's actual guilt still has to be laid on Justice's scale – with a cat in hell's chance of that happening due the conundrum of the arrestable class and the unarrestable class – for the PTB labour under the misapprehension that crimes by members of the elite must be swept under the rug as prosecuting them would destabilise 'the system'.
Conversely trial by public opinion has already returned a black capped verdict of 'guilty' due the ill-mannered brat's past dirty deeds and scumbag associations: for here the old maxim applies: 'know and judge a man by his associates' (Fat Fergie / Epstein etc, et al).

Yet WTF can be expected from our raving bonkers Royals with their exaggerated sense of entitlement and abuse of privilege - talk about welfare benefit cheats – the entire caboodle are a bunch of social parasites.
The whole of Europe's purported Merovingian monarchical bloodline are blighted with congenital birth defects – both mental and physical - resulting from generations of inbreeding with their own mongrel psychopath relatives and swimming freestyle at the shallow end of the gene pool – with a perfect instance being the deviant Duke of Pork's creophagous-jawed slapper-class daughters, Beatrice and Eugenie - with their fucked up piranha fanged dentistry and sub-zero IQs.

It sort of gladdens the hearts of the common herd – those with a couple of brain cells still achieving telemetry and not given to flag waving displays of subservient fealty to the ruling Brotherhood of the Snake cult – that the predatory rabid Royals find themselves embroiled in yet another bad news scandal – which all comes down to their exaggerated and absurd sense of arse-kissing entitlement, abuse of privilege and this misconceived divine right to behave like cunts while manipulating the illusion of competence, yet are collectively stricken with severe credibility issues of a Biblical order of magnitude.

These reptiles are an exorbitantly expensive high maintenance (unnecessary and redundant) 'asset' (sic) that weighs heavily on the public taxpayer's purse – and an embarrassment to themselves with their garbed ceremonial symbolism and occult practices – and more to the point, a public liability.

Thus Andy, the Duke of Pork, finds himself, once again, in a state of discomfort, due being the focus of a style of public attention he'd rather avoid – all down to his past friendship with convicted sex offender Jeffrey 'Nonce-Ponce' Epstein, who bankrolled him to pay off Fat Fergie's debts and provided lots of underage pussy to bonk.

'Tis a fact that the seed never falls far from the tree and Randy Andy follows after his promiscuous 'shag a dead rat' father (no, not the Royal Rudeness, Prince Stavros of Edinburgh – aka Virus Man) but his 'real' Dad - 'Old Porchy' – aka Henry George Reginald Molyneux Herbert, Lord Porchester and 7th Earl of Carnarvon – the licentious Lizzie's racing manager and part time lover – along with Baron Paddy Plonker, Royal Equerry and Deputy Master of the Royal Household – who sired the useless slack-jawed younger sprog – Prince Eddie of the Spendthrifts.
As to the horse-faced Anne, she follows her father, Stavros – both being right nasty pieces of work.

This casual leg-over syndrome must run throughout the entire Satanic Saxe-Coburg-Gotha tribe – these 'Wicked Windsors' – aka Monsters Inc – as we have the ginger mingin Prince Harry Hewitt, another Royal Cuckoo fathered by some horny lackey-in-waiting to a fairytale Princess selected as a brood mare to produce an heir and a spare.

The latest 'damage control on steroids' deniability mode statement from Fuckingham Palace spokesperson Sir Rupert Slack-Twatt related that Saturday morning's newspaper headlines were 'pretty unpalatable for the Prince and the shameless royal family'.
Aye, alas, but that's the sad way of things where the Truth is concerned.

So is this self-acclaimed bastion of virtue and stalwart of moral rectitude to be believed? Not if his past track record is anything to go by – and here I draw on personal experience of the vulgar maxim that a 'standing cock bears no conscience'.

In 1996 Andy was on another of his ego-massaging home and away trips and turned up in Manila during the pre-Xmas week of December heading a military delegation to boost defence ties with the Philippines.

After doing the diplomatic rounds and observing the required protocols of shaking hands with President Ramos and every other oligarch scumbag and their dog, Andy and his minders did a tour of the fleshpots of Manila's red light area of Ermita – where the 'legal / licensed' bar life 'entertainers', topless go-go dancers and jail bait hospitality girls are classed as fair game as soon as they have hair they can sit on.

Obviously no written 'Royal diary' record exists of those shenanigans or details of the 'hostesses' Andy and Co bar fined and took back to the Peninsula Hotel for onward entertainment.
Doubtless that night of sin went down pretty well as Andy must have acquired a taste for exotic coffee brown Asian tottie, making return trips in May 2001 and December 2004 while on a whistle-stop tour, drumming up trade agreements - for an alleged encore ménage à trois clusterfuck with a couple of Ermita's top notch suck n swallow three hole sluts.

On the subject of a taste for exotic Asian tottie, we have Andy's 'on and off' (sic) leg-over relationship with lissom Filipina mestiza beauty (and egocentric psycho nymph' slut) - model Alexandra Escat, who apparently spit the dummy with the Prince when staying at the iconic Manila Pen' Hotel and the capricious tosser demanded that kitchen staff had to iron his breakfast bacon as he didn't like it Pinoy style 'crispy / curly'.

To wit, regal denials – in triplicate - besides, and regardless of the hedonistic party animal Andy swearing his innocence on the body of a dead heron and a pick n mix stack of Korans, Torahs, Bibles and Argos catalogues, all before three Bishops and a Magistrate - is the man lying through his royal dentures and up for a bit of underage sex whenever the opportunity arises?
That is the question to ponder on – along with 'does the Pope shit in the woods?' and 'are grizzy bears Catholic?' – and 'is Prince Philip a grotty Greek?'

Thus where does this leave our constitutional 'Mummy' Monarch – Elizabeth Regina Mk 2? Well, with Epstein having Randy Andy caught on camera / videoed during his carnal indiscretions, in a very bad compromising position as far as being wide open to both coercion and blackmail by sources foreign and domestic (Mossad / Rothshites) are concerned, if she wishes to maintain the status quo.

There again we already have the 'Lizzie's been got at' instance of Fuckingham Palace petitioning the US Justice Department – via the Shite House – to go easy on Epstein and cut him a sweetheart deal (solicitation charge versus paedo sex slave trafficking) back in 2008.

Thought for the day.
How does the old nursery rhyme go:
Oh the Grand old Duke of Pork
He bonked ten thousand whores .... ?

Hmmm, doubtless Royal lawyers Tarbrush & Spewitt will be preparing a batch of 'shut the fuck up - or else!' libel and slander writs ready for serving on whistle-blowers, media expose merchants and paedo abuse victims alike.

'Impunitas sempre ad deteriora invitat’: Impunity always leads to greater crimes.

Luke 8:17 - ‘For there is nothing secret that shall not be made known’

Proverbs 26:26 - Their malice may be concealed by deception, but their wickedness will be exposed in the assembly’.

Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with wild rumour 'and' hard public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.