Foreign Office Recruits Dickhead

In this morning’s ‘Professional Incompetence Pays Off’ limited press run edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with whistleblower's leaked dispatches hot off the Met Plod Squad's 'snitch line' expertly hand forged, wrought and crafted into bespoke, cutting edge satire to tempt the palates of all conspiracy theorists, budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The Met's Assistant Commissioner, Cressida 'Seven Shots' Dickhead, 69, Broken Britain's highest ranking female Plod Squad officer, is to finally do the 'right thing' - quit the service (and move to the Foreign Office?) after more than thirty years of racking up a record number of floundered, stitch-up investigations and glaring fubars - and an assortment of other train wreck disasters she's presided over - then gone into her customary 'culpability denial' mode and blamed some other hapless fucker for her mistakes - as per the bodged 2008 arrest of Tory MP Damian Green.

The aptly-named Dickhead, easily recognisable by her piggy-eyed squint and trademark spiky butch dyke coiffeur - the type of Amazon wannabe skanger who inspires people to count their fingers if unfortunate enough to have shaken her hand - has apparently thrown a hissy fit and spit the proverbial dummy following her recent exclusion from a key SO15 counter-terrorism department role on the grounds she's a 'class act fuckup' who can't be trusted - and will leave in her shameless wake a veritable snail trail history of gross incompetence and Biblical scale calamities which have rightly earned her the disparaging sobriquet of The Snafu Kid - (one up on her Thames Valley Sappho Squad moniker of 'Strapon Sally').

The personality-deficient Tory Foreign Minister, Philip 'Dandruff' Hammond, cornered by canny gutter press hacks outside a Barnes Common public toilet where he was spotted 'cottaging' during his lunch hour, quoted the Official Secrets Act and refused to be photographed alongside a loitering rent boy, nor reveal the role the meddlesome Ms Dickhead will take up when she assumes her lateral promotion post at the Foreign Office on 19th January.
Conversely insider moles have leaked reliable gossip that the ghastly woman will be undertaking tasks more suited to her Common Purpose-trained intellectual skills - such as making coffee, running errands, pushing the mail trolley round the office and emptying Hammond's trash can - as penance for her past sins and brazen hubris.

To the public mind, we would collectively prefer never to have heard of this arrogant troll, nor the Nth degree catastrophic fuck up that threw her, Miss 'Untouchable' Gold Command, and the equally unaccountable gung-ho trigger happy SO19 Specialist Firearms Unit, into the media limelight with the bungled fatal shooting (murder) of innocent Brazilian electrician, Jean Charles de Menezes - a mestizo Roman Catholic Christian - mistaken by the moronic plods for Hussain Osman, a velcro-headed Ethiopian Muslim suicide bomber - and shot in the skull seven times at point blank range while boarding a train at Stockwell Tube Station.

Hence Miss 'Don't Blame Me' Dickhead was the designated Gold Command officer and wholly responsible for Operation Kratos - the Met's codename for special tactics to 'deal with' (murder / silence) false flag terrorist patsies such as the Leeds Muslim crew recruited by MI5 to work for Peter Power's Visor Consultants on a 'terrorist attack drill' and who were too stupid to see the wood for the fucking trees - and get on the right train - 'and' blow themselves up as planned, 'and' got shot all to fuck and back in an SO19 ambush when they - in their naive innocence - turned up at Canary Wharf later that fatal 7/7/2005 morning to find out what all the commotion was about.

The Met's head honcho, Sir Scouse Hulk Hogan Howitzer, doing his best to say something nice viz Dickhead's surprise departure, told media hacks she was a 'role model'. Nice one, Scouse - but a role model for what exactly- morons in general or the entire 'blame denial' culture that affects our not fit for purpose police service?

As far as we, the voting public demographic, are concerned "Whoops!" is no excuse or real apology for having an innocent migrant electrician subjected to an extra-judicial killing under the questionable legality of the 'Kratos' option - while wholly ignoring the historic criterion of 'innocent until proven guilty'.

So if Cressie 'Halitosis' Dickhead maintains the fallacy that she was not responsible for Menezes getting mega-tapped with a seven count of 9mm parabellum Black Talon rounds and remains unaccountable for her Gold Command responsibility actions, then who the fuck was to blame for the biggest policing scandal of July 2005? MI5 or MI6 for initiating this joint Mossad false flag Jolly Jihad terrorist attack in the first instance, simply to generate a wave of Islamophobia and demonise the Muslim sectors of our multi-cultural society and justify further wars of aggression in the Greater Middle East to attain strategic geo-political advantage and seize control of some other fucker's oil resources?

Hence as a stream of porky pies were told under sworn oath at the Menezes inquest to cover up their collective blundering mistakes and no fucker or their dog is to blame, then that sets a precedent for the tossers to do it again - and again - which leaves us contemplating who's gonna be next on the fuckwit's agenda to get double tapped x7 by mistake (or sinister design to make sure Menezes never revealed what he was privy to viz the 7/7 false flag attacks).

Thought for the day. Can't decide what presents the more favourable option - getting shot in the back of the head like Menezes - or an assisted 'wrist slashed' suicide like Dr David Kelly - or induced fatal heart attack like Robin Cook - or suffocate while padlocked inside a big black North Face holdall - a la GCHQ spy Gareth Williams?

OMG! Who is gonna be next on the security service's agenda to cop the nasty double tap? Hopefully one of these rip-off Polack plumbers or builders or window cleaners - as since Ms Dickhead okayed the murder of the Brazilian you just can't find decent electricians around the Stockwell area anymore.

Due the venal curse of the Masonic brotherhood pondscum infesting all aspects of the First, Second and Third Estates, our once-sceptred isle no longer has a Montesquieu system of institutional checks and balances acting to enforce the separation of government powers: the judiciary, legislature and executive.
Hence we have a corrupt establishment (royalty / Parliament - Houses of Conmans & Lords / civil service / courts / police / social services / banks / big business) that assumes the role of inquisitor into their own wrong-doings - scrutinising, probing and reviewing themselves - which equates as PC Fox charged with custody of the hen run keys, then tasked with investigating the case of the missing chickens.

So bollocks to political correctness - from here on in this is our legacy - to rip away the Veil of Venus blinkers and get people using their eyes and ears - and brains - to make that 'harm's way' quantum leap and start thinking for 'themselves'. No longer accepting and believing what the gutter press and biased goggle box telly spew out in politically correct format - or as 'hate thy Muslim neighbour' black propaganda - simply to pursue some unlawful self-serving immoral agenda, to maintain and further the established Them n Us compliance / control freak status quo.

Thus fuck the Satanist Masonic secret handshake pederast-necrophiliac fraternity, and Big Brother – and his Common Purpose sister – and the Moloch / Mammon worshipping Agenda 21 architects of the ZioNazi New World Order.

Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with wild rumour 'and' hard public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Carbon Credit Offset / Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Global Warming / Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals - otters or voles – or Brazilian electricians - were harmed in posting this insurrectionist epistle. However, a large number of the GCHQ / Five Eyes Alliance’s Prism / Tempora / Carnivore / Echelon / X-Keyscore / SIG-INT I-Spy super snooper ‘Nosy Bastard’ wire-tap / IMSI catchers / eavesdropping / data mining system’s network electrons on Hubble Bubble Road in Cheltenham were temporarily inconvenienced.

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