Sunday, 21 December 2014

Bliar Schtum on Deng Bonking Scandal

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Ex-New Labour PM and profligate war criminal Anthony Charles Lynton Bliar spit the dummy and threw a typical crockery-banging, faggot style hissy fit last week during an interview with the Cuckold's Gazette when questioned on the intimacy factor of his relationship with Wendi Deng, the Chinese nympho wife of zillionaire vulgarian publisher, Raving Rupert Mudrock - the octogenarian Ozzie dingbat who rose from the lowly ranks of Rothshite ZioNazi apologist stooge peddling the scandal-mongering Fair Dinkum gutter press tabloid to become a bungling political manipulator in his own right and preside over the global reach criminal phone hacking 'News Corp' media empire.

Broken Britain's former Slime Minister had his ignominious reprobate name pasted across banner headlines throughout the expanse of the known Universe last year following sensational shit-raking allegations he'd been bonking Wendi Deng, an act of such treacherous, conniving immorality which prompted the Antipodean moneybags media mogul to go into Defcon 1 1 blitzkrieg mode and divorce her bony alley-cat ass faster than shit through a goose.

Passages leaked from Wendi Deng’s diary revealed she had the hots for 'torrid Tony', who bunked up at the Mudrocks’ California ranch with the hustling strumpet in October 2012 and April 2013 - while Rupert was abroad on a kiddie fiddling excursion in Thailand - and further stated it was nice to have somebody - anybody - between her legs that doesn't need intravenous shots of Viagra just to get a hard on - then gulp oxygen from a bedside cylinder as he reached the orgasmic the vinegar strokes zenith.

Regardless of the weasel-featured Bliar adopting his customary less than truthful demeanour and going into total denial mode viz the Mudrock's house staff leaking stories to media hacks that he had been giving Wendi a good old three hole seeing-to, alfresco style, beside the ranch's swimming pool under cover of darkness - Mudrock can sniff out a rat from a thousand yards and since hoofing the wicked Wendi out with just the thong she stood up in, has likewise bestowed the jinxed Bliar with the Curse of the Black Spot pariah status - ostracised and damned - and slashed all contributions to Teflon Tony's faith foundations - specifically the Tony Bliar Benevolent Fund - and cut him off from all other previous donors inside the good ole US of A - which gels with perfect symmetry seeing the perjurious phoney is equally reviled across the length and breadth of the UK, where he served as prime minister for ten years.

But, to misquote the adage, love hath no fury like a cuckold scorned - especially a cantankerous old fart like Rupert - and more so to the point, who the fuck would want the likes of Bliar - for whom the truth's an anathema - slithering around their household alike the serpent of Eden?

Details of the love-struck Deng's diary, photocopied by money-grubbing maids at the California ranch, reveal she praised Bliar's bisexuality and his wrinkle-free legs and even his magic sphincter muscles gripping her fingers as she gave him a prostate massage.
More damning still were references of visits to a Carmel, Monterey pet shop where the 'couple' purchased a mix of hamsters, gerbils and guinea pigs to use in kinky felching games - a disgusting pastime that carries harsh RSPCA penalties and one allegedly picked up from Bliar's old pal, the vile stoat-coated Lord Scandalson of Fudgers Cross (aka Vermin in Ermine).

So the spank-eyed Wendi and despicable Tony are both in the top ten of Rupert's shit list since Deng's adulterous infidelity has resulted in Mudrock becoming an object of taunts, ridicule and scorn viz this extracurricular hanky panky with a two-timing fornicator like New Labour's champagne socialist, Bliar.

Mind you, who the fuck can blame Bliar (call me Miranda) getting it off with a super skanger like Deng when the saggy Cherie looks to be short of a couple of litres of industrial strength Botox and her cavernous gob lips flap around in the wind like a burst G800 radial tyre.

As to Deng herself, the product of low life origins, hailing from the People's Marxist Utopia of China's Wanking province, and a former singer with the now-outlawed Shanghai pop group, Falun & the Gongs.
Know to friends and family alike as a 'right opportunistic bitch' - and at college by the disparaging sobriquet of Clusterfuck Wendy due her addiction for ménage à trois three hole gang bangs.
Deng attended Cal State U where she composed her winning thesis, Dogging for Profit, then went on to fuck her way to being awarded a master’s degree in Slapperology at the Yale School for Gold-Digging. Not bad going when your sole assets are a tight bony ass, a pair of silicon-enhanced boobs and the fact you suck n swallow.

Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with wild rumour 'and' hard public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.


Gromit said...

Rumours abound that son James Murdoch - the BSkyB Mafia thug who threatened Ofcom boss Ed Richards with a Sopranos style 'We know where you live' warning - was giving Wendi one (or two) as well.

wiggins said...

Now that's what you call a Chinese take - way......