Saturday, 30 November 2013

Thus Spaketh Bonkers Boris: Mensa Rules

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Bonkers Boris Nonsense, the High Panjandrum successor to Dick Whittington as Mayor of London, this week redefined the ‘Them & Us’ national community paradigm by wearing his Young Turks Club ‘Mensa Rules’ t-shirt while giving a speech at the London Kikester Centre for Zionising Britain’s annual Maggie Twatcher lecture – which civil activists picked up on faster than shit through a goose - and were quick to criticise and label as typical of the Tory Nasty Party’s inherent concept regarding the ‘Haves and Have Nots’ socio-political divide of Third World Broken Britain – now mathematically reclassified under EU political correctness guidelines by the Ministry for Wasting Time & Money as the ‘99% vs the 1% Paradox’.

Of course in Pasher Boris’s view any fucker and their dog who hasn’t been to Eton, or attended the annual ‘Trasher’s Night’ at the Bullingdon Vandalism Club and laid waste to the centre of Oxford is a thickie – a loser – a useless eating member of the common herd – the comprehensive school sheeple whose IQs have shrivelled like desiccated prunes from watching X-Factor, Big Brother and Corrie Street –‘and’ reading red top gutter press tabloids – who end up redundant and resort to begging for a low-interest loan of a square meal from their local food bank – hence why they’re labelled ‘useless eaters’.

Regardless of Boris’s great-grandfather being Ali Kemal Bonkers, the eminent Sultan of Wonga and Gatekeeper of the Sublime Porte, the progeny has turned out to be a typical upper class toffee-nosed twat you couldn’t take seriously even if he had a loaded gun in his hand and would be better suited to a job as court jester – and due his arrogant remarks has sparked a major media shit fight due his 'unpleasant, careless elitism' – and stating that the common herd are just too stupid to get on in life – and quote: “can’t all be boardroom directors or get elected as MPs and have super salaries. Some oick with no GCSE A-levels has to go out in the rain and cold to empty the wheelie bins and get their hands dirty.”

Mayor Nonsense is of the delusional belief that the stumbling blocks which life has the bad habit of throwing at us – as instanced so perfectly with second bedroom taxes, unemployment, homelessness, bankruptcy - and even social services stealing your kids then being slapped with a secret Family Court of Protection gagging order to prevent you even asking which paedophile ring they were fostered out to up in nonce-infested Scotland – are all crucial elements essential to generate a spirit of envy and make people get off their complacent arses and do something with their lives – such as go postal and kill half the neighbourhood – or alternatively into serious self-harm mode and commit suicide.

Conversely Feral Beryl McSkanger, spokeswoman for the ‘Two Jumps at the Cupboard Door’ food bank charity, was in high dudgeon and had this to say to a gutter press hack from the Vulgarians Gazette.
“Yeah right, Bonkers Boris is another Tory silver spoon over-privileged tosspot wot’s more full of crap than a Christmas turkey wiv this stream of chat about inequality bein’ the natural order of things an’ only public school poofters wiv high IQs an’ wot knows a few Masonic secret handshakes should rise ter the top of society.”

“An’ we know by life experience that this 130 score IQ shite is a load of old bollocks cos the one’s at the top of the effin’ food chain, wot’s got all the fuckin’ money is a bunch of right thick cunts wot’s bin networkin’ through their pubic school sodomite connections ter get a leg up the ladder – then on ter the Freemason’s fudgin' club an’ kiddie fiddlin’ weekends away in the Highlands of Nonceland – bonkin’ little boys bums in the Balmoral heather.”

“Next thing they’re an MP then a cabinet minister wiv some easy mega-bucks directorship sinecure wiv the Ripoffs Banking Corp – or like this opportunistic bike-pedalling thatch-haired ponce Boris, a blunderin’ buffoon wot can’t keep his cock in his pants – makes a fuck of most of wotever he lays his hand to – married life, bein’ an MP, or that pitch he had at the Spectator – then he cops for Red Ken Livingroom’s job as Mayor of soddin’ London.”

“This latest ‘Boris-ism’ of his really gives the effin’ game away – the twat’s got the social conscience of a fuckin’ hyena on a scavvy hunt. Did yer hear wot the tosser had ter say about it woz okay bein’ an avaricious twat like that kikester Edomite Mafia Don wot tells the Bilderbergers wot ter do an’ owns Palestine – or Israel – or whatever they call the fuckin’ place now. Anyway, then he sez that tryin’ ter keep up wiv the Johnsons an’ maxin’ out yer credit card limit is wot drives the machinery of economic activity.”

Here Ms McSkanger is obviously referring to Baron Ja’ackoff Rothshite, patriarch of the London / Tel Aviv based international bankster crime syndicate, whose notorious motto echoes the philosophy of Fagin and Shylock - that 'Greed is great' – and a valuable spur to the core economic principles of payday loan usury in our flatline economy.

The Coalition’s Deputy Prime Minister Mick Clogg, leader of the Lib-Dum Losers Party, had this to say when interviewed by Andrew ‘Bat-Ears’ Marr on the BBC’s ‘Political Backstabbing Hour’ programme.
“Personally I condemn Boris’s inopportune remarks for writing off whole swathes of punters as being as thick as two short planks – even if it is the truth. Really, comparing the working class to a breed of dogs simply isn’t on – and then saying some of them are like the ‘poor me’ corn flakes that end up at the bottom of the packet – always whingeing about being the victims of this world – same as that Israeli leader bloke Nuttyahoo’s always doing.”

“In my opinion Boris is a politically inept clot who needs to wake up to the fact it’s the low IQ thickie sheeple – possibly Lib-Dum voters - that he’s so quick to castigate who fund his cosy £143,911 quid salary - and expenses. But due being pampered all his life he lacks the facility to see the intrinsic potentials latent in the working class - the oak tree in the acorn, so to speak.”

Ah well, c’est la vie around the Wasteminster political bear pit – dodging procrastinating civil servants and fellow politicos with blades drawn daily and not just for the Ides of March. But that’s the establishment – civil service and government – ruled by a hereditary cabal of over-privileged Eton-educated dog wanker toffs and snobs whose heads are so far up their own arses it’s a fucking wonder they can still breathe. To wit, an archaic hierarchical system and rigid culture that is long past its shelf life.

The Great and the Good – a bunch of smug cunts who could fuck up a perfectly good anvil, yet in their unqualified arrogance look down upon we peasants - ‘der untermenschen’ - the common herd sheeple – with marked disdain.
Yet this is the 1% elitist fraternity of the world that uses far more than it needs to live at a higher standard than those they are stealing from – who are known for their abuse of privilege and perverted excesses, plus an absurd, exaggerated sense of entitlement and self-importance in the natural order of things.

The bottom feeding scumsters, none hardly representative models of moral rectitude, who gain appointment to public office via manipulating the illusion of credibility and competence – then contrive to conjure the very laws we must obey and live by, yet so arrogantly place themselves above such laws – especially so bribery, nepotism and pederasty.

But when 99% of humanity operates according to the dictates of its stomach and sex organs and there exists a confounding glitch in the perceptions of mass human consciousness that derails their understanding of what the fuck is actually going on in the world and works to their collective detriment – then these political task masters, possessed of narcissistic personality disorders and deranged self-righteousness – the type of people who thinks wood grows on trees – are able to manipulate the populace alike a herd of human cattle.

So yes, the fault lies with them, and more so with us, for allowing this sick state of affairs to exist and not following the stellar game-changing examples of a thoroughly pissed-off French proletariat of 1789, and the Russian follow-up of 1917.

Thought for the day. One ponders if Mayor Nonsense’s authorship will ever stretch to a ‘Boris’s Big Book of How To Win Friends & Influence People’?
Zipline Boris has been touted by Flatbrokes, the UK’s ubiquitous High Street bookies, as a staunch favourite to assume the mantle of Posh Dave Scameron as Tory leader and Prime Minister. If this ever materialises into reality, then Gawd help us all.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.


Anonymous said...

Boris and his Barclays bikes - wot a twat.

Scally said...

Like the 'Bonkers' bit. Boris might well be promoting high IQs as the be all and end all of success in life but he's not exactly a penultimate example of the intelligence pyramid. More like his ancestor-realatives have been swimming too long at the shallow end of the gene pool.