UK Quacks Cop Death List Bonuses

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The shit has hit the fan big time with rowdy demonstrations being fielded by Falun Gong style anarchy-bent flash mobs outside the House of Conmans this week, with pro-life groups determined to get their core message across following leaks from National Ill-Health Service whistle-blowers, published in the red top gutter press tabloids that Broken Britain’s money-grubbing GPs are raking in an extra £50 quid bonus per head if they stick elderly patients on NHS 'death lists' – a key objective strategy aimed at reducing healthcare costs and complying with the UN’s Agenda 21 euthanasia requirements for mass population reductions.

Information leaked from Smegmadale-on-Sea’s Harold Shipman Centre for Clinical Excellence revealed that every non-hospitalised death saves the NHS £1,000 nicker, hence GPs – always eager to have their palms crossed with thirty pieces of silver, are now being paid to draw up 'end-of-life advanced care plans' – aka ‘oldie hit lists’ - for patients their computerised Ouija board software programme predicts will pass away in the coming year.

From a philosophical viewpoint the concept of bonus payments was initially mused to encourage doctors to discuss the imminent ‘Grim Reaper’ factor with elderly and terminally ill patients and suggest alternatives for croaking in hospital – such as landfill sites or even under a tree in the cemetery to cut down on funeral costs.

Due hospital deaths in the UK costing the NHS a flat rate of £3,065, whereas patients croaking elsewhere come in at a discounted £2,107, GP quacks were paid £50 for each care home patient they coerced into signing an ‘end-of-life’ contract – in which is stated they want to die at home, and further stipulates they are not to be resuscitated nor given expensive pain-killer drugs in their final hours.

One negative and adverse knock-on effect of the controversial ‘yellow folder’ end of life contract scheme (read ‘scam’) has now resulted in ambulance crews refusing to take extremely ill people to hospital if their ‘care’ plan states they want to die in the comfort of their own home – with paramedics simply posting a body bag through the letterbox instead.

Ron McScrote, spokesman for the prestigious Croak with Dignity charity, had a condemning message for one press hack from the Coffin Dodgers Gazette: “It does my fuckin’ head in that GP’s are rakin’ in a stream of tidy sums in bonuses from the NHS for addin’ pensioners and terminal sickie patient’s names ter a controversial ‘death list’ wot our team reckons is reminiscent of Hitler’s Nazi euthanasia campaigns – or the Yank’s Dr Jack Kevorkian Assisted Dying programme.”

“It all comes down ter makin’ euthanasia socially acceptable under the skewed terms of this moronic political correctness culture wot’s bin shoved down our throats – an’ instanced perfectly wiv the controversial Scouseland Care Pathway - aka Assisted Suicide with a Smile - wot involves beatin’ the patient ter death wiv a claw hammer, or similar blunt instrument, wrapped in a soft and cuddly glove puppet.”

“Wot we’re face wiv here is yet another social engineerin’ control mechanism designed ter serve the established an’ flawed political system – a bureaucratic vehicle designed ter secure an’ further the unfair (1% vs 99%) advantages of this over-privileged ruling economic elite wot lords it over us.”

Thought for the day. Well, Agenda 21 and the Liverpool Care Pathway besides, there’s another cold winter ahead that even burning stacks of global warning propaganda bullshit will fail to warm the cockles of pensioners hearts, that will see our not-fit-for-purpose excuse for a National Health Service overloaded with flash-frozen geriatrics who, thanks to the money-grubbing power corporations upping the tariff rates for gas and electricity by astronomic double figures (10%+ when Ofgem claims that wholesale prices only rose by 1:7%) won’t be able to afford to heat their homes – a factor aggravated by Tory Chancellor Jeff ‘Mollie’ Osborne slashing £50 quid off the pre-coalition government Winter Fuel Allowance for pensioners down to a mere £200 – just enough to buy a woolly cardigan, a pair of gloves and a packet of Victory Vs.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.