Sheffield Set for Pikeyphobia Race War

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The Con-Dem Coalition’s Deputy PM, Nick ‘Forked Tongue’ Clegg, has been forced to get off his complacent flabby arse and go into damage control mode following fellow Sheffield MP David Blindgitt’s xenophobic scaremongering panic attack this week, warning all and sundry who were willing to listen to his paranoid hysterical blather of a brewing race war, then shouting from his ramshackle Shiteside constituency rooftops “To the barricades - lock up your children! The Gyppos are coming!”

New Labour MP Mr Blindgitt - whose Sheffield Shiteside constituency includes the Pikey Hill area, where Roma migrants from Slovakia have set up a cottage industry clothes peg whittling factory alongside Poacher Pete’s Ripoff Emporium - which deals exclusively in smuggled and stolen goods - was high in oath when informing a gutter press hack from the red top Jingoists Gazette that mass rioting was a dead cert when the waves of Gyppo migrants waded ashore onto Broken Britain’s beaches in January.

“Poo-pooing this talk of galloping xenophobia besides, it’s about time Posh Dave Scameron woke up to the reality of the dark brooding mood and flash mob tempers fomenting outside of Parliament’s insular walls.”
“First off, the government need to pressure Pikey Hill’s Roma community to radically mend their anti-social behaviour patterns – apart from the sweaty armpits and galloping halitosis and loitering on street corners at all hours - and taking a dump in the town’s litter bins – which really aggravates the locals and attracts swarms of flies - there’s the matter of all the missing dogs and cats which have doubtless ended up in some Fido or Tiddles goulash.”
“What’s more, these moronic suggestions of talking to each other across community divides are more at scent than substance - as in this case the ‘divides’ will just end up as a line of slit trenches and barbed wire barriers."

“We’re already inundated with a flood of Albanian swan-roasters and carp-poaching Polacks – none of whom have any intentions of ever going back home now they’re on the welfare benefits gravy train – and come New Year we’ll be swamped out with hordes of Gyppos – then it’s time to start watching the kiddies 24/7 before they fall victim to some pikey child sex trafficking ring.”

“So, I ask the logical question, how can there be any determined effort to aid integration when they turn up with their smelly ferrets and ratting dogs and go off around the local parks trapping hedgehogs for their Sunday lunch. Its got that bad on the Pikey Hill housing estate that if they pay the rent twice in a month the Plod Squad call round to see where they got the money from?”

Conversely Librarian Dummercrat leader Mick Clogg, whose Sheffield Hallam constituency shares a boundary with Mr Blindgitt's, informed media hacks that “Downing Street is acutely aware of the possible tensions, but it doesn’t really help what is a volatile situation already when Blindgitt lurches around making wildly hypocritical statements that it’s all our Coalition government's fault when back in 2003, from his Home Secretary’s desk, in between advertising for loose moral skangers to have his babies, he declared there was ‘no obvious upper limit’ to immigration. Hence in my book it’s tough shit for him to start complaining now, ten years down the road, over the knock-on effect in his own backyard.”

”MigrationWatch UK’s Andy Green exposed the systematic deceit involved with the genuine scale of immigration that occurred under Tony Bliar’s Downing Street watch – and was subjected to a vile and sustained campaign of character assassination for his troubles, directed by that reptilian fudger, Lord Peter Scandalson of the Felchers (aka Vermin in Ermine) who pursued an aggressive policy of Rent-an-Immigrant, having visa application forms posted in Third World telephone boxes and public toilets from Murmansk to Tierra del Fuego.”

“For Christ’s sake, Ed Millipede needs to have some fucker do a risk assessment on anything David Blindgitt intends saying to the media from here on in, before he single-handedly kick starts World War Three with the eastern bloc Europeans – or the Pakis or Muslims or whoever – Astrid and Rufus the true blue ET aliens from Planet Argos maybe.”
“I mean, really – how the fuck are the cabinet Nudge Unit supposed to spin doctor us out of a nation-wide wave of sodding race riots - and we can hardly count of Blindgitt’s brand of bellicose chauvinism when the best sound bite he can come up with is “The Pikeys are coming!”

“Obviously Mr Blindgitt and I don’t quite see eye to eye on this issue, as David’s one of these old stick-in-the-mud type commoners who never embraced our concept of the Big Society and has a bit of a blind spot where racial tolerance is concerned.”
"There again, I’m a die-hard liberal and think one of the great things about Britain – well, apart from nonce-infested Scotland - is that we are an open multi-cultural society and should welcome migrants willing to work for minimum wages and sleep ten to a room.”
“And there again we have the ones with a few bob who invest here and create jobs – like Mr al Fayed buying Harrods and his ready cash for questions bonus back-handers. Plus let’s not forget the droves of foreign medical professionals who are currently keeping the National Ill-Health Service afloat – apart from the likes of Dr Freddy Patel who made a right mockers of our autopsy procedures which resulted in the course of justice going tits up.”

So, anyone out there have a Ouija board that can predict the impact of vulgar Bulgars and Romanian pikeys arriving in the UK next January?
It all comes down to the failure of the previous New Labour government fubar for opening the doors to the welfare benefit scroungers from eight eastern European countries back in the semi-halcyon days of 2004 – and Jumping Jack Straw describing this balls-up as a ‘spectacular mistake’ is a purposeful euphemism for the biggest fuck up New Labour made – next to having David Kelly and Robin Cook murdered – and letting Gordon Brown sit in the Prime Minister’s chair.

The demographic composition of our once-sceptred isle has been purposely corrupted with malice aforethought to suit the New World Order agenda.
So fuck Brussels and this 28 nation community disaster, allowing millions of newcomers with no historic connection to Britain to settle here. We need to disengage from the EUSSR and this pernicious policy of multi-culturalism immediately if not sooner – along with criminalising childhood and the political correctness hysteria – that’s got every fucker and their dog terrified to say ‘Boo!’ to a goose or call a spade ‘a spade’ anymore.

Thought for the day. Now here’s a thought to stop this prophesised tidal bore of pikey trailer trash in its path: enforce the provisions of the contentious ‘asbos on steroids’ Anti-Social Behaviour, Crime and Policing Bill which is currently being fast tracked through the House of Conmans by the Illuminati / New World Order stooges.

Why the fuck not – if kids skateboarding or playing in the street or park can be targeted by PCSO and Community Enforcement Stasi morons seconded from Renta-Thug Agency and officially sanctioned with their behaviour outlawed on the sole grounds that they ‘might’ annoy miserable twat neighbours who need to get a life – then the self-same regulations can be enforced on these tribes of Neanderthal culture knuckle-draggers hell bent on bringing our Anglo-Saxon society down to their level of uncouth existence and depravity.

Further, let’s not overlook the blatant fact that this totalitarian tip-toe creep-creep legislation is purposely and with malice aforethought, politically geared to shitcan the very essence of Magna Carta and criminalise protests and demonstrations on the ‘Occupy’ scale – another step closer to the Big Brother jackboot coming down on our collective freedom-loving necks.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.