Tuesday, 22 September 2009

Ungrateful Iraqis Don’t Appreciate US Invasion

The US House Overshite Committee on International Ethnic Cleansing, Human Wrongs and Justifiable Genocide met today in Washington to discuss issues of sovereignty and stability in Iraq and the country's longstanding financial obligation of reimbursing the US-led coalition nation forces for the costs of invading - then occupying - their country for the past six years – at great ‘continuing’ expense in the terms of body bags and funerals.

During the hearing Iraqi Minister for Firewood - Saleh bin Muttonleg - and former Iraqi interim Minister for Tents - Ayad Ali Wigwam - both members of Iraq's Council of Representatives - and high ranking cadre leaders of the Shite ‘Fill Yer Pockets’ ruling political party - spoke about Iraq's future and called for a "moral and responsible" withdrawal of U.S. troops – preferably before Christmas.

Both stated for the record that the invasion of their country was not only wholly illegal but totally irresponsible – for while Saddam Hussein might have been an utter nasty prick they were better off under his dictatorial suppressive iron fist rule than having John Wayne and Co. devastating the country’s infrastructure to the present Stone Age level just so Halliburton could get even richer by ‘rebulding the place’ and let the Renta-Thief US energy companies bleed their oil and gas wells dry for sweet Fanny Adams.

However 96-year old U.S. Republican Congressman Dana Rohrabacher : 46th Redneck District Of California – (a former draft-excused tomcat strangler) tore into the Iraqi representatives and berated the Iraqi people in general for their lack of gratitude to the US for invading their country and making a total fucking mess of it.

Rohrabacher went into verbal diarrhoea motor-mouth mode – his face turning an apoplectic purple – as he launched a fanatical spittle-laden diatribe against the pair.
"I have never heard one word of heart-felt thanks or received a letter of appreciation from the Iraqi peasants about the 4,300 Americans and Blackwater mercenaries who lost their lives while bringing them the Shining Light of Democracy," he exclaimed, banging the table with his forehead for added emphasis.

"We went to Iraq to try and free your people and now we're being blamed for sectarian violence," he screamed. "Don't blame us because you’re all a bunch of blood-thirsty savages still living in the 14th Century."

A defiant Saleh al Muttonleg responded, "You were the ones who pushed your troops into our country. We did not invite you – so now you can all fuck off again – and please take your scumbag Israeli mercenaries with you."

It was at this point an exasperated Rohrabacher threw up his hands and stormed out of the room for a caffine boost to calm his shattered nerves – unable to deal with the unfair use of Hegelian logic and opponents telling the truth.

In the aftermath of Rohrabacher's psychotic tantrum Rep. Bill Delakuntt (D-MA) quietly stated to Mr. bin Muttonleg and Mr Ali Wigwam that Weapons of Mass Distraction, and not Iraqi freedom, were the reason the U.S. & Co. invaded Iraq - even though there were none ever found – mainly due the fact they didn’t exist in the first place - and the military just decided to stay regardless – camped right next door to their next intended targets – Syria and Iran.

Rohrabacher – no stranger to controversy for his ‘good ole boy’corn-pone IQ and moronic public statements - was named "Countdown with Keith Olbermann's "Worst Person in the World" in April 2007 for condoning extraordinary rendition – and torture in general – as being permissable – so long as performed by Uncle Sam’s army boys - with his closing remark of “No shit – ain’t war jest Hell” being roundly booed by the studio audience.
Critics – and even friends and family alike – freely admit Rohrabacher can be taken anywhere twice – the second time to apologise.

In the November 1996 issue of the Warmonger’s Gazette Rohrabacher was reported as saying that the Taliban were not terrorists or revolutionaries, that they would develop a disciplined Southern Baptist style society that would leave no room for terrorists - and that the Taliban posed no threat to the United States.
Oh yes - just the man to have representing you in Congress – a true prophet with his finger on the international poltical pulse.

Do you think the Iraqis are a bunch of ungrateful twats for failing to recognise and appreciate the US-led coalition invasion as a Godsend (Allah-sent) that got rid of nasty old Saddam and left their infrastructure and social order in ruins and made a right Balkans of the place?

Do you agree the US should get Iraqi oil for free for the next 100 years to pay for all the bombs, shells, missiles and bullets we’ve used there?
Regardless, where else could these guys get their entire sovereign terrain covered with Insta-Mutant depleted uranium dust for next to fuck all cost?

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