Thursday, 10 September 2009

Obama Schools Speech Fiasco Amuses Kids

President Barack Obama has delivered a junior State of the Nation speech to American schoolchildren, broadcast live to classrooms across the entire good ole US of A – from kindergarten age to upper high school grades.

However Republican critics claim Mr. Teleprompter is setting out to establish an Orwellian / Big Brother cult of the personality with this TV speech – which they consider is a preliminary exercise in the social propaganda brainwashing of adolescent kids for nefarious political ends.

As GOP spokesman Hiram T. Wasp III told Fux News “It’s a complete rehash of JFK’s plea to the kids during his inauguration speech before he got grassy-knolled : “Ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country” – only now it’s what you can do for the New World Order Zionists and the land-grabbing Israelis- and lose your ass in the process.”

The Daily Shitraker News website asked one Alabama audience member – eleven-year-old Selma Scrunt – a pupil at the KKK Goat Hill Elementary School in Montgomery - to write about the speech.

“I was sitting in my fifth period class when I saw this black guy - who looked just like one of our resident neighbourhood paedophiles - come on the screen.”
“As soon as we saw him the class started screaming and shouting “Hey, Jefferson the kiddie fiddler’s on TV!”

“He started off smiling, which that old pervy twat Jefferson does with us kids when he’s offering you some of his pick n mix candies or recreational drugs – before he asks if you wanna see his one-eyed trouser snake and goes into total deviant grope mode.”

“Then our teacher – Miss Sodomstein - tells us “That’s not Jefferson – it’s Mister Barky O’Barmy - he's the new US President” - and Peggy-Spew calls out “How did a black guy get the top job?”- and the entire class cracked up laughing.”

“So anyways this O’Barmy guy goes on about how you need an education to get a good job – like President of the US – and how we should all have our Sneezy Pig flu vaccine shots then sign up for the draft and go to Afghanistan to kill the Taliban who hate us cos we’re good Christian Democrats who believe in God and they worship some evil guy called Allah who’s the patron saint of suicide bombers."

“President O’Barmy says Allah and his guys were the ones who did the twin towers on 9/11 and are planning to do a whole shitpile of dirty atomic bomb attacks across our country this October in fixed wing trainer planes - with nasty nukes they grabbed in a Russian fire sale.”

“Then he starts on about domestic terrorism and how it’s a kid’s duty to sign up for FEMA’s Junior Snitch programme and to report our Mom or Dad or the neighbours to Homeland Security if they were bad-mouthing the government cos the house got repossessed after Fannie Mae went tits up – or they say anything naughty about the President being a Kenyan and having a forged Hawaiian birth certificate.”

“Next thing he puts on his glasses and starts doing a Dalai Lama impersonation and starts quoting something called the ‘Patriot Act’ and tells us that every kid has got to be a ‘patriot’ and upgrade their home pc to Microsoft’s Windows 7 system and install the new Vista software – which came across as a real saddo sales pitch.”

Selma concluded : “Then that stupid little git Wesley turns to the teacher and shouts out ‘Hey! – that’s not the Dalai Lama - it’s that Bill Gates nerd he’s taking off. So is this O’Barmy guy gonna tell us the goat story like Dubya did - or what?’ – and everyone started laughing – so we all got detention for dissing the President.”

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