UK Arms Fuel Mid-East Conflicts

In this morning's ‘Profits versus Peace’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Mollie McSkanger as she gate-crashes the Aerospace Defence Security warmongering weapons industry trade association dinner at London's Hilton Hotel to report on the antics of arms industry lobbyists and their lickspittle Parliamentary political stooges for Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with 'ring of the anvil' dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding non-conformists, proto-nihilists and career radical revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The gospel according to a group of bolshie House of Conmans MPs, Posh Dave Scameron's Nasty Party government should put a block on arms sales to the barbarian head-chopping Third World kingdom of Saudi Arabia amid claims civilians in their very one-sided military conflict with Yemen-based Houthi freedom fighters (read 'moderate rebels') are being killed by nasty, wicked weapons manufactured in, and supplied by, Broken Britain – thus making our once-sceptred isle complicit in this despicable humanitarian catastrophe.

Parliament's International Development Committee this week released a condemning report, carried in the latest edition of the Warmongers Weekly Review, which claims there is overwhelming evidence the Saudi-led bully boy coalition that has been picking on a group of Houthi rebels out for a spot of Western-nurtured 'democratic self-determination' has violated humanitarian law – and further called for the Tory government to support an international inquiry into the alleged abuses.

However, Foreign Secretary Philip 'Dandruff' Hammond and Defence Minister Tricky Micky Fallon - (both sleazy Freemason types who inspire people to count their fingers if unfortunate enough to have shaken their hand) – and backed up by none other that the Tory's transvestite Home Secretary, Terry 'Testosterone' May - unanimously claim the government has a rigorous arms export control system.

Yeah right – flog weapons to every fucker and their dog – especially so human rights n wrongs abusers, to hold up their corrupt draconian secret police martial state regimes – Bahrain, Qatar, the UAE, Oman, Kuwait, etcetera, et al - and last but by no means least, the evil Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. The list, though not quite infinite, comes literally close to endless.

Conversely. and too quite evasively, in an attempt to wriggle out of any suggestions of culpability for contributing to war crimes and human rights and wrongs violations, Posh Dave Scameron's Nasty Party government claims it has one of the most transparent arms export control systems in the world - with each end users licence application assessed on a case-by-case basis.

Hmmm, so they sell the Saudi barbarians some £3 billion quids worth of pick n mix armaments and military ordnance – things that go 'Bang!' in the night – over the last twelve months period - and no fucker or their dog is going to suffer injuries when such things as Shitstreak missiles or Paveway bombs are loosed off indiscriminately onto a landscape thousands of feet below the launch point?

In a vain attempt to get some twat at cabinet ministerial rank to take notice, the Committee dispatched a letter to the International Development Secretary, Justine 'Blonde Moment' Greenthing – (incumbent Tory MP for Slutney) – stating the sale of arms to Saudi Arabia had risen significantly since the KSA / Yemen conflict had evolved from a minor shouting match into an all-out blood bath – with a further £3 billion nicker's worth of export licences for a broad spectrum arsenal of armaments granted in the last six months.

Such include £1 billion quid's-worth of licences for bombs, rockets and missiles issued in the three months to the end of September 2015, compared to £9 million's worth of licences awarded over the same period the previous year.

The chairman of the International Development Committee, Lady Candida Ffinch-Gargoyle, speaking to a reporter from the Blood & Guts Gazette at her Devon-based Pikeys Crotch home, stated for the public record that "We are shocked that the UK government can continue to claim that there have been no breaches of humanitarian law by the coalition and not only continue sales of arms to Saudi Arabia but significantly increase them since the start of the coalition intervention into Yemen."

"Hard documented evidence establishes a veritable paper trail to suggest there is a clear risk that weapons sold to Saudi Arabia are being used in the commission of serious violations of international humanitarian law. Just wait until the dust settles and some moralising do-gooder launches a Nuremberg 2 Tribunal, then we'll see who goes into deniability mode and starts running for cover, and using the threadbare 'only following orders' excuse. Well, it didn't work for the Nazis and it isn't going to work for Hammond and Fallon and that smarmy, gorping prat of a development secretary, Justine Greenthing, who's signing off on these despicable arms sales to despot regimes."

Thought for the day. This week Parliament's International Development Committee have released the afore-mentioned damning report that the war-mongering Saudi barbarians are guilty of conducting widespread and systematic air strikes against civilians in Yemen - targeting displaced person / refugee camps, along with weddings, funerals, schools, hospitals, religious centres and public markets – and that the British Tory government should end all arms exports to Saudi Arabia in light of these on-going, large-scale human rights violations by the KSA military.

As if to snub his nose at any such suggestion and cut back the likes of BAE Systems' mega-bucks arms sales profits, the Tory's expenses-fiddling Defence Minister, Michael 'DUI' Fallon, decided to ignore the plight of suffering Yemeni civilians and instead attended a £450 quid-a-head ADS (Aerospace Defence Security) weapons industry trade association dinner at the Hilton – along with 40-odd other fellow arms lobbyist-sock puppet MPs.

Despite calls from the UN, aid groups, and now Parliament, Nasty Party ministers still insist that selling bombs to the barbaric KSA petro-state is not problematic – with PM Posh Dave Scameron personally endorsing the toxic presence of detachments of UK military advisers from the 22nd Special Air Soft Regiment, the 21st Queen's Own Cannon Fodder Battalion, the 17th Body Bag Brigade, and the 14th Armoured Segway Corps working alongside the dictatorship’s military in both training and support capacities.

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Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with wild rumour 'and' hard public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

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