Saturday, 6 February 2016

Homeless in Hackney? You're Fucked

In today’s ‘No Room at the Inn’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandalous cutting-edge gossip from Frank 'Roadkill' McTwatt, camped out under a hedge on Hackney Downs, yet still manning the mobile phone hot line for Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with 'ring of the anvil' dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding non-conformists, proto-nihilists and career radical revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Those hapless members of our sick society, who through force of circumstances and reversals of fortune find themselves homeless – specifically so in the dystopian London Borough of Horrible Hackney - are facing expulsion from the streets and parks under the provisions of a draconian new by-law that will allow the local Plod Squad thugs (oh yes – the uniformed sworn protectors of the public domain – some fucking joke) to slap homeless persons found loitering, begging and / or sleeping in public places with impossible, exorbitant fines - plus a host of other nasty legal penalties.

This 'Public Space Protection Order' which was introduced by the bureaucratic jobsworth scumsters who comprise the toxic ranks of horrible Hackney's council - (and doubtless have a 'comfort zone' roof over their own pointy little heads) - to cover for their own incompetence and short-coming inadequacies to resolve this destitute street sleeper dilemma via finding a socially-acceptable solution to homelessness and not criminalising the down and out stigma – and will impose a fine of £1,000 quid on homeless (penniless vagrant) activities.

The order has been met by numerous criticisms, with socio-political activists shouting 'Foul!' from every protest platform available - that the new laws effectively outlaw - and now criminalise - homelessness.

Yep, now that casts a most discerning shadow on the government of the day, when this is how the contemptible Tory bureaucracy treat the most vulnerable in our society. But that's fuck all to what the Nasty Party's train fare dodging / coke-snorting tosser of a Chancellor, George 'Spankies' Osborne and the DWP's onanist Minister for Social Misery, Iain Dunkin-Shitt, have inflicted to date on the actual special needs, chronically (and terminally) ill, and disabled members of Broken Britain's downwardly immobile community – slashing their welfare benefits to the point where the only pain relief option to death by starvation is an act of felo-de-se suicide.

Ron McScrote, spokesman for the homeless 'Outcasts' charity - a major vocal opponent of Hackney's arbitrary and totalitarian police state legislation – opined to one gutter press hack from the Vagrants Gazette red top tabloid that this immoral and atrocious tyrannical act of targeting London's cold, wet and hungry homeless population – and by extension setting a precedent for oppression against the deprived and marginalised sectors of Broken Britain in entirety – constituted a human rights violation.

"The unfortunates of our society have been victimized for long enough by local authority system that's fundamentally corrupt and rotten from within. So Hackney and Westminster beware – cos this latest act of criminalising homelessness and branding vagrants as undesirable pariahs could well be the catalyst to kick start a socio-political reaction of bloody revolution proportions."

“Rough sleepers deserve better than to be treated as a nuisance and like some lump of dogshit stuck on a Hackney councillor's shoe. Just look at all the empty fuckin' properties around London that could be utilised to house the homeless – plus that other half-occupied sprawling dump at the top of The Mall where the Queen lives - Fuckingham Palace. I'll bet old Lizzie could put a couple of hundred unfortunate street sleepers up there until the government get their finger out and stop spending money on housing poxy refugees and bombing Muslims and start looking after their own down and out nationals."

A parallel oppressive 'penalties for poverty' scenario was planned for Oxford, but during the consultation process the outcry from the local population became so vocal that the government was forced to pull back on their 'couldn't care fucking less' proposal. Whereas the fascist state Hackney Council jobsworths refused to field a single consultation prior to this arbitrary policy being implemented.

While the tyrannical scheme was unanimously rejected by Hackney's voting – and tax-paying – demographic – with legions of objectors signing Nay / No Way petitions to block the ban on homeless sleepers – and specifically find them alternative accommodations - Hackney Council have no fucking intention of recognising the mood and will of their constituent residents.

Labour's racist card MP for Hackney, the hypocrisy-tainted Dianne 'Fatty' Abbott (Schwein im schlüpfer) was unavailable for media comment due being otherwise occupied fiddling her overdue 'extraneous earnings' tax return declaration for the House of Conmans Register of Member's Interests - before the Standards and Privileges Committee jumped on her case again.

Are you a hapless homeless nuisance currently targeted by Hackney Council's despotic sleeping rough laws? Do you squat in the Hackney area? Have you been declared persona non grata by Hackney's Plod Squad? Having problems paying your latest £1,000 nicker fine? No luck with a payday loan from Wonga, Ripoff Readies, Slick-Quid, Gash Cash or Pound of Flesh Credit?

Send us your comments using the online reply form below and you could win first prize in our 'Roof over their Heads' competition – a 12 month stay in a London prison of your choice (shared cell) with TV, a bed n mattress, toilet, washbasin and shower, three meals a day - and trifle on Sundays. Uniform kit and beddings supplied.

A selection of your comments may be published, displaying your name and the GPS location of your camouflaged bivouac on Hackney Marshes, so the council's Tonton Macoutes know where to find you.

Thought for the day. As to the membershits of Hackney Council – may the Curse of the Tupilak be upon them all.

Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with wild rumour 'and' hard public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Raving Rupert Mudrock's News Corp and the uber-racist Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence - (unless one has the audacity to dare expose, name and shame the membership ranks of Scotland's Masonic Speculative Society 'Nonce Ponce' Magic Circle / Violate BD/SM Club kiddie fiddling cabal – along with their Holyrood Parliament / Crown Office sodomite / paedo-enablers and cover-up protectors).

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