In today’s ‘Be Kind to Animals: Zoophilia Banned’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Mollie McSkanger, manning the Great Lakes editorial desk for Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with 'ring of the anvil' dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding non-conformists, proto-nihilists and career radical revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
The Michigan State Senate in downtown Lansing last week passed a new bill which mandates that individuals convicted of having sex with animals – or using animals as part of a Masonic / Satanic cult sexual act (blood sacrifice / secret society initiation rituals) will henceforth be banned from legally owning a pet or working with animals for five years.
No shit, let's hope Broken Britain's House of Conmans adopt the same legislative measures – cos that will most definitely put a damper on the pervy pastimes of the likes of Lord Peter Scandalson and his 'vermin in ermine' House of Frauds pals - and if the spank-eyed, tax-dodging Baron Gashcroft is to be granted a minor modicum of credibility, then too the Tory's snob-rat oick of a Slime Minister, Posh Dave Scameron – who reputedly gets his jollies from blow jobs off dead pigs – (fellatia necrophus porkus).
Michigan State Senate Bill 219, also known as Logan’s Law - which is named in memory of an underage dachshund that was buggered to death by its canine-paedo abusive taxidermist owner – (then gutted and stuffed and turned into a front door draught excluder) - passed by a 37-1 vote and is headed to the House Judiciary Committee for ratification – along with an attached 'small print' covert clause that oral and anal sex among Michigan citizens is henceforth verboten.
Thus, while pet owners and farmers might well be rejoicing over the passage of the bill, residents of the Werewolf State – heterosexuals and homo faggots alike - who enjoy a good suck n swallow gamarouche and / or bout of bum sex, are bound to be super pissed off with the final paragraphs of the 21-page bill:
'A person who commits the abominable and detestable crime of sodomy against nature (unnatural carnal copulation) - either with a man or woman or with any animal – including fish - is guilty of a felony'.
The wording of the bill, drafted by a team of bipartisan sponsors, is problematic for defining sodomy as both anal and oral sex – and equating both acts with bestiality, despite the fact that they (usually) take place between consenting humans - and are forthwith punishable with a 15 year jail sentence (in one of the US's notorious bumboy paradise prisons).
Michigan remains one of the twelve of fifty states that still have sodomy bans on the books, despite a ruling from the Supreme Court that okays blow jobs and anal sex between consenting adults – but not sheep.
So the gospel according to Senate Bill 219, a good old gam' - and anal sex -constitute immoral and abominable acts and are henceforth forbidden carnal fruits – with each other and / or stray dogs and cats. Conversely, most conspicuous by its absence in the bill, is the fact there's no provision for a parallel ban on incest nor kiddie fiddling.
Doubtless this latest affront to personal liberty in the Land of the Free will be swallowed whole by the dumb-arsed common herd collective that the American
population have evolved into due the black propaganda and treasonous acts of the ruling elite – an Ivy League WASP establishment controlled by a shitbag paedo-faggot cabal of Satanists, originally led by the Brothers Dulles and the Rockefeller clan – who, with their equally maleficent cohorts, conspired to murder Jack, then Bobby, then Martin then Malcolm, then Marley, then Lennon .... and on and on ... to the Neo-Con PNAC / 9/11 killing spree, designed to open up the Middle East and Africa to a generation of strategic hegemony military conflicts and the control of a conquered sovereign nation's fossil fuel resources.
Three hundred million Yanks – and due their macho self-righteous claptrap, they deserve each other so badly. This once-proud nation of rebellious empire-smashing iconoclasts have since devolved at a rate of knots into a bunch of bully boy cave dweller thugs that would make Cro-Magnon look like Homo Superior - beating up on Third World no-chancers – and still not winning a single match – always trounced as second-placers yet deluded by their own Nixonite 'peace with honour' bullshit.
They elected Dodger Bill twice, the moronic Bush twice, and twice again for this alien Afro-Indonesian Muslim faggot impostor, Barky – a Zionist stooge saddled with a pre-op' transgender 'wife' - Muscles Mike. And if it wasn't for master of deception 'Stan the Man' Kubrick, NASA would never have put a man on the moon.
To wit, just look who's in the running for the office of the Presidency this November: Trump and the Mena Mafia Matriarch – Hilarious Rodent Clinton. Hey, the circus has come to town, and Bernie Saunders has no chance – he's that most rare and unique of political creatures - an honest man.
And that folks, is that. Blow jobs and bum sex are out for the count in Michigan.
Thought for the day. On the subject of felching, Lord Scandalson of the Cottagers was branded with the disparaging sobriquet of 'Pet Shop Pete' while acting as New Labour PM Gordon 'Cyclops' Broon's Business Secretary, and some whistle-blowing snitch at MI5, out to ruffle a few feathers and stir the shit, circulated a medical report from a Paris hospital where Scandalson had reputedly been examined for a 'colonic obstruction' – which turned out to be a most irate and inconsolable hamster who has been fed a shot of crystal meth' then shoved up the dirty bastard's back passage during a Masonic felching ritual (apparently by fellow fudger, Nutty Natty Rothshite) - and suffered a bowel-rage 'let me out!' scratching tantrum episode when it realised it was trapped up a faggot's arse.
Carbon Credits Cap & Trade Offset Exchange (aka Global Warming / Climate Change Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: While a hefty score of conscience-stifled rabid royals, noncing nobles, politico paedo ponces, bent money-laundering lawyers and corruption-ridden porky plods might have become collateral 'fear and alarm' casualties and thrown into paranoid psychosis states of scandalous exposure anxiety attacks, no innocent non-combatant women and kids - and especially so Syrian refugee children – or trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees, small furry 'felcher friendly' sized mammals – ferrets, stoats, polecats, voles and moles, white mice, bum rats, chinchillas, hamsters, guinea pigs, gerbils, miniature coypus, dwarf beavers, etc – were harmed in posting this insurrectionist Truthsayer epistle.
Conversely, a large number of the NSA - GCHQ / Five Eyes Alliance’s Prism / Tempora / Carnivore / Echelon / X-Keyscore / SIG-INT I-Spy super snooper ‘Nosy Bastard’ wire-tap / IMSI catchers / eavesdropping / Eco-Giraffe data mining / TOR sniffing / JTRIG / Umbra Ultra-encrypted system’s nasty network electrons on Hubble Bubble Road in EMF smog-bound Cheltenham were shocked into high anxiety states and temporarily inconvenienced.
Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with wild rumour 'and' hard public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Raving Rupert Mudrock's News Corp and the uber-racist Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence - (unless one has the audacity to dare expose, name and shame the membership ranks of Scotland's Masonic Speculative Society 'Nonce Ponce' Magic Circle / Violate BD/SM Club kiddie fiddling cabal – along with their Holyrood Parliament / Crown Office sodomite / paedo-enablers and cover-up protectors).
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