UKIP Growing Third (or First) Force?

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Regardless of perjurious denials to the contrary issued to satiate the scandal-frenzy thirst of persistent gutter press hacks from the Daily Shitraker, the huff n puff mandarin hierarchy manning the battlements and drawbridge at the Conservative Party's Matthew Parker Street HQ have now gone into Devcon Two crisis mode following the latest round of resignations and defections by turncoat Tory MPs and party faithful moneybags donors.

The alarm bells factor hiked up a couple of notches when it was discovered that the defectors are avoiding New Labour and the Lib-Dums like the proverbial plague but joining the ranks of that political bogeyman UKIP instead: a fearsome socio-political organ seen by many common herd voters - those still in possession of two functioning brains cells to rub together - as the last bastion of hope for retaining Britain's sovereign national identity before the Brussels-based kleptocrats get chance to impose their planned regional boundaries - and Devon becomes part of France, Norfolk linked with Holland and Kent cops a Belgian post code - and the Jobcentre is totally infested with begging pikey and gyppo migrants from the ne'er-do-well ex-Communist Eastern bloc states.

Tory MPs continue to desert the foundering not-fit-for-purpose Con-Dem / Libservative coalition ship of state like canny rats gifted with the power of clairvoyance where next May's election results are concerned, and see no future with Captain 'Man Tits' Dave at the helm - or defecting to pariah status New Labour under the current aegis of the Wallace n Gromit team of child prodigy Commissar Ed Millipede and Fast Eddy Ballsup - or the equally leprous Lib-Dums under the leadership of the serial pledge-breaking Mick 'Forked Tongue' Clogg.

Nope, the party of popular choice for the turncoats is UKIP, with none other than the indestructible Nigel Barrage as their bannerman - the Tory's latest bête noire and the survivor of political conflicts on many fronts - not least the Brussels EUSSR battlefield - plus airplane crashes galore, with nary a hair out of place and his underpants still in pristine condition.

While Barrage once fostered a determined ambition for his UK Independence Party to replace the slapstick Librarian-Dummercrats as the 'third force' in national politics, Broken Britain's ubiquitous High Street bookies, Flatbrokes, are giving generous odds that due the continuing fuck ups foisted by this moronic Con-Dem mess of a coalition that come next May then UKIP could well be placed as the favourite 'first force' to win the general election.

In a pathetic bid to downplay the current snowballing defections trend, the Tory's moronic House of Conmans leader Willy Vague opined to media hacks that the fact a few non-entity back bench Tories had switched alliances to the Barrage Gang and former Tory donor, multi-zillionaire Shiteside Insurance / 3D skipping ropes inventor / tycoon Arron Banks, had yesterday also absconded to UKIP, taking his cornucopia of ready cash with him - was 'small potatoes' - dismissing the defections as 'insignificant'.

Responding to Vague's imprudent and obnoxious remarks, and for making a joke at his expense, Mr Banks countered this ridicule by spitefully upping his initial donation to UKIP's election war chest by the power of ten - from a mere £100,000 to a round robin £1,000,000 nicker - what greedy banksters refer to as 'lots and lots of money'.

Yep, counting in the £1 million nicker gift from another disillusioned 'former' Tory donor, Paul Sykes, that's a cool £2 million quid the Tory election campaign machine 'isn't' 'getting - and the UKIP Mafia are - all thanks to the unqualified arrogance and an ill-tempered statement from this 'insignificant' closet case sodomite Willy Vague - a failed party leader cum Rothshite crime syndicate Zionist stooge - hanging on to the threadbare vestiges of political power - like the equally abhorrent DWP Secretary, Iain Dunkin-Shit.

Arron Banks’ embarrassing announcement, made alongside UKIP leader Nigel Barrage, came as Posh Dave Scameron delivered a blunt warning to disillusioned Tories at their party conference that a flirtation with the UKIP anti-Christ at the next general election could lead to a Millipede-led New Labour government - here wholly overlooking the fact that 'flirtation with UKIP' might well lead to a Barrage-led UKIP government - and our once-sceptred isle - this pre-fracked green and pleasant land - finally out of Brussels graft and corruption infested EUSSR bully boy community.

Following the Eurosceptic UKIP's annual conference at Smegmadale-on-Sea last week, Nigel Barrage is definitely seen as the UK's political pointsman to be watched - and without a shadow of doubt a credible governing political alternative to the showers of shit Broken Britain's voters are currently saddled with - party of self-interest Tories, scumbag Whigs that became Liberals into Social Democraps - and now morphed into Librarian-Dummercrats - and not forgetting incompetent New Labour for all their sins - past and present.

The gospel according to St Nigel states: "The EUSSR is no longer an academic debate as it’s affecting the British public in every single aspect of their miserable lives and a daily point of heated anarchistic discussion for commuters, people waiting in queues at the Jobcentre, and forever a topic of controversy at bankruptcy hearings.”

“I mean, let’s simply look at the facts – it’s a 27 nation insolvency fubar, bollocks deep in perpetual debt and run by a bunch of foreign types, most of whom, such as the poxy Germans and fickle French are our historical enemies – plus not forgetting our insular sceptred isle of Albion has never been a part of Europe – and southern England is definitely not a part of this ridiculous ‘Arc Manche’ region with northern France that Brussels is trying to foist on us to murder our national identity.”

While being an elected MEP, Barrage remains a devout Eurosceptic and a fierce critic of the corruption-ridden edifice that only serves the interests of the few to the detriment of the many. Further, due his constructive criticisms of the Brussels kleptocracy he is a particular annoying thorn in the side of the EUSSR President, the wretched Catweazle-look-alike, Herman van Rumpy-Pumpy - a man so stricken by negative Karma and total lack of personality that last November his sense of humour transplant rejected him.

So nice one all round Nigel, but alas, by the same rule he's probably now topping MI5's assisted suicide / fatal heart attack hit list due his stated blue collar vote policies of revoking Britain's crippling EUSSR membership, hoofing out sponging EU pikey immigrants and other foreign swan poachers - along with slamming down on the current Whitehall / Westminster culture of fostering Israeli ZioNazi war crimes / genocide apologist policy 'and' pledging to stage an all-encompassing national inquiry into the scandalous suppression of historical and topical child sexual abuse investigations - with a guarantee that no whitewash merchants of the Butler-Sloshed / Fiona Woolf conflict of interest calibre would be appointed to the board of inquiry and kiddie fiddling ex-cabinet ministers would be getting their collars felt - no matter which Masonic lodge or BD/SM club they belonged to or who their neighbours were.

As he informed the party faithful at the UKIP conference - and any other fucker and their dog who might have wandered in to shelter from the rain: "We need to call a halt to these latter day imperialist schemes - these neo-colonial wars of aggression that are depleting our national budget and the cause of welfare benefit cuts."

"This ISIS excuse in Iraq's simply an excuse to invade Syria by the back door which Scameron's gone into with no exit strategy in mind. For fuck's sake how about an 'entry strategy' to begin with apart from this "let's bomb some nasty ISIS ragheads" bluster - which is all an excuse to devastate Syria's infrastructure - same as Iraq and Libya - both fucked up beyond all recognition - then cut loose and leave a nightmare of socio-political mayhem and chaos in their departing wake - with Dirty Dick Cheney's old pals 'no-tender' Scalliburton on hand to repair the damage at some exorbitant cost - all charged to the IMF or World Bank - with a price tag levelled in usurious measures of socio-political compliance - plus interest."

"Look towards Afghanistan as the perfect example, much the same as it was previously - the Taliban undefeated and centralised government a kleptocracy - with any semblance of a Kabul-based federal authority being more at scent than substance - and warlords ruling their respective tribal fiefdoms."
"Britain under New Labour and this pisspottical Con-Dem Tory / Lib-Dum mess of a coalition have been blackmailed and coerced into backing the Great Satan US wars of aggression to achieve and maintain military hegemony for the ZioNazi kikesters in Israel (formerly Palestine) and pushing forward their Protocols of the Greedy Bastard Elders of Zion agenda on orders from the Rothshite crime syndicate - and when UKIP get into Downing Street that's all going to stop."

Thought for the day. Next May, vote UKIP and say fuck it to Brussels and a federalised EUSSR Stasi state - and the Zionist scumsters New World Order.

Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area and whilst purposely blending slanderous comments and unbridled conjecture with wild rumour and hard facts, may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.