Wednesday, 15 October 2014

ISIS Wars: A Circus Without a Tent

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ blood n guts edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Obviously not satisfied by the catastrophic risks involved with Tory MP Philip 'Dandruff' Hammond holding the Defence Ministry post and having access to all manner of military nasties - up to and including nukes - the pisspot party hierarchy have now slotted the useless dingbat into Willy 'Fudger' Vague's old job as Foreign Secretary - a position from which he can cause a pick n mix variety of major diplomatic incidents on a Biblical proportions scale and alienate entire swathes of global dignitaries - starting this week with Iraq's Hot Ba'ath Kleptocracy Party Prime Minister, Mr Shifty al-Abadegg.

Speaking in Baghdad following a glad-handing session with the country's new Shi'ite leader, Hammond once again failed to engage brain before opening mouth and announced his hopes that bonny Nonceland's recent decision to reject independence in preference to staying under a Westminster-based Sassenach jackboot would inspire an ethnically-fragmented Iraq to remain united also - even though the Balkanised mess of a region is aflame with sectarian strife and internecine military conflicts.

Speaking at a joint press conference with Iraqi Foreign Minister Ibrahim al-Jamjari, the imbecilic Hammond, while pausing only to massage his inflated ego, stated for the public record "I hope that regardless of your troops pretending to fight the Takfiri ISIS death cult terrorists in the war-ravaged Kurdish breakaway region, the experience of Scotland's diverse kilted clans wanting to stay a part of the UK will be an inspirational model for all the quarrelling tribes of Iraq - and your ethnic groups vote to become part of our ever-expanding EU Federation."

"We in the British government realise only too well that besides the ISIS Caliphate terrorist rebels controlling the Jaffa Cake mines at Raqqa and much else of the key Anbar province in north-western Iraq - plus besieging the border city of Kobane and torching this year's lemon kurd crops - that you have internal conflict problems with the Sunni and Cher Muslim sects falling out with the Shits and the Shites - much as we did in Protestant Britain persecuting the Papist Roman Catholics before we used the Recusancy Act to categorised them as second class citizens."

"But you need to get your proverbial crap together and drive these Jolly Jihad scally beardies out and back into Syria - where they're needed to oust Basher Assad's regime - and so we can regain control of our oil wells and pacify the likes of the Carlyle Group and the Rothshite crime syndicate's Genel Energy and all the other corporate plunderers such as that zillionaire Turkey, Emin Karamehmet, going into hyper-whinge mode and ringing up Downing Street 24/7 about their loss of oil and gas revenues."

Confirming the UK Government's current position that there'll be no British 'boots on the ground' in Iraq (or Syria - until the time is ripe) while there are still Kurdish Peshmerga troops willing to do the right thing and sacrifice their lives fighting against the ISIS Caliphate fanatics, Hammond confided to a gutter press hack from the Warmongers Gazette his asinine belief that "This 'no British boots' policy of Posh Dave Scameron's means the heavy work is going to have to be done by Iraq's craven military - or a covert force of 22 SAS troopers wearing flip-flops or wellies" - thus confirming beyond a reasonable doubt that he is a total dog wanker - Q.E.D.

This latest delusional piece of moronic rhetoric follows fast on the heels of his last major snafu - wrongly claiming that Broken Britain - unlike the sneaky scumbag Israelis and US - has so far discounted dropping bombs on Syrian civilians in an attempt to scarify President Basher al Assad into doing a runner and turning the civil war stricken nation over to a pre-picked Western puppet - Mr Mohammed al Stooge, leader of the prevailing rebel Al Nusra Useful Idiots Party.

Really, where the fuck do they get these pillocks from - by shaking the trees round Parliament Square and using bananas as bait? With cabinet ministers hitting the hapless taxpayer's purse for an annual salary of £134,565 quid - plus extravagant expenses - is this the best that money can buy? A tosspot of Hammond's lacklustre ilk?
Obviously so, if we consider the presence of the genetically-modified mongrel likes of the DWP's Iain Dunkin Shit, the transvestite Home Secretary Terry 'Halitosis' May, and Minister for Cellulite, Eric 'Porky' Pickles in Scameron's Con-Dem coalition cabinet - chocker block full of pariah quality Fraggle Rock mutant refugees.

Thus while Hammond & Co prepare to target the mass media and public perceptions with a fresh wave of pro-war propaganda saturation bombing - We, The People, need to tear aside this veil of obfuscation which characterizes all that these empathy-devoid psychopathic bastards do, and insist they get a fucking grip on reality - as they can't - and won't - win a military conflict against a fast-of-foot guerrilla force with zero bases.
The quest for power has been a primary driving force throughout recorded history - an affliction that still holds as true today with the West's aggressive neo-colonial imperialist military misadventures around the world - in Africa and the Middle East particularly - and one the Anglo-Judeo Zionist imperium have set their sights on. Afghanistan - Iraq - Syria - Lebanon - then Iran.
Thus is the core value of the graft and corruption-ridden oligarchy's Project for a New American Century (read Protocols of the Greedy Bastard Elders of Zion agenda).

Oh yes, the writing's been on the wall for a long fucking time. Yet another foreign war of aggression by our Decepticon coalition government (blame New Labour and the toerag Tories) - and this latest intrusion into Iraq / Syria as a stepping stone for Iran is a monument to their neo-colonial vanity - and spendthrift extravagance with the hapless taxpayer's cash. The neo-con's culture of endless war driven by the Mammon-worship engine of material greed - a ZioNazi globalist's wet dream come true.

Thought for the day. So Hammond, while stricken with cancer of the personality, and being the type of knobhead who could fuck up a perfectly good anvil, is still intent on ignoring the dictates of common sense and supports this stream of propaganda touting the threadbare humanitarian intervention excuse to justify the invasion of Syria - by first imposing a 'no-fly zone' - even though the ISIS bogeymen don't have any aircraft - but will finally provide the excuse to shoot down the villainous President Basher Assad's war planes and helicopter gunships - and unleash a 'boots on the ground' invasion of Syria.
Mind you, mainstream media reporting from the area has been subjected to a truth-deficient 'no-fly zone' for quite some time.

This all-consuming drive for ZioNazi geo-political and strategic military hegemony across the Mid-East region - to control the natural resources of other sovereign states, will come to naught - and be avenged ten fold by the bloodied ISIS Jihadist hand of Benaiah - and another grand imperial plot will disappear down the rabbit hole of history along with the outlaw state of Israel - and too the pathetic Tory / Lib-Dum 'Losers Party' coalition, come next May.

Regardless of all the propaganda hype and scaremongering bullshit viz the ISIS Caliphate's Jolly Jihad terrorist types, freshly battle-hardened from military service (decapitating journalists with a bread knife) in Iraq and Syria, bent on returning to Broken Britain with the intent of 'breaking' it some more with a bunch of Ebola bombs targeting our reviled 'democratic freedoms' - why not simply copy the suggested sentence for the psycho trigger-happy femicidal gimp Oscar Pisstoffious and slap them with a Community Service Order - plus a 7 to 7 night-time curfew?

Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area and whilst purposely blending slanderous comments and unbridled conjecture with wild rumour and hard facts, may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.


Woz said...

Any truth to the rumour that Bono's name has been put forward as Ambassador to the IS Caliphate - to negotiate the release of Western hostages - and in the hope the Beatles Jihadi Four will chop his bloated ego head off too.

wiggins said...

@ Woz......

If only.....he could maybe take 'Sor' Bob with him as well.

Bodger said...

The UK / US don't give a fuck about eliminating any threat from ISIS - only controlling the threat and turning them into a rebel force focused on the overthrow of Syria's Assad regime.