Scameron Boycotts Boycott for Hague

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

In a sycophantic Tory Party conference faux pas that still stinks of nepotistic favouritism versus poor judgement, PM Posh Dave Scameron decided his choice of the greatest living Yorkshire-person was neither Dame Judy Stench nor ex-England cricketer Geoff Boycott but the pro-Rothshite crime syndicate ZioNazi apologist stooge cum Israeli arse-licker, Willy Vague - whose only claim to fame (read 'infamy') is being yet another failed Tory Party leader (Iain Dunkin Shit / Michael 'Vlad' Howard) who never went the distance (a paltry four year stint) - along with unconvincing denials of being a closet case bumboy.

Tory leadership under Vague's command will be best remembered (or forgotten) viz his moronic Listening to Britain campaign - a pathetic 'fingers in the ears' attempt to put the Conservatives back in touch with the common herd voting public after losing political office in the 1997 elections - and being - quote - 'profoundly influenced by the 'compassionate, conservatism ideology' of Texas Governor, George Dubya Bush - (holder of the Guinness World Record for signing off on Death Row executions in the Lone Star State).

Vague's overdue stand down resignation finally came in the embarrassing wake of the 2001 election - in which the Tories gained one solitary seat over their disastrous 1997 ballot box message.

After copping a barrage of protests-on-steroids flack from outraged members of Broken Britain's voting demographic over his choosing a total loser as the greatest living Yorkshireman, Scameron has now gone into apology mode (nothing unusual there) and had Downing Street spokeswoman Scabby Bertin write to Mr Boycott to sooth his offended fragile ego, and explain why he missed out on this dubious honour - with the media advised that this had nothing to do with Boycott not going to Eton or being a member of Oxford's Bullingdon Vandals Club - or a life-long Labour voter.

While Boycott might be cursed with the well-earned stigma of being a bit of an all-round gobshite during his halcyon on-field batting and later commentator days, during 18 years of first class international Test match cricket played from 1964 to 1982, he compiled a total of 48,426 spiffing runs, including 8,114 in Test matches.

And that is more than can be said for the Rotherham dog wanker Willy Vague - that history will perhaps deservedly record as the Zionist stooge who, in the post of Foreign Secretary, forced through the House of Conmans changes to the universal jurisdiction arrest laws so Israeli war criminals such as the spank-eyed Tipsy Livid could visit our green and pleasant land without fear of getting collared and cuffed for their human rights violation sins against the hapless victim Palestinian populations of the occupied West Bank and Gaza Strip - the latter still besieged behind the outlaw racist state's 30-odd foot high Great Apartheid Wall in the biggest concentration camp on the planet.

Alternatives proposed for top Yorkshireman (or Yorkshirewoman - who she?) included Captain Cook; Amy Johnson; the Bronte sisters; poet laureate Ted Hughes; singer Jarvis Cocker; Olympic athletes the Brownlee brothers - along with Jessica Ennis; actor James Mason; high octane motor-mouth Jeremy Clarkson; Freddy Trueman; Brian Clough; Monty Pythonist Michael Palin - and not forgetting the infamous 'Yorkshire Ripper' - Peter Sutcliffe - who was nominated by the Serial-Killers-R-Us website - nor Leeds-born paedophile Jimmy Savile - nominated by both the BBC and the Barnes Kiddie Fiddlers Club.

Thought for the day. From a personal angle I would have tossed my vote for anti-slavery crusader William Wilberforce - who obviously Posh Dave Scameron has never heard of - or the fact slavery has been abolished.

Regardless, overlooking Vague's onanist existence - and the meteoric Boycott's opening batsman prowess and tenacity besides - Guy Fawkes still comes in a dead cert' favourite - for his innovative scheme to 'restructure' Parliament - a plan that alas fell short of the fulminant outcome required to rid our once-sceptred isle of a troublesome Nonceland Stuart monarch and his graft and corruption-ridden ministers.

Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area and whilst purposely blending slanderous comments and unbridled conjecture with wild rumour and hard facts, may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

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