Fallon Wins Multiple Faux Pas Prize

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ political felo-de-se edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Defenceless Minister Michael 'Loose Lips' Fallon yesterday admitted to a gutter press hack from the Gobshites Gazette that he might possibly have made a fatal career move and publicly misspoken during an interview with Raving Rupert Mudrock's degenerate Shite News channel when warning that some areas of Broken Britain are being literally swamped with welfare benefit scrounging immigrants from the Third World shithole begging bowl member states of the dystopian EUSSR's 28 nation community.

In an act of obvious self-preservation, the fatally faux pas prone Fallon related he had perhaps "used politically incorrect words I wouldn't normally have spoken out loud had I engaged brain before opening my big mouth" - by telling the truth in fact, that our once green and pleasant 'pre-fracked' land has been slowly but surely getting overrun with all manner of unwashed foreign types waving British 'right to abode' documents since the fall of Empire's Day, circa 1945 / 1947, and the close of play for World War Two's last over, with Germany out for a duck and Japan admitted to being out-batted after the barbaric nuclear destructions of Hiroshima and Nagasaki by US military psychopaths.

This so-called 'migration tsunami'- to use an over-cliched phrase - does present a worrying mission creep trend that has accelerated at a geometric rate since the arrival of a legion of Patels from Uganda in Idi Amin's 1972 Gujarati 'dukawallah phobia' crack-down (plus their distant relatives from 'back home' and every other fucker and their dog on their Christmas card lists who can rustle up a half-decent tikka masala on a take-away hotplate) - along with the Tories committing the treasonable act of allowing our sceptred isle to become a submissive minion state of the Brussels-based EUSSR Federation monster - thus sanctioning the scrounging pikey dregs of Europe their visa-less cross-border access to our recession-stricken job markets and fractured NHS / welfare systems.

Obviously buoyed into a false sense of political omnipotence by Posh Dave Scameron's knee jerk announcement to limit the arrivals of droves of gyppo and pikey scroungers from across the EUSSR by applying the emergency brake and declining the allocation of a National Insurance number to migrants unless they arrive with a bulging wallet, a confirmed B & B reservation and the documented, guaranteed assurance of a 'start Monday' job - Fallon transgressed the unwritten code and called a spade 'a spade' - even if it was more of a shovel - (and a pikey migrant shovel to boot) - explaining that the drug dealing and whore-pimping elements of his Sevenoaks constituency had complained they'd been forced out of their regular street corner pitches by the recent influx of eastern European Mafia types.

Conversely Fallon's latest gaffe has been seized on with positive approval by the Yea factions of the darkie-hating EDL and BNP and Kaffir-Watch UK - but negatively by the Nay elements of political opposition - and condemned as racist and hate-mongering - with Labour leader Ed Millipede opining that Fallon looks to be headed for a similar Plebgate style fate as the ego-stricken, tax-dodging Andrew 'Armajaro' Mitchell - the Tory's very short lived (45 day) Chief Whip wunderkind.

Ron McScrote, spokesman for Kaffir-Watch UK, wearing his trademark 'Gyppos Ate Me Pit Bull' sweatshirt, informed media hacks that "Fer fucks sake, don't these clots ever engage brain before openin' their effin' gobs? He's startin' ter sound like his predecessor Philip 'Dandruff' Hammond, another moron wiv next ter fuck all active intelligence bein' processed between his ears."
"Mind you, apart from bein' yet another Tory tosspot frog wot dreams of bein' a toad, the bloke's got a fuckin' good point - wot wiv all them swan-roastin' Albanian kiddie snatchers takin' over the child sex traffic trade fer the Middle East Arab paedo market - an' the likes of these Polack 'Ripoff Radzic' buildin' services monopolisin' the plumbin' an' roofin' an' domestic appliance repair scene there's no effin' way we can make a tax-dodge cash-in-hand few quid anymore."

Likewise, Bev Titwank, director of the EDL's Smegmadale Patriots had this to say on the subject of Fallon's impropriety. "Now if any of us fuckers in the public demographic sector had said wot Fallon did, we'd be up on racial hatred charges - an' here we have the conundrum of the arrestable class and the unarrestable class – cos the PTB labour under the misapprehension that crimes by members of their pseudo-aristocratic elite - even dog wankers like Fallon - must be swept under the rug as prosecutin' them would destabilise the system."

"Hey, this wave of Muslim jihadist types an' welfare benefit scroungin' migrants is the entire recipe concept for the creation of a dysfunctional society - the EUSSR Federation's end game divide an' conquer scam - an' decimate any sense of national identity an' pride wot we have left. This scumbag Con-Dem coalition mess of a government - like New Labour before them - are hell bent on the creation an' maintenance of a dysfunctional society an' the wholesale disruption of our traditional British cultural values an' way of life is on the agenda. They're out ter 'indigenize' our Anglo-Saxon society - wot means forcin' local cultures ter adopt a foreign one wot's totally alien ter our way if life."
"These bastards are out ter destroy the four pillars of our human identity - the four major collective forces of Race, Religion, Family and Nation."

Thought for the day. Fuck the EUSSR and the floods of rabid scrounging migrants. Come next May - vote UKIP.

Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with wild rumour 'and' hard public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

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