Tuesday, 7 October 2014

WTF: Retire at 100 / Pay for NHS Beds?

In this morning’s 'Incitement to Revolution' edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Acting on direct orders from his Tory pondscum boss, DWP Minister Iain Dunkin Shit, the Lib-Dum pensions minister, Steve 'Spider' Webb, yesterday informed a gutter press hack from the Daily Shitraker that those lucky enough to still have a job in recession-stricken Broken Britain must bow to politically-dictated fate and accept longer working lives in order to avoid a health care funding crisis for the 'sickie' contingent of our fucked up society.

Henceforth - if the scatster Tory hierarchy / Office for Budget Responsibility / Rothshite bankster crime syndicate get their wicked way - female and male members of the common herd reaching their respective 'once set in stone' retirement ages of 60 or 65 will now be mandated to work longer under a devious government scam to increase the average retirement point by six months per annum - an issue that - typically - 'will not' affect House of Conmans MPs - whose statuary retirement age will remain static at 65.

Webb admitted the target is ambitious to the point of being an onanists wet dream but claims that if some hapless moron works an extra five years - until they reach their Biblical 'three score and ten' - they can add 10% to their pension for life - even though they'll probably die of some job-related ailment - such as exhaustion or chronic fatigue - before they're able to collect much in the way of pension payments.

For the next Tory 'thinking the unthinkable' slap in the electorates' face, the National Ill-Health Service are planning to charge for hospital beds.
The gospel according to the dog wanker currently posing as Tory Minister of Health, Jeremy Kunt - an all-round failure whatever government post he slithers into - the NHS plan to start charging patients for the hotel costs of their hospital stay if the current health service’s looming cash flow crisis - caused by this serial profligacy of robbing Peter to pay Paul inasmuch as financing aggressive military actions in Iraq and Syria - isn't resolved sooner more so than later.

So, WTF is Jeremy Kunt's job description as the Secretary of State with overall responsibility for the work of the Department of Health - and a l'oeil du maitre duty towards the blighted British public? According to the 'Vote Conservative' ad's, to provide strategic leadership for public health, the NHS and social care in England, all focused around five Tory-stated key priorities: compassionate care; transparency; dementia; technology and better care.

Alas, like much else in their lacklustre welfare benefits-slashing performance since May 2010, maintaining the NHS is another area of socio-political obligation and commitment this mess of a Con-Dem / Libservative coalition isn't fit for purpose on - unless it involves okaying £7,400 quid pay raises for themselves while Joe Public & Co are stuck in a persistent déjà vu 0% pay freeze situation.

Beds besides, NHS waiting times - A& E or otherwise - are abysmal for starters, regardless of pledges to rectify an easily solvable problem = less funding for foreign wars and overseas aid - and more for the welfare state.

Thus as NHS funding fails to keep up with patient demand, these inept scumsters in the House of Conmans need a sharp shock and awe slap round the back of the heads and be reminded that charity begins at home - not in some drought-stricken African shithole or meddling in the ethnic cleansing / sectarian conflict affairs of Mid-East Islamic Arab states. If they want to kill each other, no problems - let the fuckers get on with it - and pick up the pieces when they're done.

Dr Freddy Patel, director of Lancashire's prestigious Hyde-based Harold Shipman Centre for Medical Excellence, opined to a press hack from the Hypochondriacs Gazette that the NHS was on the point of a catastrophic implosion due the parlous state of the health service’s finances which was also casting a negative pall on over-stretched GP surgeries.
"It's no good that Chancellor Osborne occasionally kicks a few quid lump sum our way. What we need is a budgetary pledge that will remedy the looming £30 billion nicker deficit in the NHS’ finances for the 2014-2015 fiscal period."

Thought for the day. Well, that's the concept of National Insurance contributions out of the window. Fend for yourself and fuck all others.
Taken singularly or as a paired brace of gross miscalculations, this retirement age / NHS bed charge shite is the weaning fodder of budding anarchists - and the casus belli for bloody and violent revolutions.

Hey all you teenage apprentices and 20-year olds - this means your retirement date doesn't kick in until reaching 70. So, do you plan on working until you drop dead on the job - or still retire at 65 and enjoy the diminished quality of life your zero welfare benefits reduced circumstances will provide?
How about hospital visits? To ensure you get around NHS incompetence and have a bed when your name comes up on the end-of-life Scouseland Care Pathway why not buy a sleeping bag now while stocks last.

As an aside, anyone notice the wall banner logo behind the train fare dodging Chancellor George Osborne, while stood at the podium at their recent Tory Party conference? 'Securing a better future' (Yeah - for rich n shameless).

Regardless, fuck the Freemasons and Big Brother – and his sister – and the New World Order.

Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area and whilst purposely blending slanderous comments and unbridled conjecture with wild rumour and hard facts, may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

1 comment:

McDuff said...

The tosspot Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has bin on the radio n telly, assuring a panic-stricken UK public that if the Ebola virus hits Britain then the NHS is up to dealing with a major epidemic - mo problems.
For fuck's sake, no sod is even mentioning what strain of Ebola is doing the rounds (cos it's all a scare-mongering scam and they don't know) as it's only Ebola Zaire that's airborne contagious.
As to the NHS being up to the task - WTF? The A & E departments can't even deal with a an outbreak of Saturday night scally piss up / drunken fight and drug overdose patients, let alone some exotic tropical virus that travels on sneezes.