Guardian Hacks Guilty of High Treason

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Assistant Commissioner Cressida Dickhead - who since her 2005 ‘promotion’ for gross incompetence following the London Underground 7/7 false flag Islamophobia terror bombings now heads the Met Plod Squad’s ‘Witch Hunt Unit’ - yesterday confirmed that journalists at the gutter press Daily Shitraker news tabloid are being investigated by the anti-terrorism squad concerning their alleged roles in the publication of swathes of highly embarrassing NSA ‘global eavesdropping’ (paranoid spying culture) documents leaked by maverick moral conscience whistleblower Edward Snowden.

Daily Shitraker employees, up to and including the tea lady, janitor and printing floor cat, could face criminal charges over their roles in publishing dirty secrets leaked by the Great Satan’s Public Enemy Number One, the traitorous Snowden – with Broken Britain’s most senior counter-terrorism officer, AC Dickhead, informing one press hack from the Payback Gazette that a contingent of the Met’s ‘plods in suits’ CID officers were conjuring up evidence to charge newspaper staff with committing potential breaches of some vague anti-terrorism legislation which would hopefully make it illegal to communicate information highlighting the amateurish bunglings of British intelligence agents – an offence that will carry a penalty of up to 1,000 years’ imprisonment.

Canny activists from the Snafu-Watch government abuse sentinel have posted comments on their website to remind the public of Ms Dickhead’s ‘up close and personal’ involvement with the infamous 2005 Stockton Tube Station ‘Pop-a-Brazilian’ fubar – when she issued that politically-incorrect order for the Met’s trigger-happy SO19 Armed Response Thug Unit morons to snuff every foreign-looking electrician in the Greater London area – on the off-chance they might be members of a Jolly Jihad Islamic terrorist cell, bent on the destruction of Western Democracy.

In a pathetic attempt to put the ‘frighteners’ on Shitraker journalist staff by resorting to school playground bully style scaremongering tactics, Dickhead provided testimony to the House of Conmans ‘What Can We Fuck With Next' Committee, stating for the public record “It appears possible, once we look at the material through a microscope, that some of the newspaper staff – or their family and friends – or someone on their Christmas card list – or people they met on holiday - may have committed offences by tweeting about the Snowden revelations – which is going to involve a huge amount of creative evidence fiddling before we can make any arrests where the charges will actually stick better than Poundland blue tack.”

Questioned by Michael ‘Gobshite’ Ellis MP if her team were also reviewing possible breaches of the Orwellian ‘Terrorism Prevention and Investigation Measures Act’ which now makes it a criminal offence to ‘elicit, publish or communicate’ any and all information concerning members of the intelligence services, however obscure or remote – Dickhead replied “Yes, indeed, we’re considering that angle as a potential blanket charge to close the newspaper down and seize all the Snowden materials not yet published to avoid further embarrassment to the Scameron government and our American cousins.”

Alan Rusbridger, looking more like a Giles cartoon caricature of Harry Potter’s grand-dad than the Daily Shitraker’s editor, during a Q & A session before the Parliamentary inquisition committee was grilled by the ridiculous Mark ‘Pisspot’ Reckless MP as to why he was hell bent on publishing the contents of the 58,000 documents leaked to his newspaper by Snowden – simply replied “As the content is ‘scandalously newsworthy’ and falls within the public interest domain.”

The beleaguered editor provided an equally reciprocal and fitting reply to a question from committee chairman Keith ‘Mr Fix-It’ Vaz, the Labour MP for Man Tits, whether he was a patriot and loved this country – responding with “Yes I do – and that’s why we’re publishing these scandalous documented reports of this most disturbing phenomenon of intrusive 24/7 state surveillance by the sinister Neo-Con ZioNazi entities controlling the machinations of Western government systems that are being expedited against the voting public demographic at every level and aspect of their daily existence – personal and private – work and play.”

“We even have evidence of this Kafkaesque Homeland Insecurity-run NSA – a foreign intelligence agency no less – albeit that of a NATO ally and purportedly benign – monitoring First Saver piggy bank accounts at the NatWest to check on the possible money laundering activities of Muslim children that might be related to terrorist funding activities. Now how daft and over-the-top pathetic is that, might we ask?”

With regard to Rusbridger’s statement, Downing Street Cabinet Office spokeswoman Scabby Bertin opined to media hacks that “Nothing we’ve heard today from Mr Rusbridger changes the facts or the Government’s position, as the Daily Shitraker’s publication of top secret documents has had a damaging effect on our national security credibility. For want of a more fitting metaphor, I’ll bet that terrorist boss Big Al Qaeda is sat in his Tora Bora time share cave lapping it all up like a fat ginger tomcat getting the cream off the milk."

Bollocks to all the ‘official admonishment’ crap being aimed at the Daily Shitraker and Snowden – ‘it is’ in the public interest for this scandalous information – these abuses of privacy – to be exposed and disseminated – and only via the machinations of whistleblowers like Bradley ‘Chelsea’ Manning and Edward Snowden – and organisations such as Anonymous and Julian Blancmange’s WickedLeaks and David Icke’s The People’s Voice TV station - will this Bolshie ‘fuck you’ thumbing of defiance against a corrupt offices of authority ever occur.

Edward Snowden might well be classed as a traitor – a terrorist – domestic / international or otherwise; yet the immutable truth is the fact he’s a Universal ‘hero’ for exposing the crimes and excesses of these PTB Illuminati elitist scumsters and their shape shifting shadow masters – the sinister Kuromaku. They are the criminals – not Snowden and his whistle-blowing ilk.

Plus it is the likes of the Daily Shitraker’s Rusbridger and Glenn Greenwald who couldn’t give a flying fuck, thinking outside the control box to make a stand – regardless of the dangers of suffering a similar fate to David Kelly or Robin Cook or that which Rolling Stone reporter Michael Hastings suffered last June for exposing the arrogant short-comings of US General Stuttering Stan McChrystal – and that alone puts them in the uncommon valour / public hero category.

Though Snowden’s leaks campaign has not just ripped the camouflage off an entire shebang of dirty doings but exposed the level and depth of their collective paranoia and suspicions of not so much the good ole US of A’s enemies but also their so-called ‘allies’ – and all endorsed, signed off and approved by that venal Harry Lennix clone in the White House Oval Office – the Darky Obama impostor.

Hence the matter of mutual trust of the US’s strategic global partners sort of goes out of the window when they’re running Sig-Int eavesdropping networks on every fucking thing that goes down - conversations personal, political and business – all to know the ins and outs of Riley’s arsehole - for the blackmail / extortion / coercion data harvesting potentials.

First they create a Data Protection Act then immediately abuse and break their own rules with blatant invasions of privacy – all on the threadbare ‘interests of national security’ excuse. These scumsters are so crooked and twisted that if they dropped down dead there would be no need to dig a hole and bury them, but simply wind them into the cemetery turf like a corkscrew.

Disseminating this top secret information into the public domain on a global scale – concerning the truth about the Zionist domination of Western governments – and the fact that the Rothshite bankster’s crime syndicate, the notorious Edomite Mafia, are the bottom-feeding scumbags behind the Illuminati and the New World Order – which is simply the re-branded version of the infamous Protocols of the Greedy Bastard Elders of Zion – is a de rigueur exercise to maintain the spirit of democracy – regardless of who the fuck it upsets.

It’s about time that Israel and rogue elements of the US and UK neo-con shadow governments were exposed for their responsibility for a veritable litany of false flag terrorist attacks dating back to the FBI / Murrah Building Oklahoma City bombing – then Mossad’s choreographed 9/11 High-Fiving WTC attack spectacular - all to drum up hatred for our Muslim brothers and justify a hundred years of aggressive war in some other poor fuckers back yard – to steal their natural resources and provide strategic military bases to facilitate senseless sabre-ratting exercises against the People’s Marxist Utopia of China.

Little wonder the Russians and President Vlad Putrid have extended their legendary hospitality and provided sanctuary / asylum – to Snowden and a troop of FSB / Spetznaz close-in security minders – in some cosy warm dacha with high end fibre optics internet broadband connection and an alternating random IP addy switch system in place for the exile to connect to the outside world – and the Kremlin gang can now sit back smirking at the Great Satan’s acute embarrassment as Eduardovich Snowdensky’s (new alias / covert identity) 58,000 paranoia-rousing revelations are trickled out to the media like the annoying drip-drip-drip of the good old Chinese water torture.

Hmmm, there’s a zero chance of their ‘global’ New World Order regime ever working when no fucker trusts their partners in crime and every sod’s spying on each other - friends and foes alike. What a bunch of dog wankers - they want a return to the feudal system and an uneducated pig-ignorant peasant class demographic – preferably one microchipped and programmable – a step up from the goggle box / mass media mesmerism system currently in use.
And they’re behind the breakneck push to get this control system in place – which technology finally presents the opportunity to achieve - a 24/7/365 panopticon total surveillance society machine. Little wonder the public at large on both sides of the Atlantic pond are on beta-suppressors and a cocktail of psychotropic drugs to combat high anxiety and states of chronic paranoid neurosis.

Ron McScally, spokesman for the Snafu-Watch group and his crew of supporters gathered in Parliament Square sporting ‘Go Snowden Go’ t-shirts, opined to the media that “As the old adage states, a secret only remains so when known to ‘one’. In this case we have too many secrets – and every fucker and their dog spying on each other. What a fucking shambles – amateurs posing as professionals, like some Third World circus without a tent. Personally, I’ve seen better organised riots.”
“So move over ASBO’s and the all-new IPNA’s – as here comes the TEBO’s (terror and extremism behaviour orders) designed to criminalise the hate-preaching rhetoric of one-eyed, hook-handed Muslim clerics – but will have the ‘small print’ suitably scripted to include any hapless twat who has the audacity to question or criticise government policy – to challenge the status quo.”

Well, they might have copped Big Al Capone on tax evasion charges but it’s doubtful Big Al Qaeda will go down the same path. Anyone recall the good old days, when nosy parker spying was simply an ear to the keyhole or steaming open folk’s mail or what the butler saw?

Do you have any dirty little secrets you’d like to share with the Daily Shitraker or WickedLeaks? Simply attach them to an e-mail and send them to our Whistle-Blowers.com website and someone from the CIA or MI5 or Mossad will be round to stick a bomb under your family hybrid run-around.

Thought for the day. New Testament: Luke 8.17 - ‘For there is nothing secret that shall not be made known’.

Regardless fuck the ZioNazi Freemasons and Big Brother – and his sister and the Illuminati’s New World Order.

Carbon Credit Offset / Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Global Warming / Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals - otters or voles – or Syrian refugees - were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of the GCHQ / Five Eyes Alliance’s Prism / Tempora / Carnivore / Echelon / X-Keyscore / SIG-INT I-Spy super snooper ‘Nosy Bastard’ wire-tap / eavesdropping system’s network electrons on Hubble Bubble Road in Cheltenham were temporarily inconvenienced.

Thought for the day. New Testament, Luke 8:17 - ‘For there is nothing secret that shall not be made known’.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.