The Russians Are Coming!

In today's 'Armageddon on the Doorstep' scaremongering exposé we bring readers the latest and greatest in hysteria-driven hot gossip from our frontline media hack, Chicken Little, manning the live news cellphone hotline from his oak tree perch in the Ministry of Defence's Cassandra Gardens - for Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with 'ring of the anvil' dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding anti-authoritarian non-conformists, proto-nihilists and those eclectic career radical, pro-justice revolutionaries who carry the immortal genetic Rh-Neg recusant bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial - and harbour zero respect or empathy for the privilege-abusing authoritarian 0:01% oligarchy that believe they rule this world and all upon its mantle.

Yep, the 'Russians are Coming!' banner headline sums up the lunatic aspect of this official government press release. Although WTF they're 'Coming For' is anybody's guess, as Broken Britain has fuck all to offer that the Northern Hemisphere-stretching Russian landmass doesn't have – unless they intend an-all-out military strike to snatch back the mega-litres of second rate vodka on our Greedy Grocer supermarket shelves.

Facetious speculations besides, the Nasty Party's juvenile political prodigy of a Defence Secretary, the adulterous Grotty Gavin Williamson, is on a pessimist-themed mission to boost his weapons of war budget by spreading black propaganda 'Apocalypse Now' porky pies – a malicious xenophobic fake news narrative that accuses Russia's War Masters of hatching malevolent plots against Broken Britain's infrastructure – respectively our island nation's four undersea connections for electricity linked to Europe, and a further four for natural gas – all supplying the UK with high priced energy sources.

Williamson, the current Tory 'Voice of Doom' – is a former House of Conmans Mr Whippy and career alarmist tosspot - crying wolf viz Russian threats as the Ministry of Defence is slammed with budget cuts by the Treasury in a futile attempt to divert funds to up the NHS ante and rectify this burgeoning mass extinction 'death cult' level event of A & E patients croaking on the floors of hospital corridors.

Hence after getting knocked back by Chancellor Philip 'Dandruff' Hammond when he called round the Treasury to beg for more money – to have the defence budget upped by a couple of hundred percent – and bollocks to the NHS – Williamson, in his delusional mental state, has conjured this more at scent than substance 'the Russians are coming!' scaremongering hysteria – and during an interview with the Warmongers Gazette claimed President Vlad Putrid's FSB agents are spying on Broken Britain's energy supplies, which, if cut, could cause even more chaos to our once sceptred isle than the Tories 'and' New Labour have collectively done since Millennium 2000.

Okay, maybe the Russians 'are' coming - but why? We're no threat to Mr Putrid and his nuclear armed nation state Mafia – apart from our contrived contributions to the rest of the US / Western media generated nuisance-level propaganda (aka more fake news) that blames Russia – or North Korea – or Iran – (but never, ever the true culprits like Donald Chump's good ole US of A or Isra-Hell) for all that's wrong in the world – including these ridiculous charges of Russia's meddling in US / UK / France and Krautland elections.

Williamson, a shot-up dog wanker, who was so recently elevated to ministerial office by the Tory's pathetic excuse for a leader – Timid Terry Mayhem – after back-stabbing the limp-wristed Michael Fallon into a 'resign-or-bust' scenario - is a power-hungry egoist manipulator on a par with New Labour's thrice-disgraced – and sacked – Prince of Darkness – Lord Peter Scandalson of the Felchers.

Here we might just be viewing a perfect example of the Peter principle at work - (amateurs posing as professionals) - wherein jobsworth wankers and tosspots are set up to fail via the route of continual promotions - to the highest level of ineptitude – which sees the hierarchical status quo preserved through blameworthy incompetent leadership.

Conversely, in the whining Williamson's case, one might be faced with him being the unknowing sufferer of the Dunning-Kruger effect - a cognitive bias wherein people of low ability suffer from states of unqualified arrogance and illusory superiority - mistakenly assessing their cognitive ability as far greater than it is.

There again, perhaps a Tavistock Institute-conjured reverse psychology 'blame game' might be in play – a cunningly-blended pastiche of both the Peter principle and the Dunning-Kruger effect - wherein an antithesis of the Dilbert principle applies: specifically, intellectually challenged factotums are promoted no higher than mid-level of responsibility in order to limit the amount of damage they are capable of doing.

To wit, in this case Williamson has been promoted from Parliamentary Whip status to Minister of Defence – an elevated appointment carrying a top rung level of responsibility - in order to 'execute and achieve' the maximum amount of damage they are capable of doing. Specifically, kick start a war with Russia, then they have the ideal pasty to blame for the ensuing nuclear apocalypse.

The Biased Broadcasting Corp's Laura Kuntsberg was quick to condemn Williamson's scaremongering, branding him a 'class act hysterical alarmist' for claiming MI5 had arrested Russian ex-Spetsnaz FSB agent Igor Chaosky – caught in possession of a list of the GPS locations of every fish n chip shop and Chinese take-away between Land's End and John O' Groats – which the Russkies intend to take out in their covert 'first strike' cruise missile attack on Britain, and cut off the public's number one food source.

Next Kuntsberg turned on the National Cyber Alarmist Centre's chief 'Agony Aunt', Cassandra McPanic, who after recently scrying her crystal ball, predicted that Russia is ready to stage attacks against Britain's media, telecommunications and energy sectors in the coming year – specifically on Easter's 'egg-rolling Sunday'.

Though Williamson's alarmism is backed by former First Sea Lord and security minister, Sir Rupert Haddock, who opined to one gutter press hack from the Warmongers Review that "If Britain's common herd taxpayers knew what Russia was really up to then they'd 'shit kittens' – and regret not funding our BAE Systems arms industry cronies instead of the NHS when they end up as prisoners of war and working night shifts in some Siberian teddy bear factory."

If that useless limp-wristed 'career civilian' fluffer, the flabby Fallon, wasn't a pathetic enough excuse for a defence secretary, his Mr Whippy Williamson 'zero military experience' replacement outdoes him – an adulterous equivocating twat whose treacherous reputation precedes his shadow – who we don't trust to run a bath, let alone our national defences.

In the wicked Williamson, spouting jingoist rhetoric, we have manifested a Zionist sympathiser who supports Israel's military actions in the Mid-East – and their human rights abuses (war crimes) against the Palestinians.
To his eternal discredit, he voted in favour of repealing the 1998 Human Rights Act - and put his moniker on the Parliamentary petition to block Lord Chilcot's 'whitewash' inquiry into New Labour's 'weapons of mass distraction' dodgy dossier and Britain's illegal participation in the Iraq war.
Further, he has repeatedly voted in favour of 24/7 panopticon surveillance of people's internet activities, emails, phone calls, texts and affiliated activities – plus the mass retention of information of the common herd taxpayers' communications.

His latest assault on the public's common sense is the press release of a report of Russian origin hype / fake news - that the body of the iconic WW1Unknown Warrior entombed in a Westminster Abbey grave is actually that of a Russian deserter, Ivan Fledsky.

No shit, this twat Williamson is in the wrong job – he should be scribbling up scripts for Hollywood B movies.

In response to these accusations, Moscow's Defence Ministry spokesman, Igor Sackashit, opined to media hacks that "Williamson had lost his grasp on reason. These morbid fear comments are worthy of a Monty Python sketch or belong in a children's comic book, like the Beano - trying to scare the British public in an effort to divert money from the NHS budget to fund his ill-equipped armed forces and boost the profits of the Tories BAE Systems cohorts."

"He is a political 'nothing' and more full of 'дерьмо' (shitsky) than a Christmas goose. For the minister's information, all data regarding the location of British power stations, undersea electric and communications cables and pipelines is as secret as, for instance, photographs and the location of Westminster Abbey or Big Ben."

Let's be straight up here – if any part of Williamson's black propaganda scenario bears a thread of credibility, then the Russian military machine is simply evaluating an equal response strategy to what the Western Deep State Neo-Con Mil-Ind cartel – and their compliant stooge politicos - are planning to do to them.

Doubtless they're looking for strategic weaknesses in the socio-political and infrastructure systems – for if the current torrents of Western-generated media belligerence morphs into a real time shit-fight – then they're ready to respond accordingly.

Just leave them alone and they'll leave us alone. For fuck's sake, look at the Cold War history – from 1945 to 1989 - 40-odd years, Trotsky was no more, and Russia – like the West today – only exercised it's expansionist ideology via foreign field proxy wars.

Okay, we're all too well aware that the world is run my egocentric, sadistic maniacs – just look at the good ole US of A – tagged with the derogatory moniker of 'The Great Satan' – and with sound cause.
A Neo-Colonial empire builder – in cahoots with their Ashkenazi ZioNazi cronies running Israel (formerly Palestine) and causing death and destruction across the Mid-East – and a score of other socio-political hotspots globally (Ukraine / Yemen / Sudan / Syria / Libya / Afghanistan)– via outright false flag terrorist attacks, as per 9/11 wherein the Zionist Neo-Con Deep State Mil-Ind cartel, in conspiratorial alliance with Israel / Mossad, attacked the NY WTC Towers and Pentagon and slaughtered thousands of civilians - then blamed their treasonous treachery on a bunch of ragheads operating out of a cave in Afghanistan.

And the same continues unabated with their Ayrab Spring and Colour Revolutions – to bring democracy, peace and prosperity (some joke) to the down-trodden of the Earth. What fucking brass-necked arrogant guff.

Thought for the day. Just one problem with all this 'The Russians are Coming' alarmist brouhaha. If they 'do' come, Mr Gobshite Williamson and our defences might get the odd round or two off before it's all over, bar the shouting – as we'll be well n truly fucked – same as the Iceni when the 'Lousy Latin Legions' from Pax Romana arrived for their Mk 2 'extended visit' back in 43 AD – or Harold's shagged-out Saxons against William's Stormin' Normans in 1066.

Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with measures of wild rumour 'and' decaffeinated public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness.
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