In today’s ‘Batshit Bonkers American Presidency' exposé edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering political deceptions and blatant lies from our frontline Washington Beltway TS media hack, Mimi McScrote, manning the live news cellphone hotline from her covert West Wing broom cupboard hidey hole for Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with 'ring of the anvil' dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding non-conformists, proto-nihilists and career radical pro-justice revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial - and harbour zero respect or empathy for the privilege-abusing authoritarian 0:01% oligarchy that believe they rule this world and all upon its mantle.
The 2017-elected President of the Great Satan, arch-vulgarian Donald Chump, has vehemently rebuffed accusations that his 'three score and ten years' (plus one) geriatric stage mental health is in a state of sedentary dementia-stricken disrepair – countering that the revelations and recriminations published in Michael Wolff's bombshell of a book, released this week to uproarious acclaim – are more full of shit than a pelican on ex-lax – and humbly describing his narcissistic self as a 'stable genius'.
Stable genius? Really? That needs an 'elbow nudge' from Melanoma to stand - in accordance with the Flag Code – then the doddering, senile git can't remember the words (if he ever knew them) of The Star Spangled Banner national anthem.
More Trumpy 'trumpet-blowing': to quote the 'criticism sensitive' pretentious twat verbatim: " My two greatest assets (apart from Daddy Fred's money) have been mental stability and being, like, really smart. From a very successful businessman to top TV star to President of the United States of Israel."
Well, thank you Donaldovich Trumpsky - nowt we appreciate more than a Presidential display of self-depreciating humility.
Though no real shock n awe surprises in Wolff's claim - when White House staffers, up close n confidential with President Comb-Over on a daily basis, have personally – (and publicly) - questioned his mental capability and gross political incompetence – with several referring to him as an 'idiot' and a 'moron'.
Though one is drawn to question why Old Swampy feels compelled to respond to such criticism if, as he maintains, he has never met Wolff and the content of the book is a fabric of lies – based on innuendo and slanderous gossip – now manifest as criminal case libel since morphing into published text format – a fact that might be hard to prove considering Wolff's 200-plus 'Team Trump' interviews and fly-on-the-wall access to the West Wing.
Wolff's controversial (and unauthorised) 'Fire and Fury - Inside the Chump Shite House' biography has been summarily dismissed by the President as a 'pile of utter crap – a libellous fiction scribbled by some guy I've never met' – with Trumpsky further referring to Wolff as a class act plagiarist dog wanker – and his kiss n tell informant, ex-Oval Office advisor Steve Bannon, as treacherous scum – dismissed from his job with the Deep State's mark of the Black Spot stuck on the palm of his hand – and not only ear-marked for a high octane IRS audit – but
now topping the Homeland Insecurity / TSA no-fly list – and perhaps due for a midnight 'assisted suicide' visit from one of Mossad's Kidon assassination units – if they're not too busy moving furniture – or can take a break from their art classes – or snuffing Palestinians in Dubai hotels.
'Fire and Fury' hit the bookshelves on Friday, days ahead of its scheduled release, amid President Tweet's top dollar legal beagles' failed attempts to block its publication – a strategy backfire move resulting in the book becoming a 'must have' instant bestseller.
One of Wolff's primary scandalous revelations portrays the entire Trumpton election team (Bannon included) as being shocked into a collective state of dribbling catatonia by their candidate's majority vote on ballot-counting night – plus the sense of real time fiscal loss – as they had all placed mega-bucks bets on the Mena Mafia Matriarch co-contender, Hilarious Rodent Clinton, to win – considering their own boy, Donald – cursed by his empty election trail pledge to 'drain the swamp' - no more than an 'also ran'.
Wolff recounts tales confided to him by Shite House aides who wished to retain an air of anonymity - (Stevie Bannon / Mad Dawg Mattis / T. Rex Tillerson / HR McMaster) - of a president with the nano-seconds attention span of a dyslexial hamster - bouncing from issue to issue like a pinball – with zero time nor tolerance for facts that differ from his personal 'fisheye' worldview - and all while tweeting his global Twitter audience with the thoughts of President Don.
The root of the back-stabbing 'breach of confidentiality' information in Wolff's tome - highly embarrassing, compromising, bewildering and mortifying in nature as it might be – lies with the dominance power struggle between Gentile goy Bannon and the heebie-jeebie Zionist bloc – fronted by Jared '666' Kushner (Israel's kikester sayanim (stooge) in the Shite House) - and shit-for-brains Trump daughter, 'I wannabe President one day too' Iwanka Chump.
But it's not only loose lips Bannon – the Chump Shite House administration has morphed into a virtual labour exchange run on the Three B's philosophy: Bribes, Blackmail or Bludgeons – with staff coming and going like flies on cowshit – and the expunged 'undesirables' are loaded with scandalous, newsworthy venom.
Perhaps Trump could have these offenders of his exalted self-promoting ego-pride 'sanctioned' – much the same as the Clinton administration did – but eventually the bodies start to pile up (like Mena) and some nosy press hack asks inconvenient questions – and that rarest of creatures – an honest attorney-general or judge might take a political interest – then the shit hits the fan.
To wit, the case of former FBI Director Robert Mueller, acting as Special Counsel for the United States Department of Justice and leading an investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 US election and exploring any links or coordination between Chump's 2016 presidential bid and Vlad Putrid's Moscow Mafia and / or Israel and Bobo Nuttyahoo's Kosher Nostra – a fact confirmed in Wolff's expose book with Steve Bannon's revelation that Chump's eldest son, the IQ-deficient Donald Junior, was guilty of treasonous behaviour in meeting a group of Russians.
Now, in a fit of 'too little n too late' damage control pique viz the publication of Wolff's unauthorised incendiary bio - and Bannon's less than complimentary remarks therein – specifically that President Chimp employs a Syrian war zone refugee as a 'food taster' – which confirms Wolff's exposure of the fact that the Pres' has a paranoid fear of being poisoned by wifey No 3, Melanoma – Trumpsky wants to go one step beyond with the post-9/11-eviscerated US Constitution n Bill of Rights - to draw a line in the sand regarding free speech – specifically any and all that mention his name and dirty dealings with Russia – or being an Edomite Mafia payroll stooge – or the Zionist-backed dynastic ambitions for Ivanka's presidential candidacy - will be classified as a criminal offence.
So, where the fuck do we position this gobshite bully – (an egocentric braggart who couldn't tell the truth if he hasn't got a semi-feasible lie ready - and believes his Deep State-placement Shite House staff dilute his delusionary 'talent') - in the realm of Linnaean taxonomy: order, family, genus, species, sub-species? A self-promoting genius in his own right. But is Humpty-Trumpty really on a par with the Einsteins and Schrödingers of this world?
Not if we consider his school playground thugster intimidation antics and tendency towards lying. Drain the swamp? Now Washington n Wall Street are wallowing in it. Corporate tax rates slashed. Playing nuclear mind games with the NorKors. Provoking Russia, China and Iran to war-readiness states of paranoia. The proposed – but unfunded – Gulf to Pacific 'Wetback Wall' to keep illegal immigrant Beaners out. The mind boggles at such ludicrous political deportment.
One point is for sure, history will not remember the boastacious prick kindly.
Thought for the day. Trumpy's an impetuous silver spoon moron - another Twitter-addicted cellphone zombie - blighted with the curse of opening gob before engaging brain (sic).
To wit, paranoid psychosis besides - regarding Congress removing his fat ass from office by implementing the 25th Amendment's statutes, viz reasons of mental heath impairment / disability, and stick VP Pence behind the Resolute desk - if the word 'prudent' were part of Chump's limited lexicon – he might turn the eye of caution to his Secret Service detail – as this purported elitist corps were the same scum who conspired to – and did - murder JFK in Dallas. A necessary act of evil - to maintain the Deep State Mil-Ind Neo-Con bankster status quo.
Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with measures of wild rumour 'and' decaffeinated public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness.
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