A recent survey of 2,000 members of Broken Britain's common herd at large, commissioned by the 'What.Can.We.Fuck.With.Next' snowflake Wokester charity foundation, in association with the Compassion in Farming quango, and the National Secular Sausage Society, has issued a press release of its findings, which conclude that, in their biased and unqualified opinions, consumers want comprehensive animal welfare labels on meat products.
68% of Food Bank Britain's public estate surveyed, who have, for some obscure reason, recently been infected with the prevalent Woke virus and evolved a moral conscience viz the pre-'on yer plate' life of the meat dish adorning their dinner table, now wish to see labelling that shows the conditions of how their Chicken Bruschetta, Saddle of Lamb, Pork Schnitzel, Virginia Ham or Bœuf Bourgignon was reared and cared for – and subsequently murdered – (by fair means or foul) – specifically displaying the age of the animal, it's pet name, and did it receive Last Rites prior to being slaughtered?
More than two thirds of customers surveyed claim they would prefer to see labels and smiley face photos on meat products, displaying where animals were raised, and if they voiced any 'right to life' objections regarding their one-way visit to the abattoir.
Under current food labelling laws only eggs are legally required to show the conditions of where the hens and ducks live and lay – and in the case of dairy products, the same applies with milk-producing cows and goats.
If the proposed Happy Smiling Animals Bill goes through the House of Conmans and Upper House of Frauds, and becomes law, then egg and milk cartons must further carry the bio-data and a full face photo of the avian egg layer and cloven-hoofed herbivore milk provider.
Egg boxes currently carry labels stating whether they are from battery or free range hens – a requirement that boosted sales of free range eggs by 50% in the wake of its introduction, with major Greedy Grocer supermarkets further pledging to phase out the production of both 6 and 12 volt battery eggs by 2055.
This asinine government-led consultation is ongoing - whether it should be compulsory to put welfare labels revealing if animals such as chickens and pigs were reared in 'horrendous conditions' factory farms – or allowed the free run of the fields alike Shaun the Sheep – until Doomsday calls – plus whether they were given last rites and a sedative prior to getting the proverbial 'chop' – or simply met their end kicking n howling n screeching - as per the religious halal and kosher 'zero stunning' exempt protocols of slaughter demand.
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