Monday, 16 February 2015

Nonceland Pass 'Big Brother' Mindfuck Act

In today’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ mindfuck edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The welfare of unborn children will come under scrutiny as part of the bonny Nonceland government’s Womb tae Tomb Act proposals for a named person to be involved with families and setting up planning and support for every child north of the border – starting during the last trimester of pregnancy.
The Vulnerable Child & Underage Rent Boy Sexual Exploitation (Nonceland) Act of 2014 legislation, which will come into effect in 2016, is set to cover children from birth through infancy, puberty, adolescence and then adulthood - up until the age of 18 - which critics claim stinks of state interference in the iconic institution of family life privacy.

The much-maligned act - which many canny Scots perceive as a law made up to assist for-profit social service trolls in their kiddie snatching activities - and their embedded child molesters in finding new prey - will see every Scottish bairn allocated a 'named person' (typically unemployed jobseekers) up to the age of five, followed by an equally perverted paedo deviant teacher – with plans in motion to eventually recruit these purported 'guardian angels' from the ranks of the Boy Scout Masters Social Sodomy Club or the notorious Glasgow / Edinburgh-based Violate BD/SM Club membership rolls.

Sir Angus McScrote, Permanent Undersecretary at the Crown Office and legal advisor to the Lord Advocate, in his role as President of the Edinburgh-based Masonic Speculative Society's Magic Circle, opined to one gutter press hack from the Catamite's Gazette: "Our plan is to follow the Jesuit example and grab the little bastards as soon as they're born – then they'll be ours for life – Satan's due - and cut out the family middleman interference factor of incestuous brothers, cousins and uncles."

Fellattia Skanger, spokeswoman for the 'Stick Yer Named Person Act' opposition activist group informed media hacks that "Yer gonna see parents become fuck all more than helpless spectators in the upbringin' of their own fuckin' sprogs as soon as this warped cradle ter the grave state control is implemented. The whole caboodle stinks of a Kafkaesque panopticon Big Brother culture – an' what's more it's a paedo perv's wet dream come true. The fuckin' nonces are gonna be queuin' ter sign up as 'named persons' so they can get their tadgers inter some innocent wee boy or girl's private parts."

"On top of this where's the fuckin' oversight as these secret family courts protect the evil bastard social worker's family-destroyin' criminal excesses from public scrutiny. So vote for the Scottish Nonce Party if you want ter see an end ter family privacy."

Rumours abound that Labour MSP Graeme Pearson, a member of the Scottish Parliament’s justice sub-committee on policing and himself a former Plod Squad officer, informed the Totalitarian's Gazette that the SNP's hobbit-edition Worst Minister 'Zira' Sturgeon should drop this entire Orwellian Named Person 'paedophile enablement bill' scam and finally get her lazy arse into gear and set the likes of Police Scotland's Chief Constable Sir Stephen 'I try my best' Louse to investigating historical child sexual abuse cases – starting with the Hollie Greig scandal – and why Lord Douggie Cullen slapped the Dunblane school massacre inquiry findings with a 100 year gagging order to protect paedo pimp Thomas Watt Hamilton's Freemason kiddie sex clients.

"Stephen Louse ought to find better uses for his time than tear-arsing around on a motorbike giving erring motorists a hard time. This vainglorious, power crazy martinet might well boast of his hands-on attitude to policing – but all that equates as no more than blather from another establishment jobsworth-shill when it comes down to investigating scandalous cases of historic child sexual abuse by his old Freemason secret handshake fraternity pals in Scotland's kiddie fiddling capital of Scaberdeen."
"What we had previously was a series of minor corruption-ridden fiefdoms that have now, under Louse's aegis, morphed into one mega-whopper corruption-ridden fiefdom under the title Plod Squad Nonceland."

"Louse is a typical example of what happens when government agencies grab further powers (arming the moronic plods) with neither the facilities of foresight or oversight applied – mainly due the fact he's a classic dog wanker whose cognitive and emotional control skills rate in at zero on the Linnaean taxonomy human classification index."
"Then we have Louse's warped concept of the arrestable class and the unarrestable class – for the Chief Constable labours under the very same misapprehension as the Crown Office has for years - that crimes by members of the elite must be swept under the rug due the fact prosecuting them would destabilise the system."

"But here we're faced with a Glasgow bully boy, who after reading a pop-up picture book copy of Orwell's 1984 as an 11-year old child, made it his masturbation fantasy to be a part of a disciplined, Big Brother hierarchical environment where he could act out his inbred control freak disciplinarian fantasies and stamp all over anti-corruption whistleblowers like Assistant Chief Constable John Mauger - who had the audacity to publicly criticise Louse's controversial move to kit out hundreds of officers with firearms on routine duties – and his attempts to justify the policy by citing the Dunblane massacre as sufficient reason."

Thought for the day. The Holyrood Parliament's Worst Minister, Nicola 'Zira' Sturgeon, who succeeded Alex 'Porky Pict' Salmond as Scottish Nonce Party leader last November (WTF - are all SNP politicos named after fish?) is rumoured to be a figment of the Scottish people's imagination and actually a 'wee nippy' emoji character that bears a passing resemblance to Nonceland's answer to the Clitheroe Kid - Jimmy Krankie

Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with wild rumour 'and' hard public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

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