Tuesday, 3 February 2015

Dobby Set to Become 'Royal Meddler'

In this morning’s ‘Monarchical Madness’ expose edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Constitutional calamities are on the horizon if old QE2 Lizzie pops her clogs and Prince Dobby sits upon the throne of England to become King Chazzer Mk III – the Meddling Monarch who is intent on mending Broken Britain – and much else in this fucked-up world of ours.

First on Big Ears self-serving agenda is no less than a right royal shake up - a total overall in fact - of the honours award system as he, in his unqualified arrogance, is of an opinion that gongs and titles are handed out to the wrong people for the wrong reasons – with past recipients including such low life scumbags as Bolshie union leaders, dockers and miners, plus lots of 'foreign types' – and (er – dare we say it?) untouchable kiddie fiddling BBC DJs.

The best place to start with this programme of rectification is at the doorstep of the bat-eared prince himself - and his Nazi slouch of a father, His Royal Rudeness, Prince Stavros, Duck of Edinburgh – sporting a gold and diamond encrusted Order of the Tzatziki Kebab. Such is the perverse sense of entitlement with the Planet Windsor brand.

Wrong people for the wrong reasons audacity indeed. WTF about all the ridiculous campaign ribbons and medals Dobby has hanging off his blazer or festooned to the front of his Gilbert & Sullivan comic opera uniforms – including one for his 1997 uxoricidal achievement activities – having his squabbling Wolf Hall minions set up Princess Diana Goldsmith's murder – plus the big gold Royal Plant Whisperer gong awarded as a birthday pressie by that chain-smoking troll of a harpie - whom he tossed Cinderella out of bed for – the dog-eared Gorgonzilla, Duchess of Cornhole.

A semi-authorised (but 'not' Dobby-proof read or approved) biography penned by Fellattia McScrote, editor at large for the Daily Shitraker, is by all accounts hyper-critical of the lunatic fringe royal – not only revealing that up close and personal the scruffy twat is looking his age and then some – but his moronic manipulations of Clarence House and High Grove bureaucrats and staff has them – purposely – engaged in a Blackadder style internecine turf war and at each other's throats - and all trying to catch Chazzer's ear – which shouldn't be too difficult with that pair of Dumbo jugs sticking out either side of his inbred Saxe-Coburg-Gotha mongrel bonce.

Sir Dinsdale Baldrick, a disgruntled member of his Highgrove estate inner circle cronies, confided to biographer Fellattia McScrote: "Is he a meddling cunt, burning the midnight oil and writing letters to government ministers like Sir Malcolm Rifkind, telling them what to do and have MI5 stop the media harassing and upsetting his Mummy just because little brother Andy shagged some teenage sex slave – and get the 22 SAS Group 13 unit to snuff Jeffrey Epstein? Most definitely."
"Is he misguided on occasions? Every time. But does he do it for the best of reasons? Absolutely, as Chazzer's like old King George III – a total nutter. But here's the stickler, for one hell of a gap exists between the public perception of Chazzer and who he really is – a total dog wanker."

Author McScrote claims in 'Prince Dobby: A King in Waiting, Waiting, Waiting' that Chazzer's Clarence House base is like Hillary Mantel's fictionalised Thomas Cromwell bio - Wolf Hall – with Chazzer living parallels to Henry VIII – as both have a knack of getting rid of unwanted wives via acts of exercising the 'royal prerogative'. Albeit Dobby's just a beginner yet at knocking off spouses – unless he also tires of the chain smoking Gorgonzilla and arranges for the MI5 Increment assassination crew to set up another Boston Brakes scenario so he can get the likes of Tiggy Legge-Bourke back between the sheets for a royal rumble.

Thought for the day. Thus Dobby seems hell bent on becoming the veritable meddling monarch and ending up like his Charles Mk 1 Stuart predecessor – beheaded.
The first order of business if he is deemed compos mentis and does assume the throne, then some fucker or their dog needs to tell the dozy twat that Red Nose Day has finished.

So will We, the tax-paying, voting (for what fucking good it does) public demographic tolerate and abide by his socio-political meddling? More to the point do we want a closet case Jew on the throne, in the role of Fidi Defensor – Defender of the Church of England Protestant faith?
No way, and nor will we easily forget his long-term Men in Skirts coddling associations with that child molesting paedo DJ, Sir 'Jim'll Fuck It' Savile.

Perhaps it will come to a case where we are forced to paraphrase the words of Henry II viz that annoying twat Becket and ask: "Who will rid us of this troublesome monarch?" – then stick Prince Wills the Balding Anti-Christ on the throne of England in his place.

Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with wild rumour 'and' hard public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.


Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

1 comment:

Kelly said...

Hilarious. Just like Chazzer's entire off-stage performance in life. What a clot.