Ms. Shagnasty also called for compulsory metering and better education of customers. "If everyone on Rockall saved four litres of water a week by turning off the tap while showering it would be enough to run the sprinklers on the country club golf course and keep the greens pristine this summer,” she informed Rockall Times
Environment editor Lenny Sproggit.
The current drought might also portend an economic downturn for Rockall’s established industries.
The lack of winter rainfall has seen Twatscratcher Brook drop to an alarming low, with a mere trickle wetting the upper rapids, and thus hindering the return of homing salmon to their annual spawning grounds in Loch Lamprey. Fears have been voiced that this may have drastic consequences for the island’s fish canning industry.
Ms. Anita Dorkwrangler, a holistic healing therapist at the popular Tug and Pull Massage Clinic on Slappers Lane, expressed her concerns to the Times.
“If the effin’ water’s rationed ‘ow are we gonna keep the clinic’s spa section runnin’ cos we ain’t gonna be able to fill up the en suite jacuzzis.”
“‘ow would you fancy rubbin’ down an’ jackin’ off mobs of ‘alf-pissed sweaty, stinkin’ smoked ‘addock salemen if yer can’t give ‘em a good scrubbin’ first ?”
Good point Anita, rubber gloves and a nosepeg perhaps.
On a brighter note the patrons of the Fighting Dog and Pikey pub were unanimous in their positive collective opinion that water rationing might see
the draught beer getting stronger.