Tuesday, 19 August 2008

Big Brother star Goody has the Big C’

Reality TV celeb’ Jade Goody diagnosed with galloping cunt rot.

Reality TV star Jade Cruddy has been diagnosed with cervical cancer, her publicist Max Clifford confirmed today.
The 27-year-old celebrity slapper was informed whilst appearing on the Indian version of Big Brother, known as Bigg Bitch.

Max Clifford told BBC Radio 1's Shitraker programme that Goody was
"extremely upset and frightened and will be back as soon as they can get her on a plane".
India’s Bigg Bitch producers confirmed Goody had left the house for "medical reasons”. She is due to arrive back in the UK later.

"Jade had some tests carried out recently by a team of pot-holers and gynaecologists from Dynarod UK, then she went off to India to appear in their version of Big Brother," Mr Clifford informed the media.
"Yesterday we got a call from her Dynarod consultant to say she has a type of aggressive cervical cancer known as galloping cunt rot, so she has to return to England straight away for treatment."

Clifford added: "We put the Dynarod consultant in touch with the Bigg Bitch programme producers in India and because of the circumstances he was allowed to speak to her and explain the results of her tests."
When asked if the result was a positive smear test or a confirmed diagnosis of cancer, Mr Clifford said: "No, it’s definitely galloping cunt rot."

"The important thing is to get her back as soon as possible and have this treated.
Obviously there were some problems prior to the India trip - such as the putrefying green slime running down her inner thighs - that's why the tests were carried out. But she had no idea this would be the diagnosis - she was shocked when she learned it wasn’t simply another dose of the clap."

Goody, who has the IQ of a barn owl, had undergone STD tests earlier this month after leaving trails of noxious slime from her vaginal discharge around
her Essex home.
But she had decided to appear in Bigg Bitch to make amends after being accused of racism towards Bollywood actress Slippa Shitty on Celebrity
Big Brother in the UK.
According to The Sun newspaper, scenes showing Goody being told of her diagnosis in the Bigg Bitch house were not broadcast at the time due her screaming “Oh fuck, me cunt’s gone rotten!” and suffering one of her regular bouts of projectile vomiting.

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