Royal Reptiles: WTF Don’t They Own?

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The gospel according to last weekend’s edition of the Money Grubbers Gazette reveals that Queen Bizzy Lizzy II and her worthless wet dream of a dog wanker eldest son Prince Dobby, the Royal Plant Whisperer, have come to amicable terms on divvying up the untapped gold deposits of Cornwall – a 50/50 split with nary a mention of the odd Troy ounce of the shiny precious metal going to the southern shire’s public coffers.

Such is the state of affairs with our greed-mongering aristocraps – this dysfunctional Saxe-Coburg-Gotha-Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg-Windsor family - not satisfied with their 24/7/365 vacation – all at the hapless public’s expense – QE2 and the bat-eared Chazzer have resorted falling out over who gets the biggest share of the spoils of the newly-discovered Cornish gold bonanza at the Midas Mine, near Scamborne.

The Crown Estate, which lays a Mines Royal historical claim dating back to 1568 to the proceeds from mining on and under every square foot of our once-sceptred isle, has agreed to resolve the centuries-old row between themselves and the Duchy of Cornwall and grudgingly split the predicted zillion quid per annum income profits with Prince Chazzer.

A letter from Sir Mortimer Armitage-Shanks, the Crown Estate’s deputy head of legal, to the Queen’s lawyers, Ripoffs, Fleecem & Twatt, sets out the agreement that while the Crown Estate will continue to grant mining and natural gas fracking licences, which include gold and methane, it will give ‘50 per cent of any revenue or capital receipts, net of costs, to the Duchy of Cornhole’.

Conversely, the deal has sparked the ire of anti-monarchist campaigners, who revealed the fact that while Crown Estate revenues go to the Treasury, Prince Dobby’s 130,000-acre Duchy of Cornhole is – typically - exempt from corporation tax.

It neither sits well with the common herd - nor bodes well for the shape of things to come - that the laws crafted to keep the common herd in check and at a permanent disadvantage (marginalised and in a state of indebtedness) were drafted by this cabal of shape-shifting reptilian degenerates that claim ‘divine provenance’ to rule over us - due this preposterous loopy lizard Kingship gene they inherited from the off-world Annunaki that gives them the blue blooded noble right – as High Preists of the Brotherhood of the Snake - to dominate the affairs of mankind and bleed us dry with taxes and tithes. To wit, there’s no such word as ‘minimalist’ in the avaricious, grasping cunts’ lexicon.

But the canny anarchist segments of our marginalised society, unlike the Hive Mind sheeple, fail to be fascinated and enthralled by all that glitters or apathetic displays of limp wrist hand-waving by these archetype vulgarians - and their blingy crowns and rows of Pound Shop medals and tiaras festooned with blood diamonds and cursed rubies.

We, the people - aka HRH’s reluctant subjects - are collectively sick to the back teeth with these genetic misfits – this inbred foreign clan of slack jawed, bat eared, piranha toothed, horse-faced mongrels – all the result of centuries of swimming at the shallow end of the gene pool – and their exaggerated sense of entitlement and ostentatious abuse of privilege - and this threadbare pantomime claim of the divine right to rob every fucker blind and keep us in a state of perpetual penury - to the benefit of the few (Them / 1%) and the detriment of the many (Us / 99%).

These wastrels, following millenniums of inbreeding that has resulted in a eugenic catastrophe, in their perennial state of unqualified arrogance, believe themselves to be a picture perfect Lipizanner pedigree breed - untouchable and beyond censure, to rule over the affairs of mankind and treat us as cattle.

Hence a consensus now lies with the fact that a logical and pragmatic approach should be adopted to rid ourselves of this despicable yoke of debt slavery, and for the rabid Royals to be bestowed with a similar measure of veneration as that afforded the Bourbon monarchy by the French peasantry in 1789 (when they ran out of ‘cake’) - and the Russian Bolsheviks visited upon the aloof and callous heads of the Romanov dynasty in 1917 – another befitting extinction level event.

Do you live in Cornwall? Have you discovered gold on your property? How about large reserves of fossil fuels such as petrified dinosaur shit? Would you like to open up your back garden for fracking – or have an environmentally-friendly wind turbine erected?

Thought for the day. Well, with the gold price at US$1,364 / £844 quid per Troy ounce / 31.10 grams metric, that should keep the bloated Royal revenue streams soaring – and Bizzy Lizzie’s Rothshite crime syndicate Kosher Nostra banksters happy – along with their foul lucre-grubbing deity Mammon, the God of Greed.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.