Thursday, 29 January 2009

RSPCA to Sue Israel on Cruelty Charges

The Gaza Zoo reeks of death after the rabid mad-dog Israeli military decided to shoot everything in Gaza that was considered remotely Palestinian and old enough to bleed : defenceless zoo animals included.

But zookeeper Ali Abu Semtexvest doesn’t appear to react to the stink of rotting carcasses, an exotic blend of animal, vegetable, human, and mineral charnel stenches as he walks around the animals’ enclosures, totting up a list of murdered exotic species for his UN compensation claim.

A month ago, it was attracting families - he says the zoo drew up to a thousand visitors each day - but will hardly achieve that figure anymore with less than a thousand people left with one hoppable leg out of the entire Palestinian population, and the only visible survivors of the zoo slaughter : a colony of very shell-shocked gerbils.

Ali Abu told the media “The Khazar yid bastards shot the monkeys too, even though we have CCTV footage of them dropping their bananas and peanuts and holding up their hands.”
He then points at the huge holes in a slaughtered camel in one of the enclosures. “They used old Humpy for bazooka target practice. Turned her into a Bedouin colander.”

The dismembered body of a thirty foot high giraffe lies hobbled against a zoo boundary wall, with six inch spiked pegs hammered into it’s neck every twelve inches apart, right up to the skull. “They used the giraffe as a ladder and look-out post,” Ali informs us, “Until it keeled over due blood loss. Then they shoved a frag’ grenade up its bum and blew it away.”

It is rumoured that Israeli troops entered the zoo initially to retrieve two Hebrew-speaking parrots from the aviary section, that had been planted there as spies and originally disguised as stool pigeons, but were discovered to have had their tongues cut out.

However, the troops, belonging to the IDF’s Parrot Recovery Paranoia Platoon, claim they got some very funny looks from the hippopotamus enclosure during their extraction manoeuvre and opened fire in self-defence, decimating scores of defenceless small furry mammals and committing a debauched orgy of flamingo buggery in and around the wildfowl ponds.

The big cats’ enclosures came under fire too but a pride of African lions and a gaggle of Smegmadale Razor-Clawed Feral Tomcats leapt over the top of their cages and pursued the fleeing soldiers into the zoo’s rain forest feature, from which only screams and, er, more screams, were heard after.
Ali informed reporters that his average Smegmadale Feral Tomcat weighs about 300kg and can eat its way through several kilos of Israeli troopers in an hour.

The Gaza Zoo was originally opened and funded by Palestinian leader Yessir Marafat’s “Al Fatah Kisses Israel’s Ass Party” and later lauded as a great success, receiving an expanded budget from Hamas’ “Israel Can Kiss Our Spotty Arab Ass Party” once they were elected to office.

“Ah well, at least the animals got one over on our nasty psychopath neighbours,” Ali giggles to himself then explains “The Israeli murderers shot our Patagonian Pot-Bellied Tuskers then barbequed them with white phosphorus, not realising they’re a type of pig. I hope they all get tape worms and Jehovah sends the lot to Hell for breaking their kosher laws.”

The United Nations and other supposedly august bodies of the civilised (sic) world’s human rights defenders and enforcers are currently stricken by a terminal dose of convenient apathy regarding Israel’s war crimes, blatant breaches of the Geneva Convention and genocide attacks on Gaza’s Palestinian civilian population ( with children as the preferred sniper’s target).

However the UK’s RSPCA and the RSPCC have taken up the fallen global banner of moral social conscience and filed preliminary corresponding cases of cruelty to animals and children against the Israeli government at Bow Street Magistrates Court in London.

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